The Wedding

Stay tuned...I am just leaving a space for the wedding story (just don't have the energy right at this moment - will be back tomorrow hopefully). Let’s just say, it was a lovely day (apart from the pouring rain!!!).

Byronism of the Day...

The bridal party had just arrived at the venue (via water taxi) and we met Byron, who was a page boy, there. We were talking about how we looked (the bridesmaids) when Byron turned and said to me "your not beautiful mummy, your a princess". Let’s just say, there were a lot of awwwwhhhhsss, none louder of course then mine. I knew he was born for a reason – to boost my ego!

My Speech....

Tomorrow is my besty's wedding...the one I thought I might ruin by either not showing up - ie having my baby, or not fitting the bridesmaid dress because I was too pregnant. I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to know that 1) I will be attending the wedding in my capacity as maid of honour and 2) the dress fits. All I need worry about now is giving my speech and making sure my boobs don't leak everywhere!

Here is my speech...

Today I am speaking on behalf of all the bridesmaids. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Nicole. I have had the great pleasure of knowing T for the last 12 years. For most of those 12 years I have considered her my very best friend and I’d like to think she considered me hers.

We would like to start off by saying Congratulations to T and J. We would also like to thank you both for asking us to be part of your special day (not that you really had much of a choice). It meant so much to me, and no doubt the other bridesmaids, to watch my best friend, marry the man of her dreams this afternoon.

We would also like everyone to join us in commending the best man and the groomsmen for their stellar performance today. You did an amazing job and we know the Bride & Groom truly appreciate all your support.

There are many people giving speeches today so we are going to keep it short. This is by no means a reflection on our feelings for T or J. On the contrary, there are so many things I (and all the bridesmaids) want to say and we know that there are not enough pages to fill or time to speak. So, we are going to break tradition a little bit and not say a speech about T and J but rather a poem to you both.

Wonderful Wedding Wishes

A girl dreams about her wedding
-that blissfully special day.
So much excitement and anxiety
Over what to do and say.

You've found your perfect man
Who loves and cherishes you.
Your loving vows unite your souls,
Creating one heart shared by two.

Marriage is a promise to compromise
No matter how great or small.
Though life is never perfect,
True love surpasses all.

Give freely and unconditionally.
Enjoy a life filled with mutual caring.
We wish you a wonderful marriage
With sweet joys that make life endearing.

As you enter this wonderful new time in your life,
When you make J lucky by becoming his wife,
We wish you all the happiness that the world can provide,
May good luck and fortune be always at your side.

May your marriage be happy, healthy and blessed,
Today and forever, we wish you nothing but the best.

To conclude, I came across a quote that I would like to share with you. I particularly like this quote, T, as it applies to you and J as a couple but it also equally applies to you and I as friends.

"As you sit side by side through this roller coaster of life remember to scream from the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh through the loop-the-loops and enjoy every twist and turn for the ride is better because you share it together."

Night Sweats - Gross!

The first night I spent in hospital (the night I got induced) I woke up about 4 times sweating quite badly (especially around my neck, back, tummy, legs – hey everywhere). I thought it was those annoying plastic sheets on the hospital beds (you know the ones that protect the mattress from blood and the like) that was causing me to sweat profusely whilst sleeping. The following nights I spent in hospital (after delivery) were the same. Every time I woke up to feed (or because someone else’s baby was screaming) I felt disgustingly hot and not to mention, sweaty. I continued to think it was those darn hospital sheets, so I removed the plastic sheet thingy from the bed (yep took it off) thinking this would solve the problem. It didn’t – I still woke up sweating.

It goes without saying that I couldn’t wait to get home to my own bed, with my own sheets because OBVIOUSLY it was the hospital etc that was causing me to be so hot. Wrong...the sweating continued when I got home and has persisted every night since Lily was born. It wasn’t until I was reading a book about breastfeeding (research on my other problem area) that I came across a mention of night sweats. That’s when it clicked...I was suffering (or am suffering) from night sweats.

