The Pressure of Cake Making

I have vowed this year to make my kids' birthday cakes. You read right - I am going to whip out the trusty old Woman's Weekly cookbook and go from there. Every year I have the intention of making a cake but the intention falters as the birthdays approach - I simply run out of time (terrible excuse I know). I made Byron's first birthday cake but not his 2nd or 3rd birthday cakes; those honours rested with my mum.

This year however is going to be different. I plan on making a master piece (I can dream). I am going to make 2 cakes for Byron - one for kindy and one for his party (and Lily too). I am not yet sure what I am going to make him. I thought of letting him decide and consequently he has poured over the three cake books on the lounge room floor, professing that he wants every second cake, but I have since decided against that...he won't know; he will be happy with anything chocolate I'm sure.

After scouring on EBay I was shocked to see that you can actually buy cake tins already shaped to your desired design. How fricken fantastic is that??? Straight up I thought that was definitely the go for me; far easier then making 4 cakes and trying to shape them into something that clearly is not going to work. So, in my haste I purchased 2 cake tins and some decorating equipment. Now I am feeling confident that at least the cake will form the right shape ? I am not too sure how the decorating part with turn out but I am willing to give it a go.

At this moment (it could change) I have Lily's birthday cake sorted (in my head) and I have one of Byron's too. I won't spoil the surprise and will wait for the reveal to enlighten you as to exactly what I plan on making or have made (note: my decision has nothing to do with a fear of failing; not living up to expectations set; embarrassment should they look dreadful; or placing undue pressure on myself - I simply want to reveal a surprise *cough cough*).

Stay tunned...

Another Byronism

I was sitting down on the lounge this morning trying at every opportunity to read the final instalment of Harry Potter, which in its self is a mean feat (finding the time that is). Anyway, whilst I was reading Byron came up and sat next to me on the lounge and the following conversation ensued:

Byron: "what are you doing mummy?"
Me: "I am reading my book"
Byron: "I can't hear you"
Me: *giggles at the comment* "I am reading in my head"
Byron: *cackles of laughter* "reading in your head?"
Me: "yep, reading in my head"
Byron: "I'm going to read in my bum"

Now I must go and get back to my book!

11 months!

There exists just one more month until my little Lily turns 1; just one more! I can't really believe it actually *shakes head in astonishment*.

Lily has learnt so much this last month it is quite astounding really. Where to start ...

Waving and pointing

She can wave on que (90% of the time) now, which is much more then she could do a month ago. It is really quite funny...it would seem she starts waving involuntary. When she sees her hand waving she looks down at it in amazement and stops and doesn?t then know how to start waving again .

I am trying to teach Lily the finer points of etiquette. It seems she doesn't quite understand that it is rude to point. She is pointing everywhere. She loves to point at the buttons on her toys and press them constantly. She also loves to point at your face; at your mouth and eyes. Very cute indeed!

Ta and Hi

Words, and or babble, are spilling out of her at the moment with the most recent addition to the vocabulary being "ta" and "hi". She isn't to keen on saying ta when I hand her something but if there is something she wants she will make a point of waving her hands at the same time as saying "ta". She clearly understands the meaning of the words and is also aware of the meaning of other words like "kisses", "cuddles" and "all gone". She is learning everyday.

Phone and remote control

The other day she grabbed the home phone, put it up to her ear in the awkward way kids hold phones to their ears and said "hi". Needless to say I thought it was the greatest thing I had seen in ages . Then she did it again and again and again. She did it with the home phone and Trevor's phone (but not mine). Isn't it odd how babies know at such a tender age, the difference between a real phone and a block?

Lily has also taken to the remote control. When she finds one (yes there are many) around the place she picks it up and points it at the television as if she is going to change the channel. She spots them a mile away. If I let her they of course would be her favourite toy!

