Memoirs of a Mumfirst

My little alien!

2009-01-07T19:46:00.004+10:00

I had my NT scan today. I didn’t know what to expect seeing as though I didn’t take this test route with the other two. Apparently I was low risk. I didn’t really expect there to be a high age risk this time but seeing as though I now have a ‘3’ in my age I thought I would give it a go – any excuse to see the baby.

I was nervous but that goes without saying really – I’m kinda nervous about all things this pregnancy. Lucky I have my little Doppler handy (I purchased it during my pregnancy with Lily). It’s meant that any time a wave of doubt pops up in my mind I just get my trusty friend the Doppler and search until I can find the baby’s heartbeat and listen blissfully to the sound of the horses running. I first heard the heartbeat on Boxing Day and boy that was a relief. Once little bubs starts kicking me hard my need to gravitate towards the Doppler will no doubt decrease.

Even though I’ve heard the heart beat many times there is sometimes doubt...what if it’s not ok? What if there is something wrong? I’m sounding like a broken record huh? Anyway, seeing #3 baking away in there today was so great. Bubbles (as s/he shall now be called) was moving around at just the right pace. The sonographer had no problems getting all the measurements. The nuchal fold test was 1.5mm which was perfect. Bubbles was measuring one day less then my due date which is 3 days better then it was measuring at the 7 week scan. Perfect.

They were running 30 minutes behind so by the time we finished I couldn’t really wait around for the results as I had to go back to work (I had already been gone 2 hours!). The lady was nice though and quickly worked them out and apparently I have a low risk for Downs Syndrome at 1:11,924. That’s a relief. She will send all my results and pics off to my doctor and I’ll pick them up on the weekend. Before leaving though I insisted she give me some pictures so that I could show Byron and Lily their new brother or sister.

Byron thought she looked like a girl. He really wants a baby sister. Lily said boy – but she says boy for everything. I’m leaning towards girl but I’m not sure why – I was so wrong with Byron though! Anyway, without further ado, here is my little Bubbles...

Who would have thought that a little alien like creature could cause me so much grief? I should have known huh? It’s not like the two that came before were any nicer to their mummy while baking. It's ok little one...mummy still loves you! See you in 7 more weeks. xxx

My News...

2008-12-23T12:38:00.002+10:00

The reason for my long absence is this damn morning sickness. You guessed it? Number 3 is on the way. The last 5 weeks I’ve been kicking myself thinking “what the hell have you got yourself into?”, “Why am I doing this to myself again?”. The truth is, I know why, but when you’re living everyday feeling like utter crap you can’t help but question your decisions.

So, I’m 10 weeks going on 11 weeks and I’m due in mid July. I’m completely paranoid that something will go wrong – having the earlier ultrasound has done nothing to alleviate my fears. I’m hoping my 12 week scan on 7 January 2009 will do more for that. I truly want this baby and I’m worried that something will go wrong. There are no real signs of anything wrong but my stupid paranoia.

I’m sick although nothing like I was with Byron (It's probably more in line with how normal morning sickness should be - maybe a smidge worse). I’m proud to say that to date I’ve only had 4 sick days off work which given my history with both Byron (3 weeks total work non consecutive between 8 weeks and ceasing at 26 weeks) and Lily (ceasing work at 8 weeks on income protection insurance) is really good – well I think so. I had to fess up to work sooner then I wanted because with me, you never know what it’s going to be like from one day to the next. I always feel better when things are out in the open. I also got permanent with work now which after nearly two years is handy – not that it really means much but piece of mine I guess. My goal for work was to get to Christmas and my nearly 2 weeks off…which I can say I’ve done as best I can.

Feeling just plain blur has meant that I have completely lost my desire to blog and forget about my photography – I feel like if I never see my camera again it will be too soon. It’s probably a good thing that I won’t receive my new baby (the camera that is) until sometime next year because it would truly be an injustice for it to just sit in the box untouched. I actually have one client still waiting for her photos and I can’t bring myself to sit at the computer at home in the hot weather and do them. The passion is gone. I sure hope it comes back! In the meantime I’m not doing any favours for my business – sob! Sob!

It’s terrible to feel so crap and uninspired at this time of year. I really love Christmas and it’s our first in our new house plus my brother and his family have arrived. To top it off we are having Christmas breakfast and lunch at our place. I just can’t get into it!! I am yet to finish all my shopping and there is barely 2 days to Christmas. My festive mood is just nonexistent. Sigh. The best thing about being pregnant with my first two was that I never got to feel crap at this time of year – only joy with my new little additions.

There are some decent days so I’m really hoping to get past it and enjoy the next few days with my kidos. Speaking of kidos, there is so much to update you on. Lily is running around in undies – my special big girl!!!! She still isn’t out of the cot *blush* on account of me feeling so crap I just can’t get out to get her a big girl bed and remove all the baby furniture from her room. She’s happy enough though and sleeping perfectly fine. She’ll have to wait a little longer yet.

Byron is just so grown up….my beautiful big boy is such a help, especially at the moment. On the days I feel like crap he can get me ice and water. He can make a sandwich for himself and Lily. He can help Lily with things. Sigh. He’s so good.

We’ll there you have it, enough of my long ramblings. I have managed to blog a few entries prior to the sickness beginning and in between. You can read them here...they're much more exciting then this entry.

"And so it begins..."
"Could it be?"
Big Fat Positive...
Confirmation
Test #3
Sharing the journey
Six weeks!
It’s arrived!
Heartbeat.
Nasty Nine

In approximately 29 weeks I'll have my last precious bundle in my arms. I wonder what it will be????

I promise…

2008-12-14T11:18:00.000+10:00

There is a good reason for my *long* absence. In a few more days I’ll let you know – there’s just something I have to take care of first.

Nasty Nine

2008-12-12T15:52:00.001+10:00

Man I feel like crap. I had Wednesday and Thursday off work and today I have taken 3 Zofrans to no avail. They are simply NOT working!!!

Arrgh!

Now I know why I hate pregnancy so much. I really hate feeling like crap 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s just plain horrible knowing that I can’t even sleep it off – that tomorrow when I wake up I’ll be feeling the same.

Admittedly it’s not as bad as it was with Byron (which I would say for the most part is due to the $263.00 for box of 20 tablets) but it still sucks majorly. The thought of doing this for the next 30 weeks kills me.

Week nine, which I shall term nasty nine, has been notoriously bad with my pregnancies. Usually it is marked with a hospital visit or two. This time though, so far so good although I’m only a few days into it and judging by today things are only ramping up. Sigh.

I know this is my last pregnancy. My last baby - I feel it now.

And so...I can not wait to bid farewell forever to nasty nine!

Heartbeat.

2008-11-27T16:18:00.002+10:00

I’m such a worrier. I never even gave miscarriage a thought with Byron. It never entered my mind that something could go wrong. With this one I think about it all the time. Perhaps because I’ve had one before at 10 weeks…they say 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. If that’s the case, then I’ve had my share already. Right?!

My sickness seems to have kicked in a week earlier then it did with the other two. That culminating with my high HCG level of 19,500 at just over 6 weeks had me thinking that perhaps there is more then one in there. I’ve been dreaming about twins a lot lately. Not sure why. Maybe it’s a sign?

When I went to the doctors last week for my first official pregnancy visit I asked for a scan just to make sure there is only one and that it has a heartbeat.

Well today, I got reassurance that there was only one (is it weird that I would be a little disappointed with that – strange?) and there was a heartbeat measuring 122bpm. Trevor and I took Byron along today because he had a pre prep day at big school. It was special for him to see. He was excited. He thinks it’s a boy!!!

I was relieved to say the least about the heartbeat but then got all in a twist because they said it was measuring 6 weeks 3 days and I’m 7 weeks today – that’s 7 weeks!!!! I’m positive about dates – losing 4 days is just not possible especially at this early stage. Every day closer to the end is paramount. It sounds stupid but when you suffer as I have suffered in pregnancy you would understand - I cling to everyday gone and another day closer to feeling normal.

I’ve decided to stick with my dates because I know the dates provided are not possible. They say they can be out by a week at this early stage so I’m happy with sticking with a due date of 16 July 2009.

Please stay sticky little one. xxx

It’s arrived!

2008-11-21T12:56:00.002+10:00

It’s here.

I feel like crap.

I want to throw up.

I had to move my appointment with the doctor forward a week because I’m scared that things will get too out of control and I need my zofran!!!

So, my worry was for nothing. The dreaded sickness is here.

Please. Please. Please don’t stick around with a vengeance. I would be forever grateful.

Six weeks!

2008-11-20T19:20:00.003+10:00

I’m nervous that things aren’t going to go right. I’m nervous that things will end up like they did in my pregnancy after Byron. I suppose it’s only natural to be overly cautious.

It all seems to perfect. To easy.

I’m not feeling the slightest bit sick yet. That scares me. Although, if truth be told, I don’t think I was struck with the dreaded sickness until I was around 7 to 8 weeks pregnant with Byron and Lily. I just know that by 9 weeks with each of them I was visiting hospital for the first time! With the miscarriage I didn’t really get sick at all, which was an indication that things weren’t going so well.

So, it’s been two weeks since I did the last lot of tests. I made Trevor tonight go out and get me another. He thought it was ridiculous when I said get the three pack - "You already know you're pregnant!". Needless to say he came back with just one more test, just to appease me of course.

I did the test and one of the lines came up almost instantly. The other line was half the strength. I was scared. However, in comparing it with the other tests, it looks like it was the control line that came up faintly and the ‘you’re pregnant’ line came up darker – that’s what I’m telling myself anyway.

Sigh. I hate the uneasy feeling that stupid miscarriage has left me with. I will breathe so much easier when I get the dating ultra sound. Until then, I’ll just wait it out.

I just went shopping...

2008-11-18T19:34:00.002+10:00

They got in contact with me late last week – they told me I could go shopping at Canon – Woohoo! What a photographer’s dream. Yesterday I decided what it was I wanted to get. Well actually, I had spoken with Canon last week and decided that the Canon 5D MKII is what I’ll be getting. My new baby!!!

Isn’t she gorgeous?!

It’s funny though...and you’ll laugh at me...but $5,000.00 is simply not enough money when it comes to all the equipment I would like. Frankly, it barely scapes the surface! Well it got me the camera body (no lens) but if I had my way there would be at least five other major items on my list (mainly lenses) the cost of which I would hate to hazard a guess.

It’s expensive being a photographer.

Anyway, whilst I couldn’t get all the things I desired, I did get my number one desire...a new camera. After I took into account the $RRP of the 5D ($4,299.00) I was left with $700.00 to spend. It was know where near enough for a lens, although I could spend more if I wanted to - it would just mean that I had to chip in over the $5K amount, so I decided to steer clear of that department.

I have been more then frustrated on a number of occasions over the mere fact that I don’t have a little point and shoot camera; you know a little one that you can just chuck in your bag and run. So many times I’ve gone to functions and wished I had something a little more innocuous and easy to carry. What better thing to use my money for then to get me an itty bitty camera! In addition to the camera (cause it wasn’t $700) I decided to go for some underwater housing. Underwater housing isn’t cheap and most definitely something I wouldn’t ordinarily buy. I thought what the heck – not my money (Oh I love this feeling – guilt free shopping is fantabulous).

So there you have it...my winning prizes; my cameras. Don't you think 'gold' is appropriate in this situation - I promise I'm not gloating?

Sharing the journey

2008-11-17T19:15:00.002+10:00

I got the bestest news today. Really – its right up there as the greatest news I’ve had in ages.

My besty is pregnant!! It’s her first.

… and guess what?!

She’s due exactly a week before me. What are the odds? Her week falls on a Thursday just like mine. I knew she was trying. She didn’t realise I was trying as well. Well we know I wasn’t exactly trying but never the less, there’s something in it. Right?!

I ‘m so excited to be sharing the journey with someone close. With Byron I shared the journey with no one. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant and no one even came close to being pregnant with me, although I did have a friend that had a 9 month old. So, it was a lonely road, especially with the hyperemesis. Then there was Lily… a few of my friends were pregnant around the same time – 3 and 5 months behind, plus I had discovered the internet forum Essential Baby. That was definitely better then doing it alone.

However, I’ve never shared the journey with someone so close and to be so close in dates too – so cool!

Anyway, I do worry that it’s too perfect if you know what I mean but then again I think, how could it not have meant to be?

It’s only early days yet so I’m trying not to celebrate too much , especially with the miscarriage I’ve preciously suffered. But as time goes, and all progresses smoothly there’s no doubt I’ll get more excited about sharing the pregnancy journey with my besty but also sharing the parenting journey as well.

Toilet Training!

2008-11-12T20:34:00.003+10:00

I’ve been dreading it for months the whole toilet training thing. Lily has basically shown no interest to learn. I’ve suspected that she’d be a whole lot more trouble than Byron ever was with potty training.

A few weeks ago kindy decided it was time to get into action. They popped her in those terry toweling trainers (they remind me of the 70s). Aside from nap time, they would keep her in them all day long!

For the first week there were accidents - accident after accident. There were no successes to speak of. Not one. For this reason I didn’t try putting her in trainers when we came home from kindy. With dinner, baths and everything else I just didn’t have the energy to direct to that endeavor (naughty me). Plus every time I insinuated that she use the potty I was met with, “I don weeally like it”.

So, another week went by and there weren’t any successes to speak off.

I thought this was the pattern of the future. However, with this week has come some success. Slowly but surely things are falling into place. There have been less accidents – when I say less I mean not 9 but say 3 to 4. There has been potty action too. Lily did 3 wees on the potty yesterday and 4 the day before. And just in case you’re mistaken she’s more than happy to correct you and tell you all about her efforts – she’s so proud of herself!

Today, Grandma day, was the first day we did the ‘big girl’ undies (a.k.a terry friends) at home. Guess what?! I’ve been told there were no accidents but then again there were no successes during the course of the day either. She seemed to save it all for the nap time nappy.

When Trev and I came home from work Lily was all bathed and in her ‘undies’ - there’s nothing cuter then little toddler legs and cutie bum enclosed in big kid undies! It’s a new view compared to nappies and more nappies. Adorable!

So there was no success today but I am very excited to announce that this evening I managed to get Lily to do her first ever wee in the potty at home! Woohoo! It looks like we might be getting somewhere. That said, I have no doubt that number twos will be a whole other story. Stay tuned.

I WON!!!

2008-11-11T06:41:00.001+10:00

There I am...on the right. I'm the winner for the amateur section - bubbles!

WOOHOO!

Trevor, the sneaky blighter, found out that I won last night after midnight when one of my friends thought I was still on MSN. She urged him to go and look. Low and behold he saw that I had won. He toyed with waking me up but decided that I would probably be too excited to sleep so he let me sleep. Instead, his first words to me this morning were “Congratulations. You won!”. I jumped around to face him. I thought I was dreaming. How could little ol' me win a competition?!

I still can’t believe I’ve won. It’s so nice to win something that I actually want. If I won $5K there is just no way on this earth that I could justify spending it on a camera. No way. This way, I don’t have a choice. Therefore, no need to feel guilty – I win again! Woohoo!

OK…time to take a chill pill.

Test #3

2008-11-08T22:10:00.003+10:00

Ok, Ok, I think the odds are I’m pregnant. I was happy to see that today’s test (and yes it’s the last in the box of three) was a nice strong positive. Hopefully that’s a good sign that ‘it’ will be a sticky little baby. I want no repeats of my experience in between Byron and Lily!

