I had the opportunity to take some pictures of Miss S a few weeks ago. She was all dressed up in her ballet costume and I can honestly say, without doubt, she is the sweetest little ballerina I ever did see! With her hot pink tutu and her proper shoes she was ready to show me some steps.
Just beautiful!
(he he he she would make a beautiful bride for my Byron)
Byron would have to be one of the most photogenic people I have ever seen. This kid seriously doesn’t take a bad photo…unless of course his eyes are shut or he’s running away (which happens often). Even when he tries to be serious he looks gorgeous. When he laughs he looks gorgeous. It’s a ‘win’ ‘win’ with Byron!
He makes my job so easy…
(These shots have a vintage 'washed out' type feel to them...that is the desired effect)
You probably thought my blog would become merely an exhibit for my photos huh?! No such luck I’m afraid – still my outlet for a whine every now and then. This week it is especially the case – I need a good old whinge, been feeling rather flat and down of late, although I’m not sure this entry counts as a whinge. Perhaps it does, but I don’t see it that way.
Continuing on from my last entry…
It would be stupid, irresponsible, selfish, foolish and possibly rash to even consider having a third child with the way things are at the moment – with interest rates, working fulltime, Trevor not around in the mornings and generally doing it tough with the ol’ dollar.
Right from when Lily was born I knew exactly when I wanted to go back for number three. I wanted a different time of year baby – seeing as how I had two September bubs already. I wanted a winter bub or a baby born before June 30 (to do with schooling years). I wanted just under 3 years gap between her and my last. I wanted to have all my children by the time I was 30.
Sigh.
This will not happen - a decision based purely on finances. I want to relish my final opportunity as a mother of a new baby. I don’t want to have to stress about how much time I can or more to the point ‘can’t’ have off. I don’t want to go back to work the minute it’s born – I want to enjoy it; I want the whole family to enjoy it.
It would be selfish to bring another child into this world at this point in time, when there is a good chance I’ll get sick like I did with the other two; that I may not be able to work during pregnancy like I did with the other two; that the financial burden would be just too great at this point in time. It was manageable (barely) with the other two but the mortgage just wasn’t what it will be now; interest rates weren’t what they were now…things have changed). Plus, Trevor is not around in the mornings as he was in the past, which is not a good thing, especially when suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum and trying to manage two other children off to kindy – Gosh, I couldn’t even manage Byron on my own in the morning I was just too sick.
So it is with much sadness and a heavy heart that I (Trevor has agreed) have decided to put off having number three for another 12 months or so. Our plans to extend the family are officially on hold.
Look, I know it’s the right decision. It’s the right thing for my kids and it’s the right thing for me. I’m only 29 (not quite 30 he he he) so there is time on our side. Like I said, I want to relish all that there is to offer with having another child – a sweet baby in the house. At this point in time, pending a lotto win, it doesn't seem possible - bloody Hyperemesis!
Sigh.
It’s been twelve long (very long) months since I started working full time. Technically, by all accounts, it has flown by pretty quickly. I guess by ‘long’, I meant it has been a rather extended or protracted period. I’m tired of working day in, day out – every day. It’s not my ideal and I certainly didn’t think I would still be working five days a week, one year on.
I neglected to mention it, because I figured there was no point when it couldn’t happen, but I was advised by my boss about seven weeks ago now that I could in fact drop back to four days whenever I wanted to. The harsh reality is, in the current climate of interest rate hike after rate hike (plus the fact we are paying way too much money on mortgages until we get into this house), we just can not afford for me, as the ‘bread winner’, to drop that day.
The ironic thing about all this is I have wanted the four days since the day I *had* to go back to work. I dreamed of working one less day and spending it with my kids. I waited patiently for the opportunity to arise. However, as I waited the interest rates kept rising and kept rising and well…still keep rising so it’s out of our reach at the moment and probably for a good while yet. Just today I got an email saying that our interest rate was going up again by 0.45% - not by the cash rate increase of 0.25% but practically double - thought it worth mentioning that we can’t fix our rate until the land mortgage and construction loan are rolled into one loan which can’t occur until the house is finished – as we wait, it keeps rising!
Since I started back at work (and we purchased our land and started our building journey) the interest rates have gone up five times – each time destroying the tiny bit of hope I had left of being able to work less and spend more time with my kids.
I just feel incredibly pi*sed off at the government, reserve bank, economy - what ever - at the moment. I resent that the cost of living is so high – that petrol, child care and grocery costs in addition to mortgage hikes are precluding me from time with my children.
It sucks. Really it does.
So, no doubt twelve months will turn into 24 months and then 36 months. I don’t see anything changing on the horizon any time soon. That said, I still have my dream of doing photography and hopefully *touch wood* I can live the dream in the not to distant future and get more time with my kids. There will always be a need for my ‘real job’ but maybe the extent of the need will lessen. Who knows?
I simply cannot decide which I prefer...the black and white because it is so striking or the colour because it makes her eyes more evident (if possible).
Hmmm....decisions, decisions!
I promise that’s it…the lollypops are gone – in the bin forever (or what was left after Trevor devoured them). I just wanted to have one more crack at it. I had to use the ‘blue’ wall. How excited was I when I also discovered there was a ‘yellow’ wall too.
These photos have an urban feel...kinda funky but still fun. I like that.
…now to find a new genre for my next lot of photos.
