Two weeks!

For the record today marked my due date - week 40 of my pregnancy. I am a proud advocate that 38 weeks of pregnancy is enough.

3.36pm today marked the two week anniversary since Lily’s arrival and what a blur those two weeks have been. It honestly feels like yesterday that I gave birth – not physically so, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. To think that it has been 2 weeks since I was pregnant...2 weeks since I pushed that 36cms head out (with no drugs!)...2 weeks since Byron became a big brother (and I became the mother of two) and 2 weeks (well not quite) since I bought her home, is inconceivable (well to me anyway).

I guess this is due to the fact that so much has happened in these past two weeks that I really haven’t had the chance to just sit back, exhale and take heed of what I have been through since the birth. There have been many hospital visits, numerous visitors (although no where near as many as there was with Byron), a great deal of frustration (due to breastfeeding) and of course much love (what’s not to love about my little Lily).

Trevor went back to work today (actually it was Friday but Byron was at kindy so technically I only had Lily) so today was the first time I was ‘alone’ with 2 kids! This was a little scary seeing as we had a doctor’s visit and I wanted to go to the clinic. This meant obviously that I couldn’t just stay home, and stay safe so to speak. I actually had to pack the kids in the car (by myself) and venture out. To make matters worse, today was a freezing, wet, dismal day in Brisbane (most certainly out of the ordinary). So not only did I have to venture out for the first time with 2 kids, I had to do it in the rain!

First on the agenda was a visit to the doctors to check on Lily. Typical Byron style – he mucks around whilst having the consultation with the doctor (I think it had something to do with the jelly bean factor) and I had Lily so I found it difficult to ‘chastise’ (mental note – must learn to adapt). On a separate note, the doctor was happy with Lily’s eye and said all was healing well. Plus her colour was good. All in all, she was extremely happy with Lily’s progress.

Following the doctor’s visit we headed off to the early childhood clinic to have Lily weighed and to discuss further, with the lactation consultant, my breastfeeding issues. There weren’t to many dramas at this visit – I guess they are used to little kids and offered to put on a video for Byron while I was ‘tutored’ on the breastfeeding front.

Speaking of breastfeeding; it seems that I am taking one step forward and two steps backwards (I feel like I am getting no where). As it stands today, my left nipple is grazed and my right nipple is cracked (and on occasion bled a few times) . To say I have felt frustrated now and then over the past two weeks is an understatement. Frustration, disillusionment, disappointment, sadness have made there way to my neck of the woods – Why can’t I get it? Why can’t Lily get it? Why is this happening this time and not with Byron? What am I doing wrong? I know ‘we’ will eventually get it which is great and why I am persevering. It just seems like a long (and painful) road at the moment, which I guess is completely understandable.

Whilst I type this entry, my little Lily sits here on my lap, wide awake looking around. She doesn’t have a lot of wake time during a 24 hour period. Her wake time consists of around 1 – 1½ hours per day. With Byron I couldn’t wait til he reached the ‘next stage’ whether that be smiling, rolling over, crawling, walking etc. With Lily however, I am just making the most of this tiny little bundle (who wears 00000’s – 0000’s are to big!) sitting happily on my lap because I am so conscious of the fact they grow up so quickly.