(The last test is #3 !)

Men and Sport: the prequel

2008-11-08T19:45:00.001+10:00

As I sit here writing this entry, Byron sits in the TV room (commandeering the room as he seems to do a lot these days) watching the ROAR play – that’s Brisbane’s A-League soccer team if you weren’t aware. I can hear him calling out stuff to the TV; chatting to himself nervously waiting for them to score.

“Good try Roar...It went straight over the goal”

“Good Brisbane goal keeper”

“Why haven’t you scored yet?”

I didn’t realise it started so early – the whole men and sport thing. I mean the kid has been bugging me since 3:00pm – the time Trevor left to go to the game – to watch it... “Is it 7:00 yet?!”; “What time is it?!”; “Is the Roar on yet?!”

Arggh!

This isn’t the first time he’s been interested in watching the soccer either. For the last few weeks he’s wanted to watch anything soccer related. He wants to watch the women playing as well as the men. He wants to watch the Premier League as well (UK). I mean come on already...it’s getting ridiculous. The kids becoming a tad obsessed. And where does he get it from...one guess in that department.

I watch Byron watching Trevor and his reactions to the games. He literally copies Trevor's emotions; his mannerism; everything. Whatever Trevor says, he repeats – even those things he really shouldn’t be!!! I’ll give Trevor some credit though, he even thinks Byron’s a tad obsessed. He would rather watch Fox Sports sometimes then the kids’ channel. The other day he had some obscure sport on and we had to tell him to put it on the kids’ channel or turn it off. He obliged begrudging.

The last time we enrolled Byron in a sporting endeavour, aside from swimming, it didn’t go down to well. If it were now I think it would be a different story. If Byron kicking the ball around the house is evidence of anything, he’s ready.

I think the sooner we get him out there playing the game for real, the better it will be! Perhaps I'll get my TV back. He’ll have to wait til next year’s season though. It's too late this year. Plus, he’ll have to wait for us (sorry...Trevor) to decide which club Byron will play for.

God help me...it's half time and Byron's frustrated because no teams have scored yet...on that note, it's time for Byron to go to bed!

Confirmation

2008-11-06T21:03:00.003+10:00

I did another test this morning just to make sure last night’s wasn’t a mistake.

It wasn’t. I got another two lines today and they were a smidge darker. Looks like I’m pregnant!

It’s starting to sink in although I’m really scared of what’s to come. I’m incredibly scared of the sickness. Petrified in fact. I keep thinking how many good days I have left before I’m stuck with it. There’s no use thinking it’s not going to happen this time. It did for the first two, so odds are it will for this one. Eeekkkk! Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. I really want to get to Christmas (12 weeks) without people at work knowing. There are some things I want to sort out there before I want them knowing I’m pregnant. Plus, there are the financial worries like paying the mortgage. I can’t afford not to work...hence I can’t afford to get sick like I did with Byron and Lily.

I wanted to make an appointed with my GP as soon as possible to get some Zofran ready for when the onslaught begins but I couldn’t get into to see her until the 29th of November. I’ll be 7 weeks. I’m praying with all my mite that I’ll still be ok. Sigh. I’m so scared. Though I’m happy too. I just need to find the in between.

Big Fat Positive...

2008-11-05T22:37:00.003+10:00

It was meant to be a joke. Seriously, I only asked Trevor to pick up some pregnancy tests when he went to the shop just because. Just because I wanted to get it over and done with; that first test in the trying to conceive number three journey. Kind of like oiling the machine...get back into the action of peeing on the stick.

Never in my wildest dreams did I EVER image that I would look down at the stick tonight and see two pink lines. NEVER! However, when I did look down there they were staring back at me - definitely two pink lines, albeit the pregnancy line was lighter but not so light you would need a magnify glass to see it.

I sat staring at the stick for a whole minute thinking this can’t be possible – we weren’t trying. Then I remembered Trevor sitting out on the lounge. I walked out to him, laughing and carrying that stick. When I showed him the stick he laughed. He laughed a lot. I think he was in shock. I was too. I was laughing instead of crying. My legs felt like jelly and I literally didn’t think I could walk.

Part of me felt like ‘how could we be so stupid?’. It took me about an hour to get over the shock. Trevor too. He didn’t really say much which had me worried for a bit. I think he was hoping it would take a little bit longer (selfish reasons for him *wink wink*). The thing is, with trying to get pregnant with Byron and with Lily and the miscarriage in between, it never happened quickly – it took at good 3 to 4 months each time. We expected it would take that long with this one. Needless to say, we are pleasantly surprised.

So, it looks like I’m pregnant. I just Googled my due date. Seems I’ll be having a Cancer – due 16 July 2009. It’s uncanny but the age difference between Lily and this baby will be approximately 2 years and 11 months which is the same gap between Byron and Lily. Meant to be me thinks!!!

Famous...

2008-11-05T18:20:00.002+10:00

My simply adorable little niece is famous - well you don't get to appear on the cover of the David Jones Christmas catalogue with Megan Gale no less, if your not anything but.

Sigh. Isn't she just beautiful. She's the one centre stage on the front cover and also on the back.

I could just squish her all up!!!!

It must be hard to be that cute. Really it must.

OH MY GOD...I'm a finalist

2008-11-03T13:51:00.004+10:00

In the canon photo comp...

How in the world did that happen??? I've never won a thing in my life. EVER. Oh my goodness!!!

I could potentially win $5K worth of Canon equipement. Oh my god!

Please, please, please (if you're so minded of course) click on the link, head to the amateur "Bubbles" section, and look for my beautiful Byron blowing bubbles in the dusk light!!

I'll be forever grateful!!!!!

Here it is again...

Jumpty Jump!

2008-10-31T21:43:00.004+10:00

Lily is totally obessed with jumping at the moment. Ever since she learned how to get both feet off the ground at once she literally hasn't stopped jumping.

She loves to put on a show for anyone that will watch. She's so proud of herself. She doesn't just jump on the floor though - she'll take any surface. She LOVES our bed, the lounges, the trampoline - anything coushy and she's onto it. She knows she isn't aloud to do it but when you turn your back she's off again. Sigh.

We went to a party for Byron the other day at one of those play centres and there was a jumping castle. Lily was in her element and as you can imagine she was worn out come home time.

That girl seriously has so much energy.

(Click to see it bigger)

Could it be?

2008-10-31T21:14:00.006+10:00

TTWe might have played a little bit of Russian roulette this month, if you know what I mean. Part of me has been hoping for the past week that perhaps we might be lucky (or maybe it’s unlucky) this month. I secretly have my fingers crossed that the egg meets the sperm although sometimes I uncross them because I’m really not sure it would be the right decision for my family. Plus, surely it’s not possible since things weren’t ‘timed’ properly or not as they would be if we were trying properly.

What’s been making me wonder if it could be, are the dreams – they’re so vivid and real. For the last few days I’ve been having the most intense dreams. They’re so much more intense then they normally are. It’s like I’ve gone from tranquil dreams that I can’t remember in the morning to dreams so vivid I feel like I’ve literally been there and not asleep.

The funny thing is the dreams were the first indication that I was pregnant with Lily. So, I’m thinking that maybe it’s a sign that I could be pregnant. Maybe I’m just trying some wishful thinking. I don’t think I have any other signs out of the ordinary. Just the dreams!

I guess time will tell...maybe another week or so and I’ll know for sure. Either way, I'm swaying negative more then positive.

Sir Walter

2008-10-30T22:31:00.002+10:00

Isn't he beautiful? So lush. So green. So soft.

Is it possible to be in love with grass? If so, I am.

Sir Walter...I promise to honour you, mow you, water you and love you as long as we both shall live. xxx

It goes without saying that the kids LOVE their new grass...

About time...

2008-10-29T22:01:00.002+10:00

It's only been about 5 months and a few weeks (but who's counting)!

We are one day away from actually having grass. Now it's costing a pretty penny because Trevor and I aren't really great with 'green' things so it was best to pay someone to do it for us. At least it will be done properly.

Today we had the ground prepared because as you could imagine there was...umm...five months worth of weeds and crap - nothing the weed killer could possibly fix.

Byron was a mighty helper as always...he did the edges.

So, this time tomorrow we'll have grass. About time I say.

And so it begins...

2008-10-29T21:03:00.005+10:00

I’ve been yearning for another baby since Lily was born. It’s funny. My friends said to me that I should stop at Lily; that I have terrible pregnancies; that I have a pigeon pair; that I’m lucky for what I have but I didn’t think so – I mean I’m definitely lucky. That goes without saying. Just look at my little cherubs. They’re the greatest kids ever. Just because I’ve got those two though doesn’t mean I don’t want any more because I do. I want three. Always have and always will!

Today I headed to the chemist for the first important trip in our trying to conceive journey. We plan on trying in the coming months (although I secretly hope, which is probably not possible, that I can get pregnant sooner. Naughty huh?!).

We’ve been debating it for ages. Thing is, the decision rests on whether I get a permanent position with my job (I’m still on contract!). The longer it goes on though – the trying to get permanent - the more inclined I am to say “stuff it” (waiting for permanent that is – life’s to freakin short if you ask me. Anyway, that’s another entry).

So I picked up some pregnancy and birth/folate vitamins today. I keep forgetting that I need to take the folate. With Byron I was good but only for the first couple of weeks before the dreaded sickness kicked in. With Lily it was much the same. I wonder what good it does only consuming it for a few months? I know you’re supposed to take it for at least 12 weeks but I can never manage it. This time I hope to take it for as long as I can.

It’s a bit strange buying the folate. I meant, it feels like I’ve only just had Lily. Seriously though, she’s 2 years and 2 months already. We were well and truly on the trying to conceive journey for number two when Byron was that age – although we lost one at 10 weeks shortly there after. I don’t want to waste anymore time waiting around.

Anyway, I just wanted to make known the occasion...an occasion where we’ve officially decided we’re ‘nearly’ ready (it’s bloody scary) to increase our little family for one last time.

My Sleeping Angel

2008-10-26T20:18:00.006+10:00

My little cherub angel sleeping in her cot...it won’t be long before it's but a distant memory. It won’t be long before my little poppet is sleeping in her own big bed. A matter of weeks really is all.

(Look at those lips!!! Are they not the most kissable ever?!)

She's the picture of a sleeping angel in her baby bed, that is until she decides, using her cherub voice – or not so – to sing aloud at 5.30 in the morning. She's the angel no more. I really hope her new bed will curb her desire to call to attention all those in the house the moment she sees the sun shine through her window (NB - the sun doesn't seem to shine so bright on a Monday morning...it figures!).

A few more weeks and Lily will be my baby no more...Sigh.

Nouns

2008-10-24T19:46:00.004+10:00

Trevor and the kids picked me up at the bus station after work this afternoon. I’m really loving my ‘bus time’ at the moment – I’m currently engrossed in the Stephenie Meyer ‘Twighlight’ series books – I only have 60 odd pages to go of the final book (which is over 700 pages long) and I’m wishing it to never end. Of course I can’t stop reading so it’s bound to end by tomorrow. Sigh. Next to Harry Potter they’re my new favourites. Fantastic and I’d totally recommend them!!!

Anyway, my new favourite books are not the crux of this entry. It’s about my totally talented son! He’s a genius for sure – ok probably not Mensa material but he’s pretty damn smart. We were driving home and Trevor told me that Byron learnt some new things at kindy today and that he had something to tell me. Byron pipes up with “nouns are things”! To my shock, Byron’s discovered nouns – oh my gosh that boy is clever. I thought he was clever reading those little readers all by himself then he goes and discovers the foundations of grammar, and all before he’s even come close to hitting grade one (which does concern me a little but I’ll adopt the wait and see approach for prep).

He continued on with his discussion...

“A cup is a noun”
“A car is a noun”
“A clock is a noun”

Trevor turned to him and said “You’re such a clever boy Byron!” to which Lily turned around and said “No....he’s not a clever boy – he’s just a boy!”.

Byron even has his very own ‘Well Done’ certificate from kindy which says...

“Byron has started to learn about grammar. Today he learnt that nouns are the names of things”

Please Vote...

2008-10-23T20:24:00.005+10:00

Pretty Please give me a chance to win something. I mentioned previously about the Canon Photo Comp. I had to use a red ribbon, tea light candle, cocktail umbrella, green crayon and bubbles in some creative unique way - let me tell you I'm far from creative so these were really hard!!! I look at some of the other entries and think how the hell did they come up with that...talk about thinking outside the square. Mine are still kinda in the square - maybe top right corner.

Anyway, these are my entires. They're nothing special but I thought you have to be in it to win it right?! . I've attached the link to my images in the gallery (click on the object name) if you'd care to vote for me...

*getting down on my hands and knees to beg*.

1. My red ribbon entry:

Give Peace a Chance...

"Freedom from strife; freedom from time out; freedom to watch ScoobyDoo all day long and freedom to have as much chocolate as one desires...that's peace to my 5 year old. (red ribbon is in his head - symbolic of an era when peace was paramount)."

2. My caryon entry

"Mummy...I can see its eyes!"

"A crayon is unearthing to my two year old. To my five year old it's not so...it's much more than a mere crayon but often a crayon helps."

3. My cocktail umbrella entry"

Life Whirls By...Or Does It?

"When you're two, everything matters yet nothing's important. Life stands still. When you're an adult, everything matters and it's all important. Life whirls by. When I handed the umbrella to my two year old...she had no idea what it was. She wasn't hung up on trying to find out. She just liked how it could spin around in her chubby little hands and that's all she cared about."

4. My bubbles entry:

The simple pleasures...

"A warm Sunday afternoon and a pot of bubbles - what more does one five year old need?"

5. My tea light candle entry:

Mesmerising

"The candle is the object of his curiosity...mesmerising his thoughts (as much as one thing can to a five year old)."

It's all starting now...

2008-10-20T22:42:00.002+10:00

It’s really a matter of weeks now until Byron starts school. Well ok, perhaps not weeks...more like a few months. However long it is, there’s no doubt it will fly by.

It’s getting closer – that’s all that matters. This was evident today when Trev and I visited his soon to be school. We had our very first parent teacher interview (although I can’t be sure we’ll get the same teacher yet). Sigh. I wonder if it’ll be the first of many?

The school we’ve chosen for Byron is the same primary school I attended in my final year (we moved towards the end of my primary education). Walking through the court yard where we used to stand for parade was quite surreal. It felt like nothing had changed…from the old bench chairs to the hopscotch painted on the ground. It literally felt like I stepped back in time – 18 years past.

Don’t get me wrong…the centre of the school was like a page out of a history book but the school surrounds had changed a lot. There are now 5 prep classrooms, one big sandpit and a sweet little playground. My son will soon be playing in that sandpit, sliding down the slide and opening up a whole new world of learning in one of those five classrooms. A whole new world will be born for him in those school grounds and it all begins in just a few months.

I’m really excited about Prep but I’m nervous about the next chapter. Partly because it’s letting go of that dependant little person and partly because it means I’m getting older – I will be the mum of a school aged child!

Byron didn’t come along today…there will be more of that next month when we take him along for his first taste of prep. I can't wait...or can I???

Inspired!

2008-10-13T22:46:00.000+10:00

So I’m back!!!!