Crawling and cruising

Commando crawling has pretty much bit the dust now. She only requires its use when she needs to get somewhere at a speed 'traditional' crawling has not yet reached. Lily loves to pull herself up on everything and is no longer just content to just stand there. She is cruising around the furniture. She loves the water cooler, Byron's wiggles table and chair, her LeapFrog table, legs (particularly Trevor's and his hairs ), the screen door, the kitchen cupboards and of course the stairs (which thankfully she hasn't figured out how to climb).

Favourite things

Lily loves her pink bunny blanket (and dummy) just like Byron did. She eats its ears and rubs the polar fleece on her face. With her recent colds the poor bunny looked terrible. There were yellow spots of dried snot all over it. Thankfully, I had 3 on the go at the one time so we could manage (although I was quite embarrassed when I forgot to take a nice clean one to kindy instead bringing the snot encrusted, smelly one she had the night before - opps).

'If you're happy and you know it' is still by far her favourite song. It is guaranteed to bring a smile every time she hears it (or you sing it). 'Twinkle. Twinkle' isn't far behind. I think she mainly loves the hand actions, which she tries to copy.

Lily is a great eater and pretty much eats what ever is put in front of her. Breakfast is still a favourite. I continue to breastfeed her in the morning (hanging out for the 12 month mark) which she seems to enjoy (probably more for comfort really because I don't think she gets much 'milk' out of it).

Stuff

She wears size 00 to 0 clothing and uses toddler nappies now. I'm not to sure what she weighs but might stick her on the scales later to see.

On a daily basis I look at her and realise I love her so much more then I did when she was born. Her personality is developing at a rate of knots. She is truly the light of my life, as is Byron . I am amazed at her accomplishments each and every day and sit in wonderment that I have created such a cherub. I look forward to the following month and the years to follow (my only wish is that it would slow down a little)!

Hmmm I think that is about it for now.

Signing my life away.

I feel like I just signed my life away on this 25th day of July 2007. Literally, I must have signed my name at least 100 times. If this is what it's like to be a celebrity I can't say I'm a fan. I seriously was developing symptoms of RSI in my hand.

What were we signing you ask?

Well...the contracts to our new house .

That's it...it is all over from our end except for the finance part, which at the moment I am some what dreading now that Trevor, whilst working, is in limbo. I suspect this probably won?t go down a treat with the financier (we had no problems whilst he was in his previous job). I keep thinking how much easier it would have been if he was retrenched a month or so later. *sigh* Oh well.

The contracts have been going back and forward for a week or so. They weren't quite right (ie. The blue tiles in the toilet and laundry, the cream soap holder in a white ensuite, the cream linen cupboard in a white laundry) but are all fixed now.

The contract price, including all the extras to finish off the house, was more then I expected to pay but just under our maximum limit. I can?t believe how quickly it adds up, so much so that we decided to take the air-conditioning out. That will have to wait!

Trevor is dropping the signed documents off tomorrow following receipt of which the builders will supply us with a nice bound edition for our financiers, all ready for the next step.

If all goes well, it seems we might be having a slab party within a few months. I truly cannot wait.

Still Sick!

My little Lily is still sic...the poor little munchkin. Of late it feels like I have to take a crowbar to her nose/lip region in the morning to remove the build up of hardened snot stuck there ? the poor thing is so congested it is any wonder she can breathe at night.

My mother in law is looking after her today which is good. She took her to the doctors for me and it turns out she now has an ear infection. She hasn't got much better since we left the doctor's surgery last Friday (although there was a glimmer of hope on Monday). As a consequence, I suspected she might have had more then just a cold. I was right. I told my boss that I wouldn't be going to work tomorrow because I was staying home with Lily. She was great about it. If I had of been at my old job I would have been so worried about what people think - especially when I had Friday off last week - but they were great which makes it so much easier. It is hard enough having a sick child and feeling guilty about not being at home with them, but when you add job accompanying guilt, it is so much worse. Admittedly, I don't let the job worry as much as it used too.