I had never heard or been told that you could suffer from night sweats after having a baby. I knew that it was normal to feel like you had a bun in the oven when pregnant, but not once the baby was cooked and out. Dr Google doesn’t really have a whole lot to offer on the subject. It does however shed a little bit of light on the issue (enough at least to know its normal and that I am not alone or suffering early menopause).

For those who don’t know...

What it is: Postpartum Sweating aka Night Sweats - The tendency to sweat like you’ve just run a marathon, even though you may be sitting still, or sleeping.

What causes it: Your hormones again, as they instruct your body to rid itself of all those extra fluids it was formerly using to nourish your baby. However, even after the water weight is gone, you may continue to sweat more than usual if you're nursing; theories suggest it is related to hormonal and metabolic changes associated with breastfeeding. Apparently, the emotional stress of new motherhood might cause you to sweat more, too, and though no one knows for sure, it's possible that the dramatic drop in estrogen that occurs right after delivery also contributes. Gee its nice to know there isn’t a definitive cause.

How long will it last: Postpartum sweating can last several weeks after birth, though it tends to last longer for breastfeeding women.

WOW...now that I know what it is, there is no ‘cure’ or treatment available and it will last for a little while longer, I guess I can rest easy – well try to anyway. Might try putting a towel on the bed; maybe the ceiling fan on; sleeping in the nud or just grinning and bearing it!!!

Two weeks!

For the record today marked my due date - week 40 of my pregnancy. I am a proud advocate that 38 weeks of pregnancy is enough.

3.36pm today marked the two week anniversary since Lily’s arrival and what a blur those two weeks have been. It honestly feels like yesterday that I gave birth – not physically so, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. To think that it has been 2 weeks since I was pregnant...2 weeks since I pushed that 36cms head out (with no drugs!)...2 weeks since Byron became a big brother (and I became the mother of two) and 2 weeks (well not quite) since I bought her home, is inconceivable (well to me anyway).

I guess this is due to the fact that so much has happened in these past two weeks that I really haven’t had the chance to just sit back, exhale and take heed of what I have been through since the birth. There have been many hospital visits, numerous visitors (although no where near as many as there was with Byron), a great deal of frustration (due to breastfeeding) and of course much love (what’s not to love about my little Lily).

Trevor went back to work today (actually it was Friday but Byron was at kindy so technically I only had Lily) so today was the first time I was ‘alone’ with 2 kids! This was a little scary seeing as we had a doctor’s visit and I wanted to go to the clinic. This meant obviously that I couldn’t just stay home, and stay safe so to speak. I actually had to pack the kids in the car (by myself) and venture out. To make matters worse, today was a freezing, wet, dismal day in Brisbane (most certainly out of the ordinary). So not only did I have to venture out for the first time with 2 kids, I had to do it in the rain!

First on the agenda was a visit to the doctors to check on Lily. Typical Byron style – he mucks around whilst having the consultation with the doctor (I think it had something to do with the jelly bean factor) and I had Lily so I found it difficult to ‘chastise’ (mental note – must learn to adapt). On a separate note, the doctor was happy with Lily’s eye and said all was healing well. Plus her colour was good. All in all, she was extremely happy with Lily’s progress.

Following the doctor’s visit we headed off to the early childhood clinic to have Lily weighed and to discuss further, with the lactation consultant, my breastfeeding issues. There weren’t to many dramas at this visit – I guess they are used to little kids and offered to put on a video for Byron while I was ‘tutored’ on the breastfeeding front.

Speaking of breastfeeding; it seems that I am taking one step forward and two steps backwards (I feel like I am getting no where). As it stands today, my left nipple is grazed and my right nipple is cracked (and on occasion bled a few times) . To say I have felt frustrated now and then over the past two weeks is an understatement. Frustration, disillusionment, disappointment, sadness have made there way to my neck of the woods – Why can’t I get it? Why can’t Lily get it? Why is this happening this time and not with Byron? What am I doing wrong? I know ‘we’ will eventually get it which is great and why I am persevering. It just seems like a long (and painful) road at the moment, which I guess is completely understandable.