Man oh man did I have fun this weekend. It was everything I’d hoped it would be. Well worth the money and well worth my time! Jinky (aka Barb Uil) was an open book answering all questions and providing lots of inspiration along the way. It really was great to watch a super professional in action.

I feel very inspired to do better with my photography – not that I thought I was doing bad with it. I guess, it’s just that, I’ve been feeling a little flat. I’m having ‘style’ issues at the moment. Basically, I’m wondering whether I’ve actually got a distinct style with my photography – something that makes me unique. I’ve been told that I do but I just seem to have trouble seeing it myself. This weekend has made me yean to discover a little bit more about what I have to offer!

I know the type of photography I’m interested in taking or the style I kinda fancy, but sometimes I just find I'm not connecting or bringing that style to fruition. The photos are ok and parents love them, but sometimes I feel like I wish I did better or did things differently. Hopefully after this weekend I’ll be able to step outside the box and connect with my sense of style a little easier!

On a different note, I enjoyed getting away. Work has been so crazy at the moment and it really was nice to have a longish weekend.

So anyway, I’m back to reality now – back to the grind and back to my ‘real’ job tomorrow. Sigh.

I broke my promise...

2008-10-08T21:11:00.000+10:00

To keep you updated.

Sigh.

If truth be told I've had the most terrible experience with internet. When we moved we were no longer able to get ADSL, which is absolutely painful - apparently we live too far from the exchange...what the!? It's not like we moved out to the sticks. We're 20 mins from the city for crying out loud.

So, aside from dial-up our only option is wireless. And so far...wireless has proven the bone of my contention. I hate it. I could tear my hair out over it. I hate our provider. It has gotten so bad that today I've had to go and find myself another provider.

Fingers crossed, the new internet seems to be working, although it does cut out every little bit which I suspect is just the nature of wireless. I have a 7 day trial of coverage to decide if it's for us. The thing is, I'm off to Canberra on Friday morning for my Jinky photography workshop *YAY* and I'm not here to test it out.

Please, please, please cross your fingers that we'll finally be back to civilisation because having no internet is causing me some serious grief.

Once I'm back on board...I will try my very hardest to get my entries where they should be.

Talk soon
xxx

A session with MY kids!

2008-09-28T22:57:00.000+10:00

I know, I know...I still haven't finished the birthday entries for Byron, but I will add them shortly...I'm still working on them - they have to be just so.

In the meantime, I’m doing photographic sessions for everyone else these days that I never really get to do a ‘session’ with my kids. I mean I get lots of shots here and there but nothing more then a few.

I set out this afternoon with the view to getting some great shot of the kids. I wanted some great portraits for my big, blank, boring white wall.

I plan on getting 3 big canvases – One of Lily, one of Byron and one of them together (bet you can't guess which ones). I can’t wait to order them. Finally, I’ll have something less blank to stare at. How very exciting.

I'll be sure to share when they're hanging on my wall!

Byron's cake reveal...

2008-09-26T21:50:00.004+10:00

Oh! Oh! Oh! Tomorrow Byron turns five!!!

*gasp*

I’ve spent today doing my motherly duties – baking away in preparation for his party tomorrow. On a side note, not only did I make him car cookies, bake his cake, ice his cake, organise his party but I got all my hair chopped off too – yep all of it. Oh my do I feel naked. It’s just above my shoulders now and layered. I just got sick of having 'no style' with my longer hair so I opted for something you could say was more 'hip'.

Anyway, I digress…I’ve just finished the cake and now it’s time for the reveal…

Treasure Island! It literally is full of little bits of treasure – not ‘real’ treasure, or at least not treasure to me but treasure to Byron. Hmmm, I suppose it’s hard to tell a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds that M&Ms are not treasure, so I guess treasure it is. I can’t wait to see his face upon sighting my *cough, cough* masterpiece.

Off to wrap his presents ready for his big day!

Happy Anniversary to me...

2008-09-21T21:56:00.001+10:00

It’s Trevor and my anniversary today. Six years since we got married!

WOW!!!

We aren’t very big anniversary celebrators around here which, when I think about it, is pretty poor. We don’t have any traditions and we’ve never really done anything, aside for perhaps dinner, to celebrate when we got married. We did cards initially (never gifts) but that kind of died towards the third anniversary.

I’m thinking maybe it stems from me being 39 weeks pregnant on our first one.

Perhaps though that’s just an excuse…we’re just slack and oh I married a man that is without a doubt the worst gift shopper and a hopeless romantic who couldn’t organise anything! Is that a bit harsh? I suppose I should accept some responsibility in that department. I guess it’s just that I’m kind of a traditionalist – you know, that the man be all romantic and organise something amazing. I’m living in a dream world still. You would think that after 6 (or sorry 10) years I would realise that the man I married is none of the above.

He may not be any of the above but he is other things. He is handsome. He is quick witted and funny. He is emotional. He is the BEST father. He loves me. He is my BEST friend and companion. He is My Husband. 98% of the time that makes up for him not being a romantic or forthright, but then there is still the 2% when it does, but hey, we can’t all be happy!

Today we dropped the kids off at my sisters and went out for lunch. Honestly, it was just lunch but it was nice to rid the kids for a few hours and head out. We stopped into see little miss Alivia – oh my she was sweet…I really need to keep away from those newborns; I‘m way too clucky – then it was off to lunch. After lunch we went to Kmart to pick up Byron’s birthday presents, or at least that’s what I thought would happen. You see, Kmart had apparently sent my layby off site accidently with all the Christmas laybys. I WAS NOT HAPPY! Thank god I decided to go and pick them up today instead of Thursday otherwise it would have been to late to do anything and there would have been no hope to get them by Saturday. Apparently, they'll be instore by Friday! Arrggh!!! I'm still so mad though.

Tonight was an exciting night! I gave Byron the Women’s Weekly Birthday Cake book and said ‘pick whatever you want’ (secretly hoping that it wouldn’t be the rocket or the castle because, whilst I'm having Friday off work, I need the day for other things aside from spending 8 hours making a cake). I sat next to him as he painstakingly examined every page of the 215 page edition. He critiqued every cake… “I’m not having a Barbie cake” or “Is that Jelly”. “That’s cool”. “That’s too scary”. In the end I was secretly happy with his pick – it was one that I was hoping he would pick. It’s easy and versatile!

So that’s it for today – it’s not roses and chocolates and romantic days out but it was a fulfilling day none the less.

Happy Anniversary to me!

Dandelions

2008-09-20T22:14:00.002+10:00

Byron is helping me with some entries I plan on doing for a Photo Competition. And lets face it, I’ll need all the help I can get (hint, hint – if you can think of any cool, original ideas to use (separately in a photo) a red ribbon, tea light, candle, cocktail umbrella and a green crayon, I’m all ears. Pweeeeaaassseee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Anyway, we were scouring the back yard for a lady beetle, caterpillar or bug of any kind but do you think we could find any? Nope. Well actually I spotted a lady bug but she flew away before I had the change to go in for the catch. Drat! So, after half an hour, we moved on to some other fun stuff – Dandelions!

Byron loved picking them up and blowing them so I thought what the heck, I won’t get any entries for the competition but I’ll get some cute pics and that I did….

Our grassless, weed filled backyard can prove useful and fun in some departments. We managed to pick every remaining Dandelion before Trevor came in for the kill – with the mower of course (and I’m referring to the weeds, not us!).

Easy Saturday...

2008-09-20T19:33:00.008+10:00

I’m so happy that this weekend is ‘vacant’ - I don’t really have anything on. By anything I mean a photo session, party etc – you know those weekends where things are just kind of booked up and before you know it, it is Sunday night and the dreaded Monday comes next. I’ve had so many of those lately (next week is one of them again).

There are still a few scheduled events like swimming today, plus Byron had a birthday party but other then that, my Saturday is free! Speaking of swimming, I tagged along today – Trevor is the new swimming parent – for the first time this season. Byron’s been back swimming for 3 weeks and Lily 2 (thanks to the dreaded gastro she had). I thought Lily would be a little bemused by the whole thing, especially considering her bath antics over the last few months (which are getting MUCH better these days – she will often sit but that isn’t guaranteed) but she seems to love it. She got so excited over all the little details this morning, like her new swimmers and her towel. Her new favourite catch phrase after swimming is “I splashed around”. It's so cute when she says it...moving her hands in a splash like action.

Byron is slowly but surely getting much better with his swimming. He’s at the point where I wouldn’t worry that he might drown if he fell in a pool. It’s safe to say he could get to the other side. He is more learning technique now – how to breathe when doing freestyle and stuff like that.

I love easy Saturdays...I wish there were more!

Of course, it goes without saying that I took my camera along for some photo action.

Oh! Oh!...just on another note, one of my dear friends gave birth to a little girl Alivia Cate 9lbs 4oz this morning. She has a little Boy a bit older then Lily so I'm really excited she has a girl - they are so, so fun! Off to visit her tomorrow. Sigh. I bet I get even more clucky then I already am.

“Not Nice!”

2008-09-19T21:21:00.001+10:00

Lily has a new catch phrase. It comes in many tones.

There is the “Not Nice” version said in a somewhat normal tone, sometimes slightly elevated. It usually occurrs when she is eaggravated by something you may have done and/or not done.

Then, there is the “Not NICE!” version usually expressed in an aggravated, elevated tone when something doesn’t go her way.

Finally, we have the “NOT N-I-C-E!!!!!” version commonly bellowed at the top of her lungs with some accompanying finger pointing action whenever she is felt hard done by. Now generally, she feels hard done by when she doesn’t get her own way or gets in trouble.

Miss Lily, my placid little pie, is getting a little attitude me thinks. Anyone would think she was 7 not 2.

She’s not always as pretty as a picture…

Yellow. Red. Orange.

2008-09-17T20:24:00.002+10:00

In a matter of days Lily has literally learnt her colours. It’s like someone swiped those colour goggles of her eyes that were making her ‘colour blind’ and away she went. Every thing has a colour – like the pink plate; the purple singlet; the blue one; the yellow one. She just loves her colours.

She has many toys but one of her favourites is a Fisher Price pig money box. She sits on the lounge, opens the flap, takes the money out and proceeds to resight the colour of each coin over and over and over again – “The blue one. The Green one. Yellow. Red. Orange.” She pops them all back in the money box to start all over.

At the moment pink seems to be the flavour of the month. I’m not sure if that will change but if she’s anything like my niece, who will only wear pink, I suspect not.

I can already see the typical girl traits coming through – like her favourite colours and what she likes to wear. I suppose it will only get worse in the coming years. Eeekkk!

So there you have it…Lily can sing a rainbow now – she knows all the colours!

Report Card Time

2008-09-15T20:52:00.005+10:00

Disclaimer – this is one of my must blog entries from…ummm…a month or so ago. I’ve been carrying Byron’s little Mid-Year Report around for ages in the hope that I might get a chance (god knows what I was thinking) to record its contents. I guess it’s better late then never, so here it is.

If a preschooler’s report card was capable of containing straight ‘As’ then no doubt Byron’s would be it. He is the smartest little cookie going around town and I have proof!!!

His Mid-Year Report card, which proudly sits beside me as I type, has what could only be akin to straight ‘As’. Ok, admittedly I may be somewhat extending the truth some, but he is consistent and achieving all that a four year old can possibly do in his pre-academic year. If ‘U’ (for usually) is the highest ‘grade’ going around Montessori then Byron’s ‘the man’ for he has achieved the pinnacle of what preschool has to offer. He has achieved straight ‘Us’.

The grading (opps…reporting) criteria is made of the ‘usually’, ‘sometimes’ and ‘with help’. So, it’s safe to say Byron is usually doing what he is supposed to. I don’t suppose there is a preschooler in the land that could attain the illustrious status of 'always' – at least not any I’ve met.

Byron USUALLY really enjoys:

• Dramatic play
• Blocks
• Puzzles
• Sandpit
• Climbing
• Games
• Books/stories
• Collage
• Painting
• Drawing
• Music

He USUALLY follows the rules and listens when others speak.

He USUALLY looks after his belongings and is happy at kindy.

He USUALLY shares an idea with someone else and says please, thankyou and excuse me.

He USUALLY helps at tidy up time; helps his teacher; and helps a friend. He has made lots of friends.

He USUALLY tries hard to share things.

In terms of Byron’s Montessori skills he has ‘Attained’:

• Work to 10 - maths
• Work to 1000 - maths
• Colour work - sensorial
• Textures - sensorial
• Sound - sensorial
• Taste - sensorial
• Sounds - sensorial
• 3 letter phonetic words – beginning reading
• 4 letter phonetic words – beginning reading

He is ‘Progressing’ with:

• work to 9999 - maths
• addition - maths
• subtraction - maths
• time - maths
• visual work - sensorial
• shapes - sensorial
• mass - sensorial
• grammar – beginning reading
• beginning reading – beginning reading
• phonetic farm – beginning reading

According to his teacher, “Byron has made excellent progress this year. He is always interested, motivated and exited to learn”.

Byron has truly come out of his shell this year. I was terribly worried about his concentration levels and his in ability to focus. But, with a change of rooms and teacher he has truly blossomed and I just love watching him learn. I love how he sounds out the letters and tries to read what ever he can, when ever he can. He is a sponge sucking it all up. It’s so exciting to be a part of.

So, only one more Montessori report card to go and then my little guy is off to school; big school. Sigh.

I’m just so proud of my little gorgeous, pumpkin pie!

My big catch up

2008-09-14T10:24:00.003+10:00

I’m totally struggling with my work, photography, mothering, pleasurable, blog lifestyle balance at the moment. I just don’t seem to have enough hours in the day to do much of anything but work and photos. Argghhh! My fault of course - way too much on my plate. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m doing it to myself.

Take this week for example. I worked a five day week at my real job as always. Yesterday, I second shot a fancy wedding that took me away from the house and kids for pretty much the whole day and all for a hundred bucks (never again – once is enough - no weddings for me anytime soon. Yesterday’s experience sealed the deal in that department – I was totally exhausted when I got home). This afternoon, I have a portrait session with three kids and a newborn, which I have no doubt will be a full on experience – but that’s the kind of experience I love. Then when I get home, I have to prepare for a work settlement conference tomorrow morning – there is another few hours gone.

Talk about a pleasurable weekend!

I really am struggling with everything. Something has to give and I just hope that it can be a day in my ‘real’ job because that is probably (ok it is) my least favourite thing to do. It’s not that I hate my job or anything. I just hate working full time! I hate that I have to commute up to an hour and half each way (that includes dropping and picking up the kids) - 2 to 3 hours per day!

I am hoping to cut back to four days very soon but I am just waiting for Trevor’s stupid work to sort out his damn pay – that is a whole other story that I just don’t have time to pen. Sigh. Story of my life in the blog world huh?! I have so much that I need to talk about…the list just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I want to blog it all because these are my memories and I want to share them with my children at some point in the future. It disappoints me that I’m so far behind. My list includes (naming a few):

1. The sale of the house way back on 18 August went through. Wooohoooo! Let me tell you that at 3:05pm when I got the phone call that all had gone well I let out one big sigh. Finally, after god knows how long, we would have some relief financially; no longer paying two mortgages and personal loans and credit cards. What a relief.

2. The fence. We managed to get our fence erected on the 21st of August. Might I add, it’s a mighty fine looking fence too. Although, I wish it matched our house a little more. You see, it’s the same fence as everyone else has – it’s cream with navy trim. Not exactly the colours I would have chosen. Oh well. At least the kids are now trapped safely in the yard by 2 meters of colourbond.

