I HATE money but LOVE my mum!

I hate money! I hate how it controls things and I hate what it can do to relationships.

Friday night and Saturday were horrible. Trevor was so angsty. He was in a permanent bad mood. You couldn't talk to him and there was definitely no reasoning. For his sake (because I'm a nice person), I let it go as I could only presume it related to his 'unemployment'.

Today is Wednesday, day 3 of his hiatus (if you can call it that). The washing is getting done a little quicker, the kitchen looks cleaner then usual but still there is no job on the horizon. I actually don't think he has any idea what he wants to do. The trouble is we don?t have the time (or money) for him to sit around waiting for something to land in his lap.

Trevor isn't the chattiest guy around so it is sometimes difficult to get 'things' out of him. He doesn't particularly want to talk about it whereas that is all I want to do. I want to discuss plans of actions; what he has done today; what is looking good. But no, it is like drawing blood out of a stone. I know it must be affecting him greatly; his self esteem and the like but it is affecting me too. I hate being the strong one all time time. I hate being the worrier. I don't want those roles anymore.

I hate money!!

On a different note (but money related)...I was talking to mum yesterday when she handed me a deposit slip for $2000. I was like what the??? What is this for? She said it was for childcare and that she had paid our outstanding fees (back on the 29th of June) . I could have cried right there and then (I did shed a little tear). Mum doesn't have a lot of money which makes it even harder to accept. She said though that she wanted to help and knows just how much child care is killing us financially at the moment. Trevor's draw hit the ground when I showed him the slip. He couldn't believe it.

I always knew I had the greatest mum in the world (and it's not because she paid the fees but that is the icing) . She is my rock; my shoulder; the only person who I can truly discuss, and who understands these issues. She will listen to the cows come home!

I love you mum xxooxx