Fingers crossed she starts to improve with the antibiotics (and plenty of cuddles and love).

Sickness and Growing Pains

I am not sure I mentioned that Lily has been sick the last week. The poor little thing has a terrible cold (temperature, congestion etc) - nothing can fix it but cuddles and love (doctor's orders). She hasn?t been particularly miserable, but not her chirpy self either. She has lost that sparkle in her eyes.

I had to have Friday off work because there was no way she could go to kindy. Saturday and Sunday were no better. There was improvement on Monday, enough to send her to kindy (I know, I know I am a terrible mother, putting work deadlines ahead of my own child; I feel terrible about it but that is another entry - I know once I start I won't stop ). Today, she has improved a little, but still has no sparkle.

Byron is well and truly over the worst of his cold. He has been a trooper this winter - not one sick day off from kindy! Speaking of Byron, I am starting to worry a little about his weight. He is growing taller by the day but isn't filling out any. He has the skinniest little legs and frankly, there is nothing to him. He doesn't eat much which is a concern. I am thinking about getting him some sort of 'tonic' for him to take that will build him up a little.

Last night he literally sobbed in bed on 2 separate occasions (8.20pm and 11.15pm) because he legs ached . There was nothing I could do to stop him crying- "my legs are never going to get better"..."my legs, my legs are never going to get better". He said that over and over again while he sobbed (literally - with real tears). When I explained this to mum she said my brother used to do the same thing; he would cry and cry because his legs hurt.

I have done my research on Dr Google and apparently it is normal for children to experience what is termed 'growing pains'. There isn't a lot that I can do really except for providing plenty of cuddles and reassurance that the pain will go away and that his legs will feel normal by morning; massage, using special massage oils (apparently this is not necessary to easing the pain, but may help your child feel special) - we used the 'magic potion' last night but it obviously wasn't magic enough; heat treatment, such as warm baths and hot water bottles - will have to try this next time; medicines that reduce pain, such as paracetamol - and stupid me forgot to try this last night!

Last night was hard for all involved, especially for Trevor who had to get up at 1.45am to go to work. Fingers crossed Byron doesn't suffer to much with 'growing pains' and especially on nights Trevor has to go to work.

Elf costume: the reveal!

I know I say it often (as parents do) but gee he looked adorable! The costume came up a treat; way better then any pre-made purchased costume.

As usual Byron was the only boy at the party - he gets invited to all the girls' parties (apparently they all want to marry him). He was surrounded by some very gorgeous fairies .

He got lots of awwwws from the mums (and dads) when he arrived?alas I couldn't take any credit for it. Mum did a great job!!!

It's all a bit weird...

I honestly couldn't count on one hand the amount of times he has gone to bed before me in the last few years. Heck, I couldn't even count on one hand the amount of times we have gone to bed together, at the same time. Trevor is a night owl and likes his own space at night hence he likes to be the last to go to bed. Yes it?s annoying and yes I hate it but I?m used to it; that is how we do things around here.

So...it's all a bit weird, Trevor being in bed asleep before me .

I'm out of kilter. I bet he feels the same. When I came home from work tonight he looked tired; dog tired and today was only his first day. I asked him how it went, and in usual Trevor fashion he didn't say much..."It was fine; easy".

I do hope he finds something more 'sustainable' because I can see this job really taking its toll. In the meantime though, I am grateful he has a job (I mean seriously, there are toy sales to attend!).

So tonight, while he sleeps, I'm awake as is Miss Lily. She isn't well . I have put her down (asleep) three times and she has woken 3 times. The poor thing is stuffed up, has rosy red cheeks and from what I can gather (whenever she coughs she does this gag reflex) is suffering with a sore throat. Seriously, I can not wait to bid farewell to winter...it is fricken freezing here at the moment. It is dead set the coldest winter I can remember for a long while (for Queensland standards that is). I can't shake this damn cold and cough and the kids constantly have runny noses and the like - oh and don't get me started about their skin . Byron seems to be doing ok-nothing warranting attention by a doctor. Lily not so good, but not so bad, no hospital visits or anything just doctors and antibiotics.