3. The front garden. It took Trevor and I four hours on Saturday (23 August) to dig the front two gardens. We had to dig through clay. Oh my god did I feel it in my shoulders and every aching muscle in my body that night. On Sunday I (read - NO TREVOR who decided to play football and then go and watch it) organised the garden. I got the edging. I got the plants (which included some Lillipillies and Tiny Trevs he he he). I dug the holes. I planted the plants. I did it all. I was so proud of my self hosing it down at sundown. Hard bloody work but so worth while to see the end product!

4. Grandma day. I’ll get to that one soon enough – every Wednesday is Grandma day.

5. Byron. You might have noticed that it’s been a little light on in the Byron department lately. His antics will get their own special attention shortly. Can I just say though…he is reading. My boy is reading those little readers. Sigh. He is just the cleverest, handsomest, darlingest little guy around!

6. Lily. There is still more I need to add about her. She is a crack up!

7. Me. Sigh. So much to say about me. My feelings and my fun.

I hope to, from now on, get back to my daily (ok maybe second daily) blog posts; if only for me. It’s my outlet and perhaps I’m just bottling too much up at the moment. No outlet to speak of really. I always feel so good when I have managed to document something for future prosperity. Otherwise, the something just gets lost into the abyss of the past, compounded by the present, until it is all but a distant, faint memory.

So, it’s a deal. I’ll be back tomorrow night talking about something!

More Photos

2008-08-30T20:35:00.000+10:00

We met with a group of photographers this afternoon in the hope of getting some family shots taken down the Coast at the beach.

It was bloody windy to say the least and Lily didn’t really want a bar of it because (1) there were no M&Ms and (2) she hardly slept because we were rushing around today. She looked so darn cute too. Sigh. I was hoping to get some other photographers to take some shots of her but alas it didn’t happen.

I personally hate having my photo taken but I am hopeful that we got something out of the session which I’d be happy to put on the walls. I’ll share in due course – when I get to see the outcome. In the meantime, here are a few I took of the kids…

And one that I'm happy with as I never seem to be able to caputre the kids together, despite my efforts....

Party Time...

2008-08-30T20:03:00.001+10:00

We had a little party – just a little one – for Lily this year. Nothing fancy, I mean we don’t even have any grass yet! We have a fence of course, but no grass – its coming!

Anyway I digress; she had a few little friends over for morning tea. There was Ella, Sarah, Cody, Alex, Grace, Noah and Suliman. Not to mention Byron and Lily, some parents and few other ‘siblings’ to boot.

I made cupcakes, fairy wand biscuits, and fairy bread. There was fruit, lollies and chips as well as ‘healthy’ pop top juice things for the kids.

My Lily is such a piggy. She sat at her table, with her little friend Ella, and literally ate for half the party. If she wasn’t eating or roaming the food table she was jumping on the jumping castle. I thought for sure I would be seeing a whole lot more of ‘that’ food if she kept on with the jumping. Thankfully I was lucky in that department. Phew! We all know how much I HATE vomit.

After all was said and done, the children went home and Lily had a long sleep – that was of course after I wrangled a packet of lollies out of her fingers that she somehow nabbed from a party bag. That girl and food...sometimes I wonder.

I was a little disappointed with the photos I took...there weren't many. Sigh. Maybe next year. There was however one corker which will make it out for the 21st. Can you spot which one that might be?

This years cake...

2008-08-30T08:24:00.001+10:00

It doesn't matter how busy I get, there is absolutely no way I couldn't NOT make my kids a birthday cake. I started the trend 'last' year (wherein I made a total of 4 cakes - 2 for each child) and I would be a complete failure if I didn't successfully keep it going for at least two years in a row, now wouldn't I?!.

I love the sense of accomplishment with seeing the final product. I'll admit this year I opted for a more simple design because I left the run too late. Hey, Lily's two - she won't remember. I'll pull out all the stops next year.

So this years cake for Lily is a ladybeetle. I love ladybeetles....

A letter to my daughter...

2008-08-28T21:56:00.002+10:00

My Dearest Lily,

Another year passes and now you are two. It’s been two whole years since you were born and life with you in it has been a blur – a good blur, but a blur none the less. It’s been one year, in fact, since I wrote you last. Where did we leave off last year?

You were just one – still a baby and not quite a toddler. You were my little baby. Over the course of the last 12 months and much to my dismay (I will explain that further) my baby disappeared and my toddler emerged. It took me some time to get a grip on the fact you were growing up. After Byron grew so fast, I tried to savour all that babyhood had to offer. Still though, it went much faster than I anticipated and before I knew it you were running around, talking like there was no tomorrow – well and truly on your child hood journey.

Just after your first birthday, two months in fact, you learned to walk; a little slower off the mark then your brother, but you got there in the end. It wasn’t long before you were running. Around that same time you also started to talk. Again, you were much slower off the mark with the talking then your brother. I honestly thought it wouldn’t be possible for a child to talk as much as Byron did but you surprised me in that department, really taking off with your talking in the past few months. So much so, that I can carry on a conversation with you now.

Speaking of Byron, you and your brother have such a precious relationship. Now that you’re getting bigger I’m really watching a new side to the way you play together and communicate. He loves you dearly you know, more than I ever thought a brother could. When he walks past he often pats your head without even realizing he’s doing it – like a reflex. It is so very sweet although sometimes it annoys me because it messes up your hair or makes you aware that you have something in your hair, which then leads you to wreck it yourself. It’s taken me nearly 2 years to get your hair to a stage where I can actually do something with it. You can wear ‘antennas’ and clips now. Headbands look really cute but you won’t leave them in for more than 10 seconds! I’m hoping that changes this coming year.

I was worried about your love of, or lack thereof, for stories. For a while there you hated having me or your dad read you a story. You just wouldn’t sit still long enough to turn the first page. It was frustrating to say the least. This went on for quite a few months until one day, I can’t be sure when, you just started to love books. You had your favourites and by favourites I mean you wouldn’t let us read any other stories but a certain few books.

Now, these days you are more diverse with your book selections, although you still have your favourites…Wiggles books are your most preferred. In fact, you just plain love anything Wiggles! You ‘made’ me pay an extra $1 for wipes the other day just because you saw they had the Wiggles on them and once you saw that there was simply no way I could get away with the plain boring green ones. That’s a lie – perhaps if I just let you scream the place down I could have left the shop. Sometimes though, you just have this way with getting what you want. Sigh. I’m working on that. As soon as I can get you to stop giving me the eye whilst simultaneously saying in the sweetest little voice “peeease mummy, peeease”, I think I might have a better chance at success.

While we are on the topic of reading, one of the sweetest sounds I love to hear is the sound of you reading when you think no one is watching. I love it when you wander off to read some stories in your room and I walk past to see you sitting on the floor, a mountain of books beside you, flicking the pages of an upside-down, back-to-front, book and talking as you go always saying “tee end” when you’re at the last page. You’re such a book worm.

I never ceased to be amazed at the rate you have learned things this year. I feel silly now worrying that you weren’t walking or that you weren’t talking like I was used to. To think that 12 months ago you were a baby and now you are a toddler, really does make me proud. I’m proud of your generosity; your sense of humour and your sense of style (no kidding –you have your own style objecting loudly when I try to put certain clothes and shoes on preferring your favourites. I’ll be honest, I can’t stand your favourite shoes of the moment - they are light up plastic sneakers from China that Nanna got you on her last visit. Yucko! They do nothing for your clothes. I can’t wait until you grow out of them or they accidently get lost in the rubbish bin!!!).

I, as I know your daddy does, get the greatest pleasure out of your sweet kisses and your scrumptious cuddles. The way you tenderly touch each side of my face with your little hands makes my heart sing. The way you pucker your lips and ‘mmmmwwaaa’ before your kiss actually graces my cheeks is enough to turn my bad day into a brilliant one.

I look at you and still, after two years, can’t believe I have a little girl. You are most certainly sugar and spice and all things nice. You are mine and I’ll be eternally grateful you are here with me.

On this your second birthday I wish you a happy, delightfully fun filled, journey of love and discovery to your third birthday and beyond.

Love and kisses forever...

Your mummy
xxx

In the evening...

2008-08-28T20:53:00.001+10:00

While we were waiting for Nanna to come over this afternoon for birthday wishes, we had a little tea party with Lily's new tea set. We all sat on the floor, including Trevor and we had our very first ever tea party. Byron and Lily thought it was great fun!

Not long after we finished our 'tea' Nanna arrived bearing gifts!

Nanna bathed the kids (my least favourite activity after work) which was fantastic. We had dinner, sausages and vegeables (the kids favourite), Gran (my step mum) came around to visit too and then we had cake...

After we had cake, there was a knock at the door. Guess what...there was more cake. How sweet of our new neighbours to remember Lily's birthday. They came around with a little pink cupcake (and a blue one for Byron) with candles and all.

She felt so special.

After more cake, the kids went to bed and I couldn't help but take a picture of the little angels figures mum had placed on Lily's cake...(for fun of course).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY!

2008-08-28T09:00:00.003+10:00

Happy Birthday my sweet Lily!

We didn't get a chance to play much this morning because being a Thursday it was a work day. Sigh. There was enough time however for Liy to open her presents - that said, there wasn't much time for her to play with them. Speaking of presents, I must admit I was pretty good this year. I normally spoil my kids rotten but I'm trying to tone that down some and think I did pretty well with Lily this year. I only gave her four things this year.

Lily got a Dorothy the Dinasour, Fisher Price Tea Set, plate set with drink bottle and Fisher Price My First Doll House.

She had fun opening all her presents, Byron in tow. Funnily enough, her favourite thing was the Disney Princess drink bottle with a Dorothy coming in a close second.

Tonight we will have all the fun...there will be cake!

As I watched her sleep…

2008-08-27T22:34:00.002+10:00

As I watched her sleep in her favourite ‘dolly’ pyjamas, I couldn’t help but ponder where time had gone. It literally feels like yesterday I was lying in the deliver room, gel inserted, mild contractions annoying the bejesus out of me. It feels like yesterday where the anticipation to meet my little Lily was so intense I thought I was going to burst.

Two years have passed in a blur and now, I wait with anticipation for my princess, my real life princess, to wake two years old.

As I watched her sleep for the last time as a one year old I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. It won’t be long before the dummy is gone; the cot has made way for a big girl bed, and that baby face will be but a mere shadow of its former self. Sigh. Why do they grow so fast?

As I watched her sleep I thought about how she’ll grow up. I thought about her tenacity and strong will. I thought about her cheeky persona. I thought about her first haircut; first day of school and her first sleepover. As I watched her sleep I thought about a lot of things.

So my baby girl is growing older. Honestly, I really can’t wait to see what she becomes. Watching Byron grow has been such a pleasure and I can’t help thinking that the journey of Lily will be just as pleasurable.

As I watched her sleep I pictured those chubby little hands devouring not one but two of the baby cakes I made for her to take to kindy – to celebrate her birthday!

Tomorrow

2008-08-27T00:00:00.001+10:00

I’ve made time (in my lunch break at work no less) to pop in and say,

OH. MY. GOSH. Lily turns 2 tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eeeeekkkkkkk!!!!

When asked what tomorrow is, Lily says, “It’s my birthday” all the while proudly patting herself on her chest. When asked how old she will turn, she says, “two” all the while trying to hold up two fingers, without them all following along for the ride. Awwhh. My baby girl is growing up so fast. Sigh. I could just eat her all up.

Only 27.5 hours to go!!!

(I have a running tally of no less then nine past blog entries that I must write so you will see them popping up every now and then – that is when I find some more of my most precious commodity – time. Sigh.)

Happy Birthday Trevor

2008-08-22T21:33:00.000+10:00

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Trevor,
Happy Birthday to you!!!!

So, it was Trevor’s birthday today. He’s 31. I can scarcely believe he’s that old. I mean where in the heck does time go? He doesn’t look a day over 28.

We didn’t do a lot today. It’s a work day, so there isn’t much option to do more then go to work. The kids however did enjoy giving him his gifts this morning. I was rather proud of my gift – I got him a ‘man bag’. Since he has started his new job he needs to carry ‘stuff’ (what ever that may be) with him on the bus and to date he has been using an old backpack. I thought it was time for a change and got him a JAG bag. I’m the best gift buyer if I do say so myself!

I remember one year Trevor balking at a terry towelling dressing gown (a nice one from David Jones) that I bought him for Christmas. He was so not impressed. That was about 5 years ago now and he practically wears the thing everyday…and he has since conceded it was a great gift (which I knew it was).

Enough about gifts and more about his birthday...we decided to take the kids out for dinner and head out as a family – just us and the kids. We have hardly ever done this. We stay well clear of restaurants these days. Lily is getting a little older now and she does love her food so we thought we would give it a go.

We ended up just going to an Irish pub – nothing fancy. It was the first time Lily had to sit and wait for her dinner to come. It went ok and for that I probably have to thank the KENO forms and the little pencils that were on the table. They were a great amuser for both Byron and Lily. Heck, we might even try going out to dinner again some time – dinner that doesn’t include IKEA or Sizzlers.

Anyway, happy birthday Trev. Looking forward to celebrating many more although the thought of that is scary…it means we are getting older. Eeeek!

Just some pics of the kids giving Daddy a birthday cuddle (and kiss)...

I promise...

2008-08-20T07:52:00.001+10:00

I'll be back soon. I've just been so busy at the moment and my internet at home is less then I desire plus with the olypmics I've been preoccupied. Time - I need more time!

There is so, so, so much I need to say.

Hmmm, does anyone care really?!

"Cherubic"

2008-08-11T20:16:00.000+10:00

cher·u·bic - having a sweet nature befitting an angel or cherub...

Simply Lily!

More Lollypop Madness

2008-08-11T19:23:00.002+10:00

There was a break in the weather today in Adelaide. Woohooo! No rain today albeit the weather is still freezing. So cold for a Queenslander.

Karen and I took this opportunity to get some photos of the kids in some really fun places. Right near Karen's place there is an old train station platform that is burnt out. It's a photographer's dream. There is texture everywhere. In fact, Adelaide - or where Karen lives - is a photographer's dream. Everywhere I look there are green fields, old buildings, dirt roads. Sigh. I'd love all that around me.

I know I've done it a few times before but honestly lollypops are sooooo much fun. What's not to love about them? They are colourful and yummy. Plus, the reason they are a photographer's prop of choice is that they make (or entice) kids to sit still. The colours of the lollypops, coupled with the texture of the old platform made for some great photos! Of course, gorgeous children made them perfect!

It's so cold...

2008-08-09T21:08:00.002+10:00

...can't I just go out and play for a minute?

Maybe I'll just stay inside for presents...(courtesy of Karen).

And just because...

Lilyisms are born...

2008-08-09T17:58:00.002+10:00

For those that have read my blog for a fair while would know about Byron and his incredible knack with communication. Ever since I can remember he has always been so eloquent with his words. Honestly, the kid was a freak and I seriously don’t mean that as an off the cuff statement - at barely two the child could carry out a conversation with adults and children alike.

I thought there would be no way my second child could communicate on the same level as Byron because honestly, he was not ‘normal’. Plus I had heard that second children tend to take longer to speak so I wasn’t expecting much from Lily.

