You probably thought my blog would become merely an exhibit for my photos huh?! No such luck I’m afraid – still my outlet for a whine every now and then. This week it is especially the case – I need a good old whinge, been feeling rather flat and down of late, although I’m not sure this entry counts as a whinge. Perhaps it does, but I don’t see it that way.
Continuing on from my last entry…
It would be stupid, irresponsible, selfish, foolish and possibly rash to even consider having a third child with the way things are at the moment – with interest rates, working fulltime, Trevor not around in the mornings and generally doing it tough with the ol’ dollar.
Right from when Lily was born I knew exactly when I wanted to go back for number three. I wanted a different time of year baby – seeing as how I had two September bubs already. I wanted a winter bub or a baby born before June 30 (to do with schooling years). I wanted just under 3 years gap between her and my last. I wanted to have all my children by the time I was 30.
Sigh.
This will not happen - a decision based purely on finances. I want to relish my final opportunity as a mother of a new baby. I don’t want to have to stress about how much time I can or more to the point ‘can’t’ have off. I don’t want to go back to work the minute it’s born – I want to enjoy it; I want the whole family to enjoy it.
It would be selfish to bring another child into this world at this point in time, when there is a good chance I’ll get sick like I did with the other two; that I may not be able to work during pregnancy like I did with the other two; that the financial burden would be just too great at this point in time. It was manageable (barely) with the other two but the mortgage just wasn’t what it will be now; interest rates weren’t what they were now…things have changed). Plus, Trevor is not around in the mornings as he was in the past, which is not a good thing, especially when suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum and trying to manage two other children off to kindy – Gosh, I couldn’t even manage Byron on my own in the morning I was just too sick.
So it is with much sadness and a heavy heart that I (Trevor has agreed) have decided to put off having number three for another 12 months or so. Our plans to extend the family are officially on hold.
Look, I know it’s the right decision. It’s the right thing for my kids and it’s the right thing for me. I’m only 29 (not quite 30 he he he) so there is time on our side. Like I said, I want to relish all that there is to offer with having another child – a sweet baby in the house. At this point in time, pending a lotto win, it doesn't seem possible - bloody Hyperemesis!
Sigh.
Friday, March 14, 2008
On Hold
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5 comments:
I know that it wasn't in your master plan, but you've made the right decision.
I wanted to have both my kids by 30, yet due to financial and personal issues that has not occured and I will only start trying for kids during my 30th year. Everyone else is years ahead of me in that department. I feel like I did at school, always the last to do everything (cause I was the youngest).
At the end of the day, I want to bring my kids into the world when Jason and I are personally and financially able to give them everything. At least you already have your pigeon pair!
I know you've made the right decision for you and your family, a hard decision but one that shows what a great mother (and wife) you are putting the good of everyone else before yourself - but I have to agree with you it right royally sucks that our lives are ruled by interest rates, finances and the like.
Can't wait to follow your journey through another pregnancy - when the time is right xx
That is such an unselfish and heartbreaking decision - and you are making the right one. Enjoy your new home and prepare it for #3 when they do eventually arrive!
Mel xo
That has to be the most unselfish, and the most considerate, and loving choice you and Trevor could make right now. You would never be able to enjoy and savour the pure beauty and unconditional love of having another child with the way things are at the moment. It will happen when it's meant to happen, then you will be able to give that child all that he/she deserves. Let me tell you, if the child has half as much love, happiness, security, safety and joy that you have given Byron and Lily, they will be the luckiest child in the world. You were born to be a mother, and you will be again in the near future. I just hope that if I'm half the mother you are showering my kids with the love, patience, laughter, security and guidence you give your children I know Ashlie and Bronte will have a head start in life. Again, the most unsefish and right decision by a woman whom I believe mothers should aspire to be.
Thank you for all your sweet comments everyone. Nic xx
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