Fingers crossed she will be feeling better tomorrow. I hate having to take days off work. I always feel bad about it - torn when I shouldn't be because there really is no question as to what is more important. Family comes first and if Lily needs attention then that is what she will get - lots of kisses and cuddles. Trevor can't really share the load at the moment...imagine the boss' reaction if he didn't turn up for his second day of work with the excuse his kid was sick - sure it would go down a treat!!

It's past 11.00pm so I should head to bed...EEEK!!! Trevor will be up in less than 3 hours!

At least it's something!

Trevor is going to play 'con the fruiterer' for a week to see what its like. It pays ok (or at least is better then no money at all) but the hours are a little warped. He will have to start at 2.45am in the morning and will finish between 11.00am-12.00pm. He will also have to work every second Saturday.

I was thinking of the possible perks of such a job - lots of fruit and vegetables which will be great for the diet and great for the purse strings given the price of fresh food lately. Negatives would be the hours for sure?whilst he is home at lunch time he will be in bed by 8.00pm. Trevor is a little bit of a night owl so I think he will find going to bed early quite difficult. I guess that is what the one week trial is for; to see if it suits you and suits them. He starts on Thursday morning, bright and early!

It's not a future so to speak but at least it's something.

"Uh Oh"

It's all coming back to me now. I remember when Byron was around Lily's age (10-11 months) I used to say "uh oh" when ever he dropped something or the like. He took to the words, or the sound they make when you say it, almost instantly and started saying it all day long. Well, Lily is the same.

Yesterday when she chucked her water off her highchair (as she does) I went "uh oh" which was met with a just as quick reply "uh oh". It became a game. Every time I said it, she would repeat it - she even took to saying it for the sake of it. It just goes to show she is getting older; moving closer to toddler hood .

The other day, I swear she said "tar" when I handed her something.

Elf Costume Pt 2

Well it's done; the costume is complete.

Did I make it? Ummm...not exactly .

Did I help? Ummm...sort of.

Ok, if truth be told, mum made it . Apart from my help, with the hat design which consisted of handing her a bag of bells in the cheepie shop, she did it all; and all for $12.

Byron is going to look so cute on Saturday . I thought about dressing him up today and taking a photo but the poor little chap had a temp of nearly 39C and bright red lips as usual so I thought best not to. I will save the photo for party day.

I can't wait to see my little elf playing with all the fairies.

Elf costume...how do I make that?

Ok so I should have probably been a bit more proactive with the invitation because I have had some knowledge of the party for many weeks now; the party being, a fairies and elf party for a little kindy girlfriend of Byron's, which is to take place Saturday the 21st of July. The girls are to dress up as fairies and the boys, elves.

Why do they have to make things so hard? I can walk into any department store and find myself a lovely fairy outfit with accessories for minimal dollars. Do you think I can walk into a department store or any well respected toy store for that matter and find myself an elf costume (that is not Christmas related)? The short answer is NO! I can't. If I had acted sooner I probably could have ordered one from the US at a reasonable price but seeing as it is only 1 week away, that doesn't leave enough time for postage.

So where does that leave me? Well, I did contemplate dressing Byron as a fairy but that didn?t go down to well with Trevor, so from here it is looking more and more frightening! I think I will have to *gulp* make it myself; from scratch. My sewing skills are sparse and definitely nothing to rave home about. The only things I have really sewn have been basic things. Also, how do I make a costume and what does an elf look like again?

My first port of call so far has been Google. It has delivered a little...I at least have a picture of an elf in my mind (that isn't Christmas related). I also happened to find myself step by step instructions on 'how to make an elf costume'. Apparently, 'making a child's elf costume really isn't hard at all'. I wonder if there is any truth to those words (which were probably written by Martha Stewart herself). I guess we will have to see about that - stay tunned!