She started off slowly. Sure she said words after 12 months but she didn’t really say much more – that was until now, or possibly early but the extent to which I never really noticed until today. It’s kinda sad really that I never noticed the level with which she spoke…I suppose I’ve just taken it for granted.

It’s honestly mind blowing! Lily’s communication skills truly rival those of Byron at the same age. 95% of the time she can express, quite coherently (for anyone not just mummy), exactly what she wants. She can carry on a little discussion with you. She can talk about what she sees; the things she likes, and the things she doesn’t. She can communicate on so many levels that it’s rather scary, especially considering she isn’t even two yet.

Byron, as big brother, has certainly rubbed some of his charm off onto Lily. For the most part I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he too doesn’t have an off switch and that often the only person who will listen when he speaks is Lily.

There are so many examples that I want to write about but honestly there is too much to write. I can’t keep up with her. She never shuts up. She’s constantly talking to herself and to anyone who will listen. She repeats almost everything you say to her in true ‘parrot like’ fashion. I do however have one example, which brings me to my very first Lilyism (how exciting!).

Lilyism

Lily in her current form was repeating anything and everything I was saying. I said “Lily you are such a parrot”. She responded, “I’m not a parrot, I’m a girl!”
I seriously haven’t laughed that hard in a long while.

Take off!

2008-08-09T11:32:00.003+10:00

Have you ever been the last one to board a flight and consequently have them call out your name over the loud speaker? Gosh it’s embarrassing to say the least. I suppose the whole plane journey started off badly, so it was to be expected I guess.

Bloody Jetstar and their baggage allowance. How the heck do they suppose one mummy can pack for both herself and her toddler, in the middle of winter, in under 20 kgs? It’s honestly not possible. Especially when it’s bloody 8C? So when it came time to check my baggage I guess it was no surprise when it was 9 kgs over the limit or $90 in money terms. To cut a long story short, so long as I could carry one of the bags (which was just above hand luggage size and about 5 kgs) on the flight (along with my camera bag, Lily’s bag and Lily) she would waive the excess 4Kg. Oh how kind of her.

So we checked in fine and then decided we would get something to eat. Apparently we cut a fine line hence the page. It was not a pretty sight seeing me running for the plane with Byron in tow, Trevor tagging along with Lily. We made it – everyone else had boarded – and I had to manage with Lily and my 3 bags all on my lonesome. The damn hostesses could only watch as I struggled to get to my seat and then try and maneuver the bags into the overhead cabin, while all the other passengers were watching. But wait, the embarrassment doesn’t end there…Lily and I were positioned between two big guys so it was honestly too much of a struggle to try and get to that seat so I ended up sitting in the spare isle seat in the next row which I just so happened to find out, in the middle of the emergency exit training no less, that I couldn’t sit there and that I would have to move a few rows back. Talk about embarrassing. It was a relief when the plane finally took off.

The experience with Lily wasn’t too bad. She was generally pretty good. In typical toddler style though, she started to muck up in the last 10 minutes of the two hour flight.

Travelling with children is never straight forward.

08.08.08

2008-08-08T20:00:00.003+10:00

Aside from the Beijing Olympics commencing this evening which unto itself is a pretty big event, I don’t really have a lot to say. If truth be told, I just wanted to blog something on such a cool date.

So, that’s it. Although Lily and I are off to Adelaide first thing tomorrow morning to spend a few days with the lovely Karen. Tell me again, why I booked a 7:00am flight? Honeslty, sometimes I reckon I must have had rocks in my head.

Off to finish packing.

Clever Sausage

2008-08-07T22:00:00.001+10:00

I mentioned yesterday that Lily did a wee on the potty. How clever is she?! Too clever. Well, it just so happens that her cleverness doesn’t end there.

Drum roll please...*unsuccessfully trying to elicit words to describe a beating drum*

Lily did a poo in the potty before her bath this evening.

I told you she was a clever sausage. Mind you, in doing so, she completely freaked herself out. She really doesn’t like the feeling that excreting without a nappy produces but I’m sure with time that will pass (or at least, that's what I'm telling myself).

Bath time is still a rather painful exercise although we have managed to get the job done the last few nights. She likes to sit on the potty before the bath and read a story or two – she gets that from her father. If it helps, I say go for it.

We are not actively toilet training Lily at the moment although they do pop her on the potty at kindy a few times a day. She doesn’t really do anything but its all part of the learning process. Come summer we should well and truly be there with the big girl undies.

A Good Day…

2008-08-06T21:34:00.000+10:00

1. The house contract is finally unconditional. The buyer’s finance was approved. What a relief! I honestly can’t express how good it feels to finally get the other place off our hands. I won’t pop the Moet though until I get that money in my bank account!!! Come on the 18th (which just so happens to be my mum’s birthday – a good day!).

2. Lily did a wee on the potty before she hopped in the bath tonight – for Grandma of course. Waiting and reading on the potty before the bath helped her some with whole experience. Apparently it was better. Although better – it was still very shaky.

...so a good day.

Mental Note...

2008-08-05T21:36:00.003+10:00

Seek help for Lily’s bath phobia!

I tried to bath her tonight – in the bath – and it was disastrous. I’m surprised our new neighbours didn’t come over to see what the fuss was all about.

Lily was screaming, Byron was screaming, I was screaming. Trevor was yelling at Byron to stop screaming. Oh my. What a disaster. Sigh.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I put her on the potty for ages before I put her in the bath. She was fine until it came time to hop in.

I tried to reassure her that it’s all ok. Byron tried. Trevor tried but it didn’t do any good. The poor child is terrified and all over a stupid poo.

I’m afraid that the more I push it the worse it will get. Arrgghhh! I don’t know what to do.

I might ring the health nurse tomorrow. I don’t want her phobia to last a life time.

I guess it's back to the laundry tub tomorrow night.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

2008-08-03T22:47:00.000+10:00

...off to the laundry tub we go!

We are still battling with bath time. It’s positively horrible. So, the last few nights we have tried the laundry tub and all seems to be going well. By well, I mean she’s not screaming blue murder.

I wonder if I can try the bath again soon?!

Daddy Day.

2008-08-03T21:31:00.000+10:00

Trevor plays football (*cough cough* soccer) every Sunday at 9.30am. For the last few months he has been taking Byron along to watch. It’s kinda become a tradition if you will. Byron loves going along and would be devastated if he wasn’t allowed to go. We’ve gauged this by the ‘threatened’ ban when he’s misbehaving.

Today was an extra special day for football. Not only did Byron get to watch daddy play he also went along with Trevor to an A-League game to watch the Roar play.

Now we better clear something up…by watch we mean he watches for 5 minutes and plays for the reaming 85 minutes. He’s not quite up to the whole ‘you sit, watch, and cheer’ scenario yet. He does however bring his enthusiasm, little fold up chair and treats for the match but they, meaning the chair, don’t get much action after the first 5 minutes or when the treats are no more – which ever comes first. He ritually makes sure that Trevor has his ‘energy drink’ before the match though which has to count for something.

I guess this little tradition with Daddy is the start of many. I like this new phase in Byron’s little life. It’s new and refreshing.

I’m looking forward to bringing my chair and treats and watching him play someday soon – I can’t watch Trevor play because the only time I’ve been, his team lost and it was his fault! I’ve been banished!

Byronism…

Trevor advised me of a funny conversation that Byron had with a lady at football. It basically went something like this…

N - “Byron would you like me to put some sunscreen on?”
Byron - “No, I’m fine”

After five minutes elapsed…

N - “Byron would you like me to put some sunscreen on? Would your mum put sunscreen on you?”
Byron - “Yes”
N - “Would your dad get in trouble if you went home sunburnt?”
Byron - “Dad’s always in trouble!”

I’m in business!

2008-08-02T21:11:00.003+10:00

Woohoo! I had my first ‘real’ client today. My first proper paying client! I went live with my site about 2 months ago now and have been happy to plot along not really ready to leap out there just quite yet. I was still portfolio building to an extent and with working fulltime, running a house (albeit failing miserably at that) and looking after two littlies I didn’t have much time for proper marketing.

These past few weeks however I’ve really been working hard with all my marketing materials - organising business cards, brochures and other bits and pieces. The bits and pieces have started to float in this week and it all looks great. It makes me feel like I’m actually professional. I love it!

On the other hand, it’s all a bit scary really. It’s hard to put yourself out there for the whole world to see – I guess it means that if you fail everyone will know. If you get no clients everyone will know! That’s terrifying actually. At least when your not marketing and you haven’t reached out to tell everyone about you, you’re protected to an extent…there are excuses for not being busy – “Oh I’m not advertising yet” or “I’m just starting out”. Now though, I’ve started putting my brochures out there and well, there are no excuses anymore. It’s really real.

At the end of the day, I do have confidence that this will work; that in time I will be successful. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen (he he he sound familiar!?). I need this to work. I want this to work. I know I can do it. I’ve worked so incredibly hard this past 8 months. It’s just a matter of time. I have time right?!.

Anyway, my client (he he – love the sound of that) today was a word of mouth referral from a friend. I was a little nervous at first but settled in to a good shoot. I’ve only looked at the shots quickly but I think they’ll be happy with the end result.

I guess this means I’m really in business now. Like really!

I have another proper session in two weeks time which is exciting again.

Bring it on I say...

Before I go, because it's been a while, I just had to share some pics of the kids taken before we headed out to Miss Ella's 2nd birthday party this morning. You gotta love Lily's antennas...I'm so excited she is actually starting to get some hair - hair that I can play with!

“Done Poos!”

2008-07-31T20:05:00.003+10:00

Lily’s favourite catch phrase of the moment is “done pooeys, done poos”. Trouble is every time I check these days, there is nothing there. No poos. About 5 minutes after I’ve checked, I usually notice the waft of smelly duds. Doh!

On Monday afternoon, Lily kept uttering her famous catch cry for about 20 minutes. Every time I checked there was nothing there. There were no dirty duds; it was a case of the little girl who cried poos.

Then it came to bath time. I popped her in the bath and went out to get something (and no I wasn’t gone long) when I heard her screaming. By the time I made it in there she was hysterical; screaming like a banshee. She was pointing to something and I thought she was saying “ant”...it was hard to make anything out the way she was crying. I kept reassuring her that the mark on the side of the bath was not an ant, that it was just dirt. After about 30 seconds of her constant screaming I noticed a little ‘log’ float by in the water. Argh! Lily had done a poo in the bath and in doing so had worked her self into such a state she couldn’t be settled down.

That brings me to Tuesday, Wednesday and today. Bath time has been a nightmare. It seems Lily has developed a phobia – and I mean a severe phobia of the bath. It’s like she associates the bath with doing a poo or loosing control. She will not sit. She screams. She stands rigid, with her legs together peering every few seconds over her shoulder as if looking for poo. The poor little mite is so petrified that if she sits down she will not be able to control herself and that feeling is bothering her a lot.

It’s horrible to see. It doesn’t matter how much we reassure her she still screams. I feel so helpless. It takes both Trevor and I to bath her - one to hold her and the other to wash.

Lily used to love bath time. Sigh. I wonder if she will ever like it again.

Tomorrow night we are going to try something else. I know our bath won’t work because she positively hates the spa bath and since we moved in she has only been in there twice and both times she screamed. Showers don’t really work at all either these days – it seems Lily has become a fussy bather. On advice of a friend (thanks Kyles) we’ve decided to try the laundry tub for a change. We need to try something to get her past this experience and over the phobia she has developed of the bath.

Wish us luck!

Arrghhh…what’s smooth?!

2008-07-30T19:12:00.002+10:00

Nothing ever goes smoothly in my life. Not at all.

You might recall I mentioned that we sold our old place – finally after 4 months. Well, it was subject to finance which was due tomorrow. I just got a call from my solicitors and they have advised the purchasers want an extension until 8 August to organise their finance. I granted the extension on the basis settlement would still proceed on the 18th.

Of course, I got off the phone and totally freaked out – thoughts of bills, bills and more bills running through my head. Thoughts that the contract would fall through and we would be stuffed financially. I was so freaked out I actually rang the real estate agent to enquire as to what the issue might be because they had said they didn’t envisage a problem with the finance.

After a few phone calls I was advised that the purchasers went overseas shortly after signing the contract and it was likely that the need for the extension rested with delay with signing documents etc and nothing more. It was a relief to a small extent. Still though, I have horrible thoughts running through my head.

I guess all I can do now is wait (and pray) that the 8th comes and goes and by the 18th the house will no longer be ours.

What fairytales are made of...

2008-07-28T21:30:00.001+10:00

As promised, here are some more snapshots of the wedding which I’ve managed to find from all over the place! Its times like these I wish I had a little ‘hand bag’ sized camera so I could capture what I wanted to capture. Oh well. I used one of the bridesmaid’s little point and shoot cameras to capture as much as I could…now to just wait for the CD so I can have fun processing them (and I’ll be sure to post a heap more – you’ll be sick of wedding photos by the time I’m done!).

Honestly, I’m lost for words as to what to say about the wedding. How’s that…me lost for words!? It simply was, aside from my own of course, the best wedding I’ve ever been too (and I’ve been to plenty of great ones). The atmosphere was second to none. Those Greeks sure know how to party! From the weather, to the ceremony, to the reception - everything went like a dream. It was as perfect a day as one could wish for.

It really was what fairytales are made of...

First things first, the weather here in Brisbane has been totally crapola the last week or so, so to wake on Saturday with perfect winter weather was amazing. We all thought it would be one of those rainy, cold, stay in bed kinda days. I know Natalie was worried about it the previous week – who wouldn’t. Isn’t that a bride's worst fear…that it will rain on her wedding day, even if it is supposed to be good luck. It was such a pleasant surprise to have beautiful weather especially when we were wearing strapless dresses and Lily, a little sleeveless dress.

Aside from being a little pushed for time at the end – it took one hour to put Natalie’s dress on…something to do with the hoop not being straight – which prolonged the bridesmaids getting ready and so on. In the end though, all was great and we made it to the ceremony on time. We travelled in style in a stretch territory. It wasn’t the ‘elegant’ limo Natalie had ordered – apparently it was an upgrade that she wasn’t happy about. I loved it. Byron kept saying “It’s not a Limo because Aunty Natalie said it’s not a limo” to the driver. How embarrassing! Byron and Lily travelled in it too which was no doubt an adventure for them. Lily, bless her little oversized cotton stockings, fell asleep on my lap.

Byron and Lily were so cute walking down the isle. Byron had to be prompted a bit to take off but he did well, walking down the isle looking everywhere but straight ahead – admiring all the art work and the church ceiling! I held Lily’s hand on the way down because, as expected, she wasn’t going to hold Byron’s hand. They were such good little kids both standing in the same spot, not uttering a word for 20 minutes, until I decided it was better to let them sit with Trevor. Byron stood up near the fellas and Lily near Natalie and me. She stood there staring up at Natalie and devouring her single stem rose. Gosh it was adorable. Every now and then I would glance at Byron and couldn’t help but smile. He was so proud. I was so, so proud. Sigh.

(I'm hiding...but look at my Lily. Worthy of a collective awwhhh don't you think?)

The ceremony, although very traditional, was lovely. It went for approximately 45 minutes, which kinda flew by. The only problem was that my feet weren’t too happy at standing in those darn heels for that amount of time. Leaving my feet aside, and the fact I couldn’t understand ¾ of the service, it was beautiful and different to anything I had seen previously.

