The seed of doubt!

05/05/2006, 11:48 PM

Over the last few days a seed of doubt has been planted in my mind; that the baby in my belly is not a girl at all. It all started with a post I saw about ultrasounds getting the sex wrong. Naively, I really thought it was a myth, that sonographers (those people who are supposed to be experienced, talented and adept at their field) could get it wrong so often. But I guess it happens. I just don’t want it to happen to me (or anyone else).

I was given a 99% prediction that the baby in my belly is a girl. A girl!!! Yippee!!! Now I just can’t stop thinking that she was wrong. What would I know you say? Nothing at all – I couldn’t even see what she was looking at, let alone provide a diagnosis on sex. I guess I am being paranoid, but with good reason. Isn’t it just that though, a prediction. A subjective analysis of what the sonographer sees on the screen? I’d like to hope that it is an objective ‘prognosis’ based on sound medical judgement.

I have been reassured by my DH and mother and trusty EB friends that there is a 99% chance (that’s a 99% chance) it is a girl. I know this; I just can’t stop wondering about that 1%. I guess I will just have to wait and see. Really though, with all that planning and waiting to meet my little baby girl, I don’t think I could handle the 1% outcome. As I say to Trevor, who so calmly says it’s a girl... "will you pay my psychiatric bills if they have got it wrong?". He laughs it off...but really I think I would be devastated, and I am not ashamed to admit it. I just hope I don't have to face that reality.

On a positive note, we decided on Lily for the name. Orignally I had decided on spelling the name Lilli, but after much debate and comments from my mother (to the effect that she had to spell her name all her life because it wasn’t spelt conventionally) we will take the traditional approach to the name. I am happy with that.

I can’t wait to meet Lily in 18 weeks time.