For all those that can't quite remember what a traditional elf looks like, here you go...

He just doesn't get it!

He doesn't understand that he has to work for another 35 years plus.

He doesn't get that it's not just about the now (although important) but also about the future.

He doesn't get that I don't want to do this anymore.

He just doesn't get it at all and frankly I don?t understand how he can't!!!

Friday will mark 2 weeks of unemployment. On the weekend I started to get a bit nervous about where he was headed yet again. Every time I would bring it up he got feisty and on the defensive which in turn made me angry and to the point where I would say (or think about saying) things that maybe I shouldn?t. I asked him what he did last week. His response was "I applied for jobs". Ummm ok...how? (There are many other options apart from the internet). Ding Dong...anyone home!!! He doesn?t seem to understand how.

I told him that I wasn?t going through this again - Trevor's career path. This was the 4th time and hopefully the last. I told him it was time to figure out where he wanted to head career wise. Of course he had no idea. He has absolutely no friggen idea and I have had enough. I am at a loss to simply understand how this man thinks...or doesn't think for that matter. It should be instinctive to try harder; to achieve higher goals. Obviously it isn't for him...maybe he was just never taught to think that way.

I organised a group of employment agencies for him to ring. I organised the labour hire company for him to ring. I suggested that maybe he should do a trade - for the future. Why can't he do all this himself? Why do I have to do it?

This afternoon when he picked me up he mentioned that he had an interview tomorrow for a job at the Council on a 6 months contract (paid through an agency not the Council). I explained that that would mean no benefits or anything in the interim but I was happy all the same that he could potentially have some work. Anyway, moving past that, I asked him what his plans were if he got the job. His response was "what do you mean?" . Ummm HELLO!!! Like what about the future ? the next 35 years - like usual he gets himself a mediocre job and just plots along hopping everything will be peachy for the future. He just got on his high horse ranting that nothing is ever good enough...and that maybe I should marry myself a rich lawyer!

I totally give up. It is like trying to speak French to a Japanese person. He just doesn't get it and I don't think he ever will .

Kisses...glorious kisses!

My little girl gives kisses all over the place. If your head gets close enough she opens her mouth up nice and wide and tries - she hasn't yet perfected the action - to plant a kiss. Her kisses consist of wet, wide open mouthed, head banging - the aim can be all wrong - kisses...not quite as tender as my Byron kisses (which are beautiful), but heart pounding and warm fuzzy all the same.

The person she likes to kiss the most is Byron. Anytime he is playing with her and gets his head within distance she opens her mouth and moves in for the kill. He loves it and is more then obliging (although he does wipe his mouth in disgust when she is done). Without fail, when I am holding her, I try to steal as many kisses as I can. I say "kiss...give mummy kisses" or "kiss for mummy". She complies most of the time. I love that her mouth remains wide open the whole time and that she doesn't know when the kiss is meant to end. There are no "mwahhhs" yet; just squeals of delight when it is all over (from everyone involved).

I am totally in love with this age. The things she learns every day astound me.

...I am waiting patiently for the bug tight cuddles to arrive!

The dress!

Lily will be one in exactly 7 weeks! I can't believe it.

I was browsing Ebay as you do and came across the sweetest little navy dress which was absolutely perfect for her 1st birthday party...here it is:

She is going to look so gorgeous. I can't wait to receive it and for her to try it on.

I just had to share!

Mid Year Report 2007

It seems it is that time of year again - report card time!

I received Byron's Yellow room mid year report the other day. He is plodding along there and for all intents and purpose is happy. There doesn't seem to be any advancement on last year in the following of rules and concentration department and his listening ears aren't always in attendance. I am pleased he has retained the use of his manners and that he can lend a hand around the place. He is still a social butterfly, especially with the ladies and he has no problems in the 'play' department but must work on his sharing techniques a little more. In all it was said:

He 'usually' really enjoyed