I think I should mention Nat’s ring about now. OH. MY. GOSH. That girl is spoilt. Her wedding band was amazing - 0.7ct of diamonds to go with her huge rock. Every girl’s dream.

After the ceremony, there were professional photos. I’ve decided wedding photography isn’t for me – at least not in the foreseeable future. I’ll stick to babies. I'm looking forward to seeing the end results of the photos though. Byron and Lily didn’t come along for professional photos. They left with Grandma.

(A capture of mine with a trusty point and shoot camera)

The reception was amazing. Every single detail had been taken care of. The food was probably the only thing that was a little disappointing although I wasn’t really in an eating mood.

(The newly weds)

(The best man and I - at this stage it's about the only full length shot of me)

(It's Greek custom to apparently have a bottle of Scotch on each table...it went down well with all the guests!)

The atmosphere was electric. Everyone danced which is always a sign of a good party. Pretty much every Greek guest, and half everyone else (even me), partook in Greek dancing (including the Zorba). I had no idea what I was doing…I just ran around in a circle moving my legs like I was doing something, hoping no one would notice!

Natalie and Ross just looked so in love. Everyone shed a tear or two, including me, during his speech when he said, “everyday I wake up next to Natalie and love her more with each day”. Sigh. Their body language was of those in love. They really are so sweet together.

I’m not normally the jealous kind but can I just say the thought of them sitting in the warmth of Santorini is just down right depressing – for me not them. They are on the trip of a lifetime. Six weeks of travel around the Greek Islands, Greece, Italy, Venice, France, Rome, and London. Sigh. I would give my right leg to go on a trip like that. I hope they have the time of their lives...they deserve it.

Sneak Peak

2008-07-27T12:23:00.000+10:00

Just quickly...Natalie's wedding was delightful! It was amazing! It was splendid! Just perfect!

She looked stunning. The picture of the perfect bride.

Here are some of the only pictures I snapped on the day (I tell you what - you won't see me doing weddings any time soon - way too hard!).

I'll be sure to post some 'happy snaps' as soon as I can get my hands on them. Oh...I'll also post some of the couple too. For now, these will have to do.

Toast to the Bride

2008-07-24T23:42:00.000+10:00

I finished my speech for the wedding. I hope it's ok. I hope my sister likes it. I never really know what to say in speeches - It's not my strong point. With a little inspiration I managed. I tried to be creative. I tried to make it as short as I could because God knows I think she has speeches coming out of her ears and lets face it knowbody wants to hear them all. Anyway, I'm happy with what I've written....

"Natalie, when you were first born, Mum told me I adored you. She said I wanted to hold you and feed you and kiss you every chance I got. I loved to rock you in your little rocker. Apparently, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. We were ‘mates’ instantly.

Then we got a little older and you started to annoy me. I couldn’t go anywhere without you following me along for the ride. You used to call us – Nathan and I – ‘kids’. ‘Kids’ this and ‘kids’ that. "Kids wait for me"! It was cute…but when you’re 8 and trying to be ‘cool’ in front of your older friends, then, well, it was so far from cute it wasn’t funny.

When quizzing mum about what things were like with you when we were young I was trying to get some ‘stuff’ to work with in this speech. Apparently though, there was no “if you cried, I got the blame” or “if we were fighting, I had to give in first”. There was no “hair pulling” or “black eyes (I saved that for Nathan!)”. I thought maybe, I might have tried to get rid of you or give you away when you were born but apparently ‘no such luck’.

We siblings were mates. Always mates and you were just known as the tag along with personality to burn.

Looking back now, as a mum myself with two littlies, for mum and dad’s sake, I’m grateful we were ‘good mates’; that there was no ‘sibling rivalry’. I guess I’m also grateful that I didn’t wish you left behind at the local shopping centre because; you started to come in handy when you were older. You were good for playing dolls with and of course you made the best slave.

As we’ve grown older, we’ve undoubtedly grown closer. That four and half year gap has whittled down to nothing. We share in the ups and downs of life as any friends do. I know I have a busy life, and that I’m not always there to help you when you need it most. Please know that I do try, although you might not think it at times. Just know that I love you and that you are the greatest sister in the world.

One of the things I love about you most and is of most importance to me now is the love that you share for your niece and nephew. Byron and Lily are so incredibly lucky to have an aunt like you. We don’t have a large family and you are ‘pretty’ much it when it comes to ‘local’ relatives And now, that you are marrying uncle Ross, who might I add the kids simply adore – 'Uncle Ross' this and 'Uncle Ross' that, it simply couldn’t get any better for my kids, which as you know when my kids are happy, I’m happy.

Today, on your wedding day, how beautiful you are in that gorgeous white gown. How happy you looked walking down the aisle. My little kid sister, now married to her childhood sweetheart. As I watch you tonight I wish I could bottle that love and joy oozing out of you; wrap it up with pretty paper and a bow, and give it to you as a wedding gift. Then you could take it out on a dismal day and be right back here, in this place, eating and laughing and dancing with everyone. But I don’t think you’ll need such a bottle. The reminders of this special day will be all around you: in the photo album on your coffee table, in the picture frame hanging on the wall, and in the shining band you wear on your finger every day. Use these reminders as a source of comfort and strength during the hard times. And let them bring a brighter smile to your faces in times of happiness.

Natalie and Ross, always remember this special day. Remember how you feel right now. Let that feeling guide you through a long and happy life. Congratulations!

...and can I have some more nieces or nephews soon!!!!"

Hens Night Fun

2008-07-20T21:21:00.002+10:00

I remember fondly my hen’s night. Who could forget about guys that were the cheesiest creatures ever and not at all ‘hot’!? They were just ridiculously on themselves that it was down right hilarious. That coupled with lots of alcohol made for the funniest night ever. For those wondering, we ventured on to the ‘wild boys afloat’ tour. I’m having fits of giggles just remembering it – the half naked men – cause they never do remove those g-strings (talk about double standards) – holding my hands and rubbing them, ever so sensually (NOT) over their waxed, baby oiled chest – eewwwhhh. Oh the memories.

My sister didn’t want anything like that and to be honest I’m grateful. I loved it when I was 24 and got married but gosh, I don’t think I could go it now. I’m a prudish 30 year old mother for crying out loud – I have standards now!!

We (aka my sister) decided that we would have something at my place which kind of suited me because I didn’t have to get any form of cab ride home, which is always a bonus. We decided to go for a cocktail theme and everyone just put in.

Of course, it goes without saying that my sister got to don the usual attire for a bride to be – a condom, dick whistle laden veil with devil horns to boot. Lets not forget the whistle and dick bubbles for good measure.

We drank cosmopolitans and martinis. The jelly shots were a tad potent but still consumable. My choccies went down a treat. He he he. There was design a wedding dress and matching underwear in toilet paper game; design the best looking Willie out of playdoh game (I should mention I won!); and peel the banana with no hands and eat it trick. As the night wore on, out came Singstar (after we had to call Trevor home to connect it and even then it was being temperamental) and that was a bundle of laughs as it always is.

It really was a great night except for the filthy, filthy floor which Trevor mopped at 2am in the morning (three times over to get it clean). So long as my sister had a good night, I was happy and as far as I’m aware she did.

(The bridal party)

(...so whacha think of my choccies?!)

Wedding Bells!

2008-07-20T13:42:00.001+10:00

I can hear them ringing.

Less then a week to go before my sister gets married. Yay!

We had the hens last night but I'll report on that shortly - feeling rather tired today!

Opportunity Knocks

2008-07-17T23:01:00.002+10:00

You know those times in your life when you get an opportunity that you simply can not pass up? You know, the kind of opportunity where regret would haunt you forever if you didn’t take it?

Well, an opportunity just like that popped up for me this week. I got an opportunity, whether by chance or sheer luck (I don’t know) to attend a photography retreat with one of the gurus of children and family portraiture (both in Australia and around the world), the one and only Miss Jinky, Barb Uil.

I’m totally beside myself with excitement. I simply can not wait until October when I pack my bags for the weekend and head to Canberra with 14 other photographers to learn from the best. Gosh, how’s a girl supposed to wait 3 months …I feel like a kid waiting eagerly for Santa to come down the chimney. I just can’t!

It’s not cheap and there’s so much more I could spend my money on – especially at the moment – but like I said before, regret would irk me for years to come I’m sure if I didn't jump at the chance. Money simply can’t pay for an opportunity like this.

I’ve paid and got confirmation! Now to book some flights and I’m set.

Eeeekkk! I still can’t believe it.

Artistic

2008-07-13T21:40:00.002+10:00

I knew exactly what I had in mind when I decided to get Byron to lie down outside in the alfresco area on my black felt yesterday. I wanted something artistic. Something different. I think that's what I got.

Byron is the perfect model. Besides being totally gorgeous...he is always (ok well not always - he limits me to about 10 shots) willing to let me snap away.

I couldn’t be happier with the shots I got. They are different, probably not everyone's cup of tea but they are artistic and well, my desired outcome.

You judge.

And just to prove he was happy (in case you thought he looked rather serious)...

“Peeeesseee Mummy!”

2008-07-13T21:29:00.001+10:00

Lily’s new catch phrase…head titled to the side, eyebrows raised, softly spoken…

“Peeeesseee Mummy. Peeeesseee!”

She thinks it will get her anything.

She thinks it will win me over.

She thinks that’s all it takes…a simple “Peeeesseee mummy. Peeeesseee!”

Am I a sucker or what? It works nearly every time, especially when her sweet little toddler hand grabs hold of mine at the same time, head titled to the side, eyebrows raise and in a softly spoke voice she says “common mummy…lets go. Peeeesseee!”

If you thought I was bad “Peeeesseee Daddy. Peeeesseee!” gets Trevor every time!

She knows how to work her charm that girl. We’ve just go to figure out a way to resist it.

Good News

2008-07-12T21:04:00.001+10:00

Finally, after some poor decisions on our part (regarding two previous offers – one of which in hindsight we should have taken given the market crash here in Queensland) we have finally signed a contract on our old place. Of course, it’s subject to finance as well as pest and building so I won’t be able to rest easy until the contract goes unconditional, but at least there is hope!

The offer was $2K less then one that was made three months ago which sucks but at the end of the day we are happy just to get it off our hands.

So, all I can do is cross my fingers and hope to God that it all goes smoothly. God knows, I need it to. Really I do.

On his lonesome…

2008-07-10T22:48:00.002+10:00

My little guy had his very first shower tonight all on his lonesome. He’s had plenty of showers before but someone has always been in there with him.

He and Lily almost always have a bath together. Today however, on account of her being sick, she had already had a bath so instead of popping him in one all by himself, something we had done many times before, I thought he was big enough now to try his very own shower experience.

He did so well. He washed himself, all by himself. He washed his hair, all by himself (ok well nearly – I 'had to' pour the shampoo on his head). He had a good ol’ time drawing on the shower glass. He had a good ol’ time period.

I hope the new experience doesn’t bring with it a farewell to the old. I mean, my boy’s still little right?! He’ll still be having baths for a little while yet…or at least that’s what I’m hoping. Tonight was just a taste of big boy freedom. He’ll have to grow a few years older before he gets any more familiar with showering on his lonesome – I’m a cruel mother aren’t I?

Tomorrow night it’s back to the trusty bath and bath toys to boot.

He he he…and of course, it wouldn’t be a ‘first’ experience without my camera in hand.

When I'm 18...

2008-07-10T19:48:00.006+10:00

We would be hard pressed to pass by a ute these days without Byron proclaiming that he’ll get one just like it when he’s older. He wants a green ute, red ute, white ute – any ute really. He wants a ute like Uncle Ross’. Today was no exception. It just so happened that there was a little (by my standards anyway) green ute parked next to our car after I picked him up from kindy. The following conversion ensued…

Byron: “That’s the ute I’m going to get mum, when I get bigger. I want a green one like that."

Me: “Really?!”

Byron: “Yep! That’s the one.” (So far, I'd say he has a running tally of about 50 utes that are 'the one')

So, we got in the car and drove off. A little bit further down the road Byron started discussing the ute again. He proclaimed… “I’m going to put paints in my ute…you know in the hole in the back…in the ute…where the big tires are…like that one (pointing to yet another ute on the highway). I’m going to put lots of paints in the back and I’m going to get boxes [I presume he’s talking about the tool boxes often seen in ute trays] in there too and I’m going to put paint brushes and more paints in there."

Me: “So, are you going to be a painter?”

Byron: “Yep! I’m going to be a painter when I turn 18. Do you think I’ll be able to drive when I’m 18? I’ll have to get my licence but before I get my licence I’ll have to sit in the front and see what it’s like to drive. Do you think I’ll get my licence when I’m 18?”

Me: ….speechless…dreading the thought he will one day be 18 with a ute and a licence!

More Vomit

2008-07-10T19:36:00.001+10:00

…and on the carpet no less. Arggh!

My poor Lily Pilly was quite the ill little flower this morning. We were all ready to go to work. She was in our bedroom with Trevor and I when all of a sudden she started lying down on the floor. I thought it a bit odd – I mean what toddler will just lie on the floor, still, for no reason? Then, a split second later she started coughing and out it came. I wasted no time in scooping her up and running full pelt for the tiles. Lucky I did because it just kept on coming.

So, there we all were, ready to leave the house when vomit struck. I didn’t know which way to look…Trevor was holding Lily so she didn’t trample on the vomit laden tiles while I’m running around like a mad woman trying to find something, anything, to clean the carpet – again! Lucky for us I managed to get it off.

In the meantime poor Byron was screaming that we would have to call the doctors because she was really sick and that he didn’t want her to die. Sigh. He just loves her so much!

Then came the dilemma…who would stay home? I already had two days off last week with the kids but Trevor just started a new job. He was nine days into it. So, who was it to be? It was decided he would stay home today. He rang his boss and she was cool which was a relief. That’s the hardest part about working fulltime with kids – juggling it all - trying to be there for them when it’s not always possible. Sigh.

As it turns out, Trevor and Lily had a nice day. He watched four Wiggles DVDs with her. They sat outside and watched the diggers ‘cut’ the lot next door. There was no more vomit and by the time I got home with Byron (whom I might add she missed immensely) she was a happy little poppet and ready to play. That’s just the way I like it…Did I mention how much I hate vomit?!

Finding the Light

2008-07-08T22:52:00.003+10:00

The one thing I loved about the old place was the lighting. There was so much 'natural light' about the place which was perfect for photography. Everywhere you turned there was lovely light streaming in the windows.

I love practically everything about my new house except one thing. I hate that it's so dark. The big open area is dark. The kids bedrooms are dark. I would say that 80% of the house is dark and it really urks me. I love light and airy, not dark and gloomy.

Before I moved in I had visions of light streaming into my windows...lots of lovely light, making it perfect for photography. How I was mistaken. It's a photographers nightmare.

It's so bad that we will have to, at some point when the finances allow, get some skylights put into the family room. I'm hoping that will create a more light and airy feel to the place.

In the meantime, don't get me wrong, there is light in some of the rooms (i.e playroom and media room - them being at the front of the house) and I try to soak up that light as much as I can. Unfortunately, the mountain of children's toys and the TV get in the way of any kind of photography. For about an hour there is just enough in my bedroom to get some half decent shots which is better then nothing. My poor kids! I'll be rounding them up at the same time just to get some snaps in before the light disappears.

