A Letter to My Daughter

To my dearest daughter,

Today is your birthday, your very first birthday. Happy Birthday my darling...

I remember the moment I found out I was pregnant with you. It was around the 4th pregnancy test in as many days, but that doesn’t include the five or so that I did, in addition, just to confirm it was really true. The first person I rang to tell was my mother (your Nanna) other than your daddy or course. I was thrilled to pieces to be pregnant again after my previous miscarriage. As you grew inside me, all the while causing an array of illnesses and ailments (which I would happily take again for you) I knew you were destined to be here on this earth with me. From the moment I found out I was having a girl, I couldn’t have been happier. The thought of pretty dresses, dolls and tea sets was something I was looking forward to as a mother. But most of all, the thing I was looking forward to (or are, given your still a little young for most) is shopping trips, coffee breaks and telephone gas bags with my daughter – all of which I share with your Nanna.

You arrived 2 weeks early after an inducement courtesy of those ailments I mentioned earlier. My labour was drug free and tough (and that is putting it mildly – I’d prefer not to scare you with that one). You arrived covered in vernix and as pretty and dainty as ever. Your little hands and feet were tiny but your head – well that wasn’t so tiny. As a newborn you had the finest down of hair, the sweetest lips and the softest skin I have ever felt in my life. Life at that stage was a little up and down for you and for me. There was an array of hospital visits and medical appointments and then there were the breastfeeding dramas. Things were tough in the beginning but we got through it…we came out the other end and here we are today celebrating your first birthday.

I am amazed at how quickly this first year went. I knew it would having experienced it with Byron, but sadly that wasn’t enough preparation. I shudder at the thought of you growing up so fast. From the tiny baby I ventured home all love struck from the hospital with to the now mischievous not so tiny baby girl or soon to be toddler.

You’re a gentle, happy soul full of life. Your eyes, like your brothers, are evidence of your state of being. You are yet too young to talk, although you seem to think you can, so your big blue eyes are your windows to your soul. Your ‘real tear’ cry always gets me – your just lucky that tears come standard in your model – I’m still shocked at how easily you can generate a tear (it must be a girl thing).

I don’t know if it comes standard in a second child but you are generally self sufficient in the ‘keeping oneself entertained department’. If your favourite person (that would be Byron) is not around then you will happily roam the house searching for the next adventure. The other day I caught you hoeing into Byron’s left over vegemite and cheese sandwich he happily left on his table which brings me to your favourite pastime – eating! You love to eat, you will eat just about anything in sight and I hate to say it but you eat more then your soon to be four year old brother. Hey, I’m not complaining it makes life so much easier when one of my children doesn’t argue with the fact food is a staple of life.

You recently discovered the tantrum and I know I won’t be saying this in a years time – but it is so adorably cute the way you wave your arms around, or hit the ground or kick your legs…it cracks me up in side every time.

This year you have discovered life and all there is on offer for someone so young. You have taken your first breath, eaten your first bite of food, smiled, laughed and clapped for the first time. This year has seen you crawl and stand up assisted. You are yet to walk but I can wait for that one!

I love the way you giggle when your feet are tickled after your shoes and socks have been removed. I love the way you bury your head to the side of your shoulder when you know you are being cheeky. I love the way you clap your hands the minute you hear the song ‘if you’re happy and you know it’. I love the way you rub the bunny ears of your little blanket along your face. I love the greeting you give me in the morning when I come and pick you up out of your cot. I love the way you insist on feeding me bits of your food unsatisfied until I take at least one ‘proper’ bite. I just love you to bits and best of all, I know you love me and for that I am grateful. I didn’t realise the power of a mother’s love until I had children. It is one of those emotions incapable of definition and expression; it is something I hope you get the opportunity to one day experience. Thanks to you and your brother, it is something I have the pleasure of knowing.

I have learned many things from you this past year and am sure that with the passing years I will learn much more. My delight of having you as my daughter is immeasurable. I have gained endless pleasure by your sheer presence in my life.

So, my dearest daughter on this your first birthday, I take this opportunity to thank you for the gifts you have provided me…the gift of happiness, love and serenity. You have a fan, a number one supporter for life and that is my promise to you on your birthday. I will be by your side for your first step, your first stumble, your first haircut and as many cuddles as you need. May you enter into your second year with as much zest and wonderment for life as you have in your first. The world is your oyster as they say – open for you to discover.

With much love (and kisses)
Mummy
xxx