Whilst I type this entry, my little Lily sits here on my lap, wide awake looking around. She doesn’t have a lot of wake time during a 24 hour period. Her wake time consists of around 1 – 1½ hours per day. With Byron I couldn’t wait til he reached the ‘next stage’ whether that be smiling, rolling over, crawling, walking etc. With Lily however, I am just making the most of this tiny little bundle (who wears 00000’s – 0000’s are to big!) sitting happily on my lap because I am so conscious of the fact they grow up so quickly.

No more hospital visits!

I am pleased to advise that the days of hospital visits are behind us...at least for the next 5 weeks anyway.

On Tuesday (5th September) we visited the hospital for the 4th time since we were discharged from hospital. This time it was for another ophthalmologist appointment and the ultrasound of Lily’s kidney.

The ophthalmologist was very happy with her eye indicating he didn’t think there would be any permanent damage – which was music to my ears. All we have to do now is continue with the drops 4 times a day for the next week. If she does get a similar infection in the not to distant future we are to bring her back.

The ultrasound went well. Although, Lily didn’t particularly like it – it seems she just hates being ‘exposed to the elements’.

Today, we had the follow up visit at the hospital (visit #5) to find out more about her dilation problem and the results of the ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed:

• The kidneys are normal in contour and texture for age.
• There is dilation of the pelvis on the left side (0.83cms)
• The left ureter is visible in the pelvis and appears to peristalses actively and collapse on screening.
• The right upper collecting system is also prominent with less marked dilation then the left (0.58cms)
• The right ureter appears normal.
• The bladder appears normal.

What does this all mean???? In short, the paediatrician noted it was good news. Particularly, she was really happy the dilation had reduced by half of what it was in utero (which was apparently more serious then we were led to believe). She noted that, if there was to be a problem, it appears it rests with the left side. At this stage, it looks like the valves connecting the bladder and the ureters are under developed. It is often the case that children will grow out of this at a later stage.

For now, the course of action will be to continue with the antibiotics (which will reduce the chances of urinary track infections). When Lily is 6 weeks old we will have to go back to the hospital for a MCU (Micturating Cysto-Urethrogram) – English: x-ray taken of the bladder and urethra whilst the patient urinates; uses dye. This test should enable the doctors to see exactly what the problem might be. We will then have a follow up appointment to discuss the results and what future action, if any, is required.

For now, it is just a matter of watching her closely to see that she doesn’t develop any urinary track infections.

I for one am extremely relieved that she is doing ok. Lets face it, things could have been a while lot worse with the eye infection and the dilation problem. If anything, visiting the children’s hospital this last week has made me appreciate the fact that I have 2 healthy happy children with no long lasting health problems. For that I am so very thankful.

Moving on...I might have mentioned this already...but gee my boobies are sore.

I visited the lactation consultant yesterday in the hope that maybe she could wave her magic wand and things would be peachy – wishful thinking on my part.

After flashing my boobs to a total stranger (the loss of dignity continues well after child birth) I was advised:

• My bra was well fitting (good to know)
• There didn’t appear to be any infections in the nipple (to my shock horror she noted Golden Staff loves a warm moist nipple!!!)
• I have good milk supply .

Examination of Lily’s mouth revealed good tongue control with no apparent jaw problems which would impede breast feeding.

During the consultation I feed Lily (on the left side for the first time in 2 days without the use of a nipple shield). For what it is worth, the feed didn’t go to bad (by that I mean, the pain wasn’t toe curling and there was no bleeding involved). It appears Lily attaches correctly then moves her lower jaw upwards closer to the nipple, which is causing all the pain and grazing of the nipples. I was advised to take her off each time she does this and then reattach her in the hope that we can 'retrain her' (so much for half hour feeds!).

I left the consultation feeling a whole lot more confident in my ability to breastfeed her. However, this completely disappeared when it came time to feed on the right side. For some reason, my right side seems to be more of a problem then the left. After an hour, I managed to feed her, however I was completely (as I imagine she was) unsatisfied with how things went. Things just went from bad to worse during the course of the day and night. I can tell you...starting a feed at 2.30am and finishing at 4.00am ain’t my cup of tea.