Deflated

2008-07-06T18:48:00.001+10:00

You know those times in your life where nothing seems to go right; you feel like crap and no matter how hard you try you just can’t seem to snap out of it? Well, that’s me at the moment. I seriously don’t think I’ve wallowed in my self pity like this for a really long time. Today, I sat on the lounge in my pyjamas and haven’t moved all day, except to the kitchen. I have no patience. I don’t want to see people. I don’t care for the internet, my photography or even playing with my kids. I just want to be alone.

I want to dig a big hole and hide away…hide away for ever!

Sigh.

I suppose it’s been a long time coming really. We still haven’t sold the other place and I am sick and tired of having no money. I hate working full time, am not completely fond of my job at the moment and I desperately want to cut back but I can’t.

I was travelling along ok – trying to look at the positives in life until Friday when I stuffed up. I stuffed up badly at something, I’d rather not say what (because I’m totally embarrassed), and well, I just feel rejected, worthless and stupid. I simply feel deflated.

I think Friday was the icing on the cake and synonymous of my life.

I’m normally a positive person and I look at the things I have and I’m grateful – health, two gorgeous kids, husband, family, beautiful friends and a nice house. Today that’s not enough. Today I can’t help looking at the bad – the struggles – the constant crap that goes on in my life and wonder when it will end. No matter how hard I work – and that’s damn hard – it’s not enough…it’s never enough.

I just want to struggle less, worry less and just coast along but nothing is ever cruisey in my life and I’m totally over it.

I’m really unhappy and feel so guilty for feeling that way especially when there are people out there who are far worse off. Really, my life isn’t at all bad so why should I complain? As true as that may be, that fact remains I’m not in a good place right now. I’m really not.

I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know what it will take to make it better (short of a lotto win maybe). I just know that I want to be in that ‘happy place’ again.

Sigh.

Spanish Princess

2008-07-02T18:54:00.002+10:00

My pettiskirts arrived from the USA yesterday - photography props. Very exciting indeed.

Since I was home with the kids I decided I would make the most of my time and 'try' (being the operative word) to get some shots of Lily wearing the gorgeous skirt...a perfect fit for her. Naughty me stripped her off in the middle of winter. It was warm though plus she was only 'topless' for 5 minutes *blush*.

Doesn't she look like a little Spanish princess?! Just gorgeous. For the record, the headband lasted about 15 seconds literally. She wasn't a fan. She's not a fan of the head gear which of course I hope will change. Her hair is slowly but surely getting longer and soon, no doubt, it will require some managing...something she's isn't to keen on at the moment.

Into the light...

2008-07-01T22:41:00.004+10:00

Whilst it's not for everyone, there is something about this image that I just love. It has a dark and moody side.

Techinically though, there is a fair bit wrong with it but sometimes I guess, you have to get past the 'techinicallity' of an image. If it speaks to you then that's all that matters in the end. And this image speaks to me...

Baby Tayla

2008-07-01T12:40:00.001+10:00

I'm just sharing some shots from my newborn session with Miss Tayla. She was such a good little poppet. She didn't cry once! She loved being in the nuddy which helped take the cutest photos.

There were quite a few I loved so I thought I would share them here - there are many *blush*.

So Fresh

2008-06-30T23:57:00.003+10:00

$90 later and the carpet is smelling all nice and fresh again. The lounge looks as good as new. Phew!

Trevor had told me that whilst he had cleaned the carpet and lounge he thought he could see it staining and not to mention the lingering smell. For crying out loud, we've only been in the house a matter of weeks. We couldn't possibly stain the carpet that soon. So, with mum's insistence I got some carpet cleaners to duck around and quickly clean the carpet and lounge.

I'm so glad I did. Although it was $90 I wish I didn't have to spend...it was money well spent.

Byron looked so miserable tonight. There have been no more vomits *gasp* but he just looked very unwell.

On a side note...lets just say, there are lots of towels scattered all over his bedroom floor. I can't afford another $90 call out fee any time soon!

In closing, I get to spend the day home with my babies tomorrow...both of them. Lily will stay home - I couldn't be bothered dropping her at kindy and besides, she can keep Byron company.

Geepers...is that the time already?! I guess I better get to bed. God knows what tomorrow will hold.

Could this week start any worse?!

2008-06-30T12:49:00.003+10:00

...Byron just threw up in the media room. All over the brand new carpet and the brand new lounge. You think he could have picked an area with tiles - like 80% of our house! Trevor just kindly rang me at work to tell me I OWE him big time!

I owe him nothing...he's the dad and it's his job too. Besides, I don't do vomit. Thinking I might camp out at my office tonight.

Sigh...I want this week over with NOW!

Sleep my child...

2008-06-30T08:55:00.003+10:00

Arghh…I felt like I had a newborn last night, although come to think of it, my newborns weren’t anywhere as bad as lily was last night. The little Miss cried full on from 10.00pm to midnight and then on and off and on and off until 3.00am. By midnight I’d had enough and summonsed Trevor to take over. I had to go to work and there was no way I could function properly on a few hours sleep, which as it stands was a correct assumption – I’m buggered!

Trevor had gone to bed at around 10.00pm which is so not like him, especially when he doesn't have to work the next day – he starts a new job on Tuesday. Woohooo!!! He’ll be around in the morning. He’ll be working normal hours and no more Saturdays!!!

Anyway, I digress. Lily hardly ever wakes up in the night. Both my children are great sleepers and for the most part have always been. As newborns, they ‘slept through’ from 8 and 12 weeks and from then we haven’t looked back. The down side to having good sleeping children is that when they’re unwell, having a bad night or just being silly, we’re so unaccustomed to the ‘broken’ sleep ourselves, that come the next morning, it’s like we are badly hung-over, despondent and completely shattered. That’s how I feel today! Lucky Trevor, who has the day off today, gets to have a nice sleep. Sigh. I’m trying to stay upright at my desk, let alone stay focused.

I’m not quite sure what was going on with Lily last night. She woke up initially and when I went in to her she keep saying, “see Byron, see Byron”. Needless to say at 10.00pm, Byron was sleeping soundly and there was no way I was taking her up on such an offer. That was until, after half an hour of straight crying she woke up Byron. Thinking it might help, I took her in to say goodnight once again, and for a cuddle. It obviously didn’t do the trick. What ever was wrong with the child, she wasn’t sleeping. Trevor ended up sleeping on her floor, patting her head, giving her some warm milk - I had done the panadol trick earlier - but none of it worked with any success. It's seems the poor child eventually wore herself out, sleeping from 3.00am to 6.30am.

I hope she puts her sleeping hat on tonight because there is no way I’ll be able to back up tomorrow otherwise!

Karaoke fun!

2008-06-28T18:29:00.006+10:00

I went out on the town last night. No really I did. I hit the city pubs like I was 18. Ok so not really, it was just dinner and karaoke but it was in a city pub; I did drink and I did get home late…1:00am, which is way late for me.

I work in the city so generally I hate to socialise in there too. I would rather stay in the suburbs myself. Give me a BBQ at someone’s house or a few drinks at the local pub. The thought of hitting the town these days just makes me cringe.

I look back on my hay days and wonder how the hell I did it. I simply can’t imagine going out two to three days straight, drinking a lot and staying out to all hours. I don’t have the stamina for that anymore. Plus, I’m too sensible. I worry way to much when I’m out and see ‘younger’ people behaving dangerously. I hate fights, and big groups of young people just scare me. I think it’s the mother in me. When you're younger and free you don’t tend to worry about that stuff.

Leaving my anxieties aside I had a really great night last night. We were celebrating the 30th of another friend – there will be quite a few of those this year. My besty organised it. Ordinarily I’m not a huge fan of karaoke although on my trip to Melbourne last year I kind of fell in love with Singstar for the PS2. There is nothing like a bit of vocal dancing when your home ALONE! Obviously, karaoke at home is far different to that in public especially when one is totally tone deaf and incapble of staying in tune. However, my besty assured me it would be the best night and it was. It was so much fun...I'll definitely do it again but only after a bottle and half of wine.

Speaking of my besty, the thought arose, that I don’t mention her much in here. I don’t know why that’s the case. When you think about it, it really does reflect poorly on me as a best friend, that I don’t acknowledge as much as I should, the great things she does for me. She truly has a heart of gold - one of a kind.

I feel terrible that I didn’t mention she came over on the day I moved in, my 30th birthday, with a bottle of wine and some chips, just to keep me company. We chatted late into the night and it was a lovely end to what could otherwise be classified as a not so fun day. She does that kind of stuff often. She has thrown me surprise parties, baby showers, a hen’s night and the list goes on. She’s given speeches at all my important events, including my recent 30th. It wouldn’t be a party if she didn’t give a speech. I love that quality about her.

Anyway, I guess I digressed somewhat from my initial post. I guess I wanted her to know that she truly is a special friend…one in a million…my best friend. Love ya Tash!

I want one...

2008-06-24T21:22:00.002+10:00

I can't believe how gushy I got today going to see a friend of mines new little bub. A gorgeous little poppet she is. So cute and tiny. She has the softest, smoothest skin. Sigh. I could have cuddled her all night long. A little girl named Tayla. I couldn't be happier for my friend. Tayla is a long awaited first born.

I have the pleasure of taking her newborn photos on the weekend. In the meantime these few will have to do. Collectively....sigh

Man I want one. I want to have another now. The feeling of 'need' is back again. It's the same feeling I had when Byron was around Lily's age. The difference this time is that I can't go back for number three right now. I just can't. I'm so annoyed that I can't go back. God knows when I'll be able to. I worry the time will never be right again; that we simply will never be able to afford number three and that scares me a lot.

For now, and to avoid, my longing for number three, I'm just trying to focus on my kids, my photography and all the little babies popping up around me! Hopefully, come this time next year there won't be any further need to surpress my desire...I'll already be pregnant!

Magical Fun

2008-06-21T21:42:00.001+10:00

We went to yet another birthday party today – just a party for one of Byron’s future wives. Apparently all the girls want to marry him or at least that’s what they tell their mums. I wonder if his popularity with the ‘ladies’ will teeter out over time or if he’ll always be somewhat of a ladies man.

What can I say…he’s rather handsome…takes after his mother!

Speaking of Byron, I can’t believe how much he has changed of late. There are far less tantrums which, it goes without saying makes me a happy little camper. I can’t really explain it. He just seems mellower. Maybe the move and more space have helped him out some or maybe he’s just growing older. What ever it is, I hope it continues.

I can’t believe he only has 6 months of kindy remaining before he trots off to ‘big school’. I know in my heart of hearts that that time will fly by; that he will really be a different kid come February 2009. By different I mean more grown up. I know it, but I just try not to think about it. I just try to stay in the now and enjoy my little preschooler!

It’s been a while since I mentioned a Byronism so here’s a little one for the blog. According to Byron, Queensland won the “state of oranges”. That’s it. That’s all I have! I’ll try and be more conscious of his silly phrases and sentences.

Oh my, I digress…back to the party.

So, I also took Lily along to the party today. Byron was off with his friends but Lily of course required constant supervision which interfered into my social ‘mother’ time. Oh well. I snapped a few shots of her in the playground which made up for it.

There wasn’t a lot of your typical party food at this party. Just some chips and that was it. No lollies. Lily was rather disappointed seeing as the first thing she mentioned when I said we were going to a party was “lollies”. She just wanted those lollies and nothing else was good enough, except for the chocolate cake which she keep asking to have at least 2 hours before we sung happy birthday. Sigh. She’s certainly my little miss piggy!

There was a magician at the party which all the kids loved. All the kids related, even Lily. I thought she would be too young but she showed interest every now and then. Byron thought it was the coolest thing. I loved his facial expressions and excitement in his voice when he was relaying to Trevor how the magician turned the sponge rabbit into a real one. Shucks, even I was surprised but how good the magician was.

It was a lovely afternoon.

It was all a bit too much for Lily. She started to get very tired and thought Byron's lap would be a nice spot to lay her head for a minutes rest.

Isn't she a cutie patootie!?

Dress Sense

2008-06-21T21:40:00.002+10:00

If only I could have Lily’s carefree sense of style.

Perhaps then, I could venture out in my PJs, socks and thongs!

Little Miss Independent

2008-06-18T21:01:00.004+10:00

Lily is becoming so independent…a real little miss. She’s talking at a rate of knots as equally as she’s developing her own little personality. She loves to do things herself. It’s “Lily do it” this and “Lily do it” that. And, If she can’t do it on her own she isn’t afraid to ask for (or should I say, demand) some help along the way in her endeavours to get something done… "mummy do it” or “mummy help”.

The baby that was Lily is rapidly becoming a thing of the past. Whilst I still see the glimpses of infancy that once were, they are now fewer and further between. Sigh. I’m happy she’s growing into a little independent miss but at the same time I’m sad to see her leave the baby stage behind. In a matter of weeks, Lily will be two. My little baby will be two. I look at Byron, my big baby who’s nearly 5, and can’t at all imagine Lily will one day, in a blink of an eye, be that age. The reality hasn’t quite set in yet.

I can tell she’s growing up by the mere fact she’s communicating on a ‘kid’ level a lot of the time now. If she wants something these days she just out and out asks for it. The days of deciphering baby language are a thing of the past. There isn’t much she can’t say or doesn’t know.

The new thing Byron is finding of interest is to tell Lily to do things. He tells her to get things for him and he tells her to say things; things that are not always, well, nice. The other day, she ran out to me and said “poo poo head” with this massive big grin on her face. She was so proud. She tells Trevor that he’s a “silly daddy”. Needless to say, we are trying to pull Byron and his persuasive ways into line before he has Lily doing a whole lot more then calling us ‘poo poo heads’.

In line with my new project – to capture the little bit of ordinary in each day – I snapped a few pics of Lily in the bath…washing her own hair and insisting that she wash herself too… “Lily do it!”

Just the Ordinary...

2008-06-17T22:22:00.003+10:00

It's dinner time and Byron has just learned how to use his knife and fork properly. I taught him where to put his fingers. He was proud. I was proud.

Lily and utensils. I don't think so. Well ok...that's a lie. She uses her spoon and fork but of late, has elected to use her fingers a little more.

Karen, this one's for you (Size 1)...

It's been a while...

2008-06-17T21:46:00.001+10:00

Gosh. It feels like ages since I picked up my camera with the intent of doing a mini shoot. I hardly picked up my camera whilst I was on leave.

I consciously thought that this weekend I 'should' pick it up and take some shots. The two birthday parties we had to attend were the perfect opportunity. The first one, on Saturday, did result in me taking the camera but not in me actually taking any shots. Durr. On Sunday Lily went to a little party in the park. I thought it was the best opportunity to get her all dressed up and take some snaps.

I didn't really get any of Byron whilst at the park so I thought I would take him outside and get some whilst Lily was sleeping. We ended up exploring the houses being built around us (he he he I love being a sticky beak). I tell you...some people just have no taste in electrical fitting. Blur!!!

Anyway, I only got a couple of Byron but I was pretty happy with them none the less. Speaking of happy, Byron has a little electric car that he's had since he was about two. Mum got it for him for Christmas (when he was way too young to use it). The thing is he has never used it. We didn't have the space at home to park the car so it was put into storage. Since we've moved the car has come out and can I just say...it is a huge hit! He loves it. Lily loves it. He takes her for rides. It's so cute!

The car is the coolest...It even has a real radio that tunes into 'normal' stations. He was listening to the 'football' the other day whilst driving along. The things kids have today.