After much frustration on my part and Lily’s, tears and tantrums, I decided it was time to call the consultant again for a little bit of guidance (at that point I think I really needed some reassurance that it would be ok). In short she said breastfeeding is a ‘holistic’ exercise and frustration on both our parts isn’t helping at all. She noted feeds shouldn’t take any longer the one hour from start to finish. So in our case, she suggested that we try for half an hour (or until things get to frustrating) and if things fail that I should express and feed the remaining feed to her in a bottle. Alternatively, she suggested I stick with the nipple shields (at lest on the right breast) until things settle down.

I have taken her advice on board. Here's hoping my boobies get a reprieve shortly.

Oh my boobies hurt!

Well the week since I gave birth has flown by. I can’t believe Lily is a week old already. To tell you the truth, I am kind of sad. As silly as that sounds, I am. I am sad the anticipation of waiting to meet my little one has gone. The flurry of excitement when they arrive has gone. My pregnant belly (with baby in it – not the flab) has gone (sounds strange I know). It goes without saying however that the sadness is replaced with joy, happiness, exhilaration and love for my little Lily.

Considering all the little health hiccups we have had along the way, Lily is such a little cherub. She hardly cries at all and just sleeps. She has a few moments during the day when she might open her eyes. Those moments are few but a highlight of my day. She stares up at your face, making little movements with her hands and mouth. Just beautiful! Her eyes light up when Bryon gives her kisses or when he talks to her. She seems to know him so well.

There is really only one major drama at the moment and that is centred on breastfeeding. At hospital she was such a good little feeder – attachment was perfect and there really wasn’t a lot of pain. As I may have mentioned, I have been suffering from a viral infection which it seems I might have passed on to Lily – well at least the nasal congestion part anyway. The poor little dear is all choked up and having lots of trouble breathing through her nose, especially at night (which is how newborn babies breathe).

This in turn is causing major problems on the feeding front. It seems that her inability to breathe properly through her nose has led to incorrect attachment (which for breastfeeding is tragic!). My poor poor boobies are suffering beyond belief. So much so, that last night I resorted to nipple shields (which were ok) and today I had to resort to expressing and feeding her through a bottle. This whole situation is so new to me because I had absolutely no dramas feeding Byron. I didn’t even know what a cracked nipple was let alone what it felt like – let me tell you…it ain’t nice! Try getting some sand paper, rubbing it against your nipple causing some crazing and bleeding along the way. Add some sucking motion and voila you have pain!!!

I took her to the doctors today and she expects her little snuffly nose should be gone in a few days. Until that time, she ain’t going anywhere near my nipple without a nipple shield, that’s for sure. I have an appointment with a lactation consultant on Wednesday and I am hoping she can give me some tips for feeding snuffly nosed babies. Until then its a matter of grinning and bearing it.

Whilst at the doctors, Lily had her neonatal examination (day 5-10). For the record, at day 7, Lily had regained most of her birth weight, weighing in at 3.3kgs (which according to the doctor is excellent given her health problems). Her head still measured 36cms. Her height strangely enough measured 50cms (and that was a stretch) which means the midwife made a mistake with her height measurement at birth (I knew she was smaller then Byron!!).

I wonder what week 2 will harbour????

Rough few days...

Well it has been a rough few days to say the least.

In short Lily contracted Golden Staf in her left eye which has required multiple visits to the hospital and doctors; Lily was jaundiced; Byron has lost his listening ears again and is being cheeky; I have a viral chest infection and to top it off, I have aggravated (quite severely) my SPD. I will fill in the finer details later as, you could probably appreciate, it has been a rough few days and I just don't have the energy.

For now here are a few pics of my little princess...

Byronism of the day...

I was telling Byron that I needed to go and change Lily’s nappy. He asked why and I said because it is dirty. He responded with, "make sure you take the poo out of her belly button!". No matter how many times we tell him, he seems to think that Lily’s umbilical cord is "poo".