And some of the car...

Good Fun!

2008-06-16T20:39:00.011+10:00

Just me and thirty odd of my closest friends and family.

A fair amount of alcohol (a touch too much).

One very late night.

One bad hang over the next day (I’m getting too old for it all).

But gee…It was so bloody worth it! I had the best time.

PS. Thanks Jo (my sister in law) for taking all my birthday snaps.

(my brother who flew up from Sydney for the night...just for me! He he he...somehow I think he had a 'rocky' plane ride home the next morning!)

(Us kids with Mum)

(Pretty much the only shot of Trevor from the night. Can you believe we didn't get one happy snap together?!)

(My sister and brother)

(My brother - gee he's fairing well in the happy snap department...wonder why? - and my sister in law)

(My good ol' besty!)

(My sis and soon to be brother in law)

One more thing...

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

So I’m 30…

2008-06-14T23:01:00.000+10:00

I still can’t believe that I’m no longer in my twenties. It’s really surreal.

I find myself stopping mid thought (with something else) when the sudden realisation I’m thirty hits. It’s rather odd. I feel like my twenties just slipped away. My next ‘big’ birthday is forty. What the? How can I be heading to forty? What happened to twenty?

Ok. Ok. So it’s another ten years until I’m forty – Byron will be 15 then – but as if, when I was twenty, I would have thought that thirty was just around the corner and here I am…thirty!

My twenties literally flew by. Graduation from law school, admission as a lawyer, buying a place, getting married, building a place and having two kids along the way sure did take its toll on my twenties. I’m not sure my thirties will be so hectic. Aside from one more child, there is nothing else on the radar, compared to my twenties. If truth be told, that’s a good thing. My twenties were a blur, no doubt on account of its busy schedule. I’m hoping my thirties are a more laid back, carefree era in my life.

From those in the know (i.e. those in their thirties) I’ve heard life’s great. It’s a good time. I hope their right. I’m looking forward to the good life.

Let the journey begin.

The journey began on an interesting note. On the day of my birthday we moved house. There was no nice dinner or lunch. No pampering. It was all hard work and no play. I suppose I can’t complain. Moving into a nice new home on your birthday is what most dream of, even if it is 80% owned by the bank.

I’ve mentioned my mum before. She’s so sweet; the sweetest mum in the world. She always tries her very hardest to make my birthday so special. This year was no different. After having a big fight with Trevor in the morning over him not having replaced his licence (after his wallet got stolen last Christmas) and hence therefore not being able to hire the truck (which I could not drive) I returned home in tears to be greeted by my mum. She had come around to deliver me some birthday cheer with presents included. Trevor was carrying on like a right idiot because, after six months, and under duress, he had to head off to get his licence replaced, something he didn’t think he needed to do (I could write a whole blog on his behaviour that day but I won’t waste the space or my precious time). After he was gone and to cheer me up mum gave me a present, which, cheered me up no end but didn’t dry the tears.

It was a little box, the present. I suspected jewellery, given the size of the box but I had no idea what it could be. When I opened the box I was speechless. When I studied the gift, I cried more tears – happy tears – for mum had given me the most wonderful gift I had ever received. It was a solid gold bangle with 8 diamonds measuring a total of .8ct. The most wonderful part of the gift wasn’t the vast amount of gold or the diamonds but the inscription it held. It read…

“Forever my daughter, now my friend.”

Even as I type this it makes me emotional. I’m thankful everyday to have the mother I do. She truly is my special friend.

A little more about the bangle…Dad had given mum a bangle many moons ago (they haven’t been married for over 15 years) which had 15 diamonds in it. Mum had put 8 of those diamonds in my bangle and kept the other 7 diamonds for my sister (he he he I’m older so I got one more). She had the gold melted from the bangle and other pieces of her jewellery and had it custom made; custom made just for me.

Sigh. I’m so lucky.

Trevor and the kids gave me a half day at a spa. Four hours of treatment including massages, manicures and all those fun things. I’ve decided to use it come September/October when spring is in the air.

My sister gave me the most gorgeous diamond ‘N’ pendant. She knew that I’ve always wanted one and well, she got me one. It's perfect.

Sigh. I’m so lucky.

I had a party one week later. I’ll report on that tomorrow, photos and all. I’m tired now. Off to bed I think. I'm having way to many late nights at the moment.

Lost Mojo

2008-06-12T22:52:00.003+10:00

I seem to have lost my blog mojo. What’s with that?

My ‘need to blog’ entries tally is mounting and I can’t seem to get motivated to get them done. I think not having the internet for ‘so’ long has restored my interest in television.

I’m so mad!

Lets see…there’s the 30th birthday and the party. There are those damn mice I mentioned (we’ve caught 5 so far…eeeekkkk…can you believe it? My brand new house and a little mice family think it’s theirs and move in…I showed them!). There’s Lily’s first pig tail (miss pebbles), her funny face (freakin hilarious) and her never ending vocabulary (no joke, she rivals Bryon). Byron’s just planted his first ever plant – a tomato plant – which requires consideration. Sigh. He’s such a big boy now. What else? My detox diet (I'm currently on day 3), my sister's wedding any my gorgeous attendants and, well, just stuff.

What’s worse is that I feel like I’ve lost my photo mojo too and that my friend, requires a special entry all to its self.

So there you have it. Funny huh?! I could have written at least one of my ‘need to blog’ entries instead of spinny the aforementioned crap. Oh well, I’ll have to try tomorrow.

Tomorrow it is. 30th birthday here we come.

Hand Over and the Move

2008-06-09T18:54:00.013+10:00

22 May 2008 and beyond.

Finally, the day we had dreamed of for the past 16 months had arrived. We had hoped and wished that it would have happened sooner – that handover would have been some time in March or April but alas that wasn’t to have occurred. It took every single day of the 6 months allotted in the contract for us to receive the house.

Boy, did it d-r-a-g.

So the day came. I’m not sure what I envisaged for it really. I guess it might be different for others because we had had access to the house whenever we wanted. Plus, even on the day of handover, which took place late in the afternoon; we were allowed to move our stuff in. Heck, we could have moved our stuff in a few days before and I don’t think the builder would have cared at all. So there was no excited rush to run through the house because we had done that so often - we were all ready there and moving in when the builder arrived that afternoon.

Basically, in terms of handover, the builder just came around gave us the paper work, I signed a few things, he changed the locks, handed us the keys and that was it.

The day before my 30th birthday marks the day we received our brand new house. It wasn’t the day we slept in our house, that day was reserved from my birthday (mainly because we couldn’t move it all in). Speaking of moving, it has taken a while to move in – actually, we are still moving stuff from the other house (which is yet to sell but that’s another story!). We attended a lovely wedding the weekend of the 24th and 25th which meant no moving when we otherwise would have.

Slowly, over the last few weeks we have made the place our home. I went back to the ‘other’ house yesterday and it just felt weird. I had wondered what it would be like to leave the place Trevor and I had lived in for pretty much our whole relationship together; the house we lived our initial married life in; the place that both our children came home from the hospital to; our first home. I thought I would miss it but I don’t.

Byron and Lily have come out of their shell in this new place. Lily especially. She’s a whole new kid. There is space for them to run and scream and play. I love watching them follow each other around. I love that they have space to do kid things. I love that Byron uses the hallway or big stretch from the front door to the laundry as his ‘freeway’. I love that Lily runs, literally, all over the place. I love that they have a space just for them.

Best of all….I love that we have our space; everyone has a space that is theirs which is perfect.

Anyway, without further ado, here are some photos of our house…

The house (or at least the front of it)...

The kitchen and family rooms...

We opted for a black, red, white and silver splash back. We were bold and brave. We couldn't be happier with our courageous efforts.

Our bedroom and bathroom:

Our big king sized bed arrived on 22 May 2008. We couldn't be happier. It's so nice and cozy. The lovely linen was courtesy of my mother - a house warming gift. Trevor and I don't know ourselves in such a big bed as we had only had a double before this. It's so strange to roll over and not touch...or in my case roll over, feel the cold patch and roll right back to my warm patch. Sigh. It's so lovely!

I don't think I've introduced my carpet before. It's a chocolate brown, taupey colour - I can't quite recall actually. It's nice and soft which is all that matters. There is so much room to play in our bedroom. Today, we played horsey with kids. Lily kept wanting to ride 'horsey'. Aside from the meida room, and the other bedrooms, there isn't alot of softness around the place which is why we love our bedroom so much!

Lily's bedroom:

Her bedroom is as sweet as she is. It has the same decor as her old room (with no frieze). She will move into a little toddler bed soon but I thought for now, with the recent move, the safe haven of her cot would be best.

Byron's bedroom:

Sigh. I love his room. It's perfectly suited to Byron, green wall and all!

The playroom:

YES they have a lot of toys.

YES it's nice and colourful.

YES they play in there.

YES it gets very messy.

Our mailbox:

We installed it today.

Now it feels like home.

So there you have it...a snippet of our new home. I walk around each night wondering if it's really ours. I know it's ours....by golly I've worked so hard for it...it's just that, we have waited so long for it that it's hard to believe it's real. You know? I guess it is. I gotta go back to work tomorrow to pay for it. Sigh. I wish I could stay on holidays forever!

I'm back!

2008-06-08T09:47:00.000+10:00

On account of wireless, we have the internet. Finally.

Now to try and catch up on the countless events in my life that have occurred over the last 2 and a bit weeks – there have been many!!!

I guess I better go and take some photos of the house now….

Internetless still....

2008-06-05T16:07:00.002+10:00

It seems we've moved to a location that doesn't have access to ADSL. I just got an email from the Internet provider I signed up for which says they are unable to proceed with our ADSL application. Apparently, "the line you supplied failed due to transmission loss being to high".

Arggghhh!

We have moved literally 5 minutes up the road with the same phone number yet we can't get ADSL Broadband. I'm about to lose my mind...Trevor included. Seriously, it's getting beyond a joke.

I have officially gone 2 weeks without Internet (aside from popping on for a quick email check at friends places or the local Internet cafe) and I feel so lost and out of touch. I don't think I have ever watched so much TV in a long while. Look it's probably a good thing, being without the Internet. It's possibly a break I needed (although I didn't think I did). I go back to work on Tuesday...sigh...so I guess I'll be back on-line then. As for my blog, well, I have so much to update on - moving, turning 30, my party, the freakin mouse (yes you read right...a MOUSE) that has made it self at home in my 2 week old house and little stuff with my kids - but that'll have to wait.

Back to the Internet...it seems wireless is our only option...either that or dial up (WHICH IS NOT AN OPTION!). So, it's back to the drawing board to find another provider.

OK better keep moving. I'm at a friends house - I just did her maternity shoot - and need to go and get the kids.

I guess I will see you on Tuesday when I'm back in touch with the world.

xx

Sob Sob

2008-05-29T14:14:00.001+10:00

Still no internet.

I'm dying here.

Another 5 days without it.

1.20 secs left on my internet cafe.

I'll be back I promise! All is well.

See you...

2008-05-21T17:07:00.001+10:00

When we chat again, I'll be 30 - eeekkkk - and living, albeit unpacking, in my new house.

Bye for now - what will I do without the internet?!

Arrrggghhh!

2008-05-20T15:38:00.001+10:00

Why am I not excited about my new house?

Why am I not excited about turning 30?

Why hasn't my house sold yet?

Why is work so crazy?

Why oh why oh why...it's the story of my life at the moment.

Sigh.

Photo Shoot

2008-05-18T22:08:00.011+10:00

I met up with some photographers from a forum I frequent today for a shoot.

I took the kids along to use as models (and Trevor to babysit - he was oh so happy about that). It was a great day. The kids were good (on account of a very big big of M&Ms). I got to practice on a couple of other children which is always fun.

Here are some form today…

Breathe…Breathe…Breathe

2008-05-16T23:10:00.002+10:00

I could scream - in fact I already have.

I could cry - opps done that.

We went to the house last night because I wanted to see the finished tiling. The tiling’s done but I didn’t care about that. All I cared about was the fact that when I walked into the garage I couldn’t see the granite. Our beautiful big 2 metre piece of granite (for the study nook) was gone, as well as all our off cuts (to be used for chopping boards).

I was frantically trying to ring the builder (at 7.00pm at night – do you think he was answering?!!), the kids were screaming and running around like mad people, Trevor was being a dick head (plus I didn’t want to talk to him – he had been to the house on three separate occasions prior and didn’t even notice the granite was missing – it was the first thing I noticed) all while trying to stay composed and to breathe.

That’s the story of my life at the moment…breathe…breathe…breathe.

My emotional status is literally hanging by a thread these days. I’m so stressed it’s beyond a joke. It’s scary in actual fact. I’m not normally a ‘stressful’ person but I’m literally at breaking point at the moment.

I’ve not really talked about it much mostly because I’m so busy that I haven’t really got around to it. There is also the fact I just don’t want to address it. The new house; the unsold house; working fulltime; stretched finances; a misbehaving child…its all taking a toll.

I don’t know how much more I can handle. Everyday there seems to be another drama or stressor whether it be something at the house (like the lost granite) or something to do with our current house (which hasn’t sold – no. 1 stressor for sure), a deadline at work (it’s crazy there at the moment) or Byron not listening (happening all the time). There isn’t a day that goes by event/stress free.

There is so much I want to say; so much I have on my chest but I don’t have the energy to talk. I turn 30 in one week today. To be honest I feel every bit my 30 years. Literally, over the last year or two I have aged (physically, mentally and emotionally). I have felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and with each passing day I feel like I’m sinking further and further.

I know my life isn’t ‘hard’…it’s far from it. I have a family that love me and for peat’s sake I’m moving into a brand new house in a week (but I tell myself I’m certainly going to be paying for it). It’s still hard though…hard for me and that's what matters in my life.

The cost of living is hard for a start. My mortgage rate goes up monthly (irrespective of whether the reserve bank puts up the cash rate), I have bills coming out of my ears and not enough money to fund them until I sell the house (which isn’t happening).

I’m not spending near enough time with my kids. I’m frustrated and they can sense that. Byron’s behaviour of late is far from desirable. He doesn’t listen. He’s loud and a smart mouth. I need to work on that. I need to pull the reigns in and I need to do it now.

Everything is now. Now. Now. Now.

Sigh (I do that a lot lately…literally).

I’ll be ok. I’ll just keep moving. I’ll just keep going and hope that once I get in the house and sell the other one that things will get better. Things will settle down. In the meantime I’ll remember to breathe and to do it deeply.

…and just so you know…the builder advised me this morning that his labourer had accidentally ‘thrown’ away our granite last Friday. Apparently, he (the stupid labourer) *thought* it was rubbish. What a freakin idiot! The builder apologised and said he would reimburse us. All well and good but it’s the inconvenience that hurts more although a $900 loss isn't something to scoff at.

Mother's Day 2008 Pt 2

2008-05-11T22:40:00.003+10:00

Mother’s day didn’t end with Ferrero Rochers or chocolate milk! No-sir-ree. There was brunch at the Bayside.

It was the most glorious May day today. It felt like spring but alas it is autumn (which means winter is on the way). It was such a great morning. The kids played with Nanna and my sister but best of all I got to snap some photos which is my favourite thing to do – very fitting for mother’s day don’t you think?

Here are a few (Byron wasn't as accommodating as I would have liked)...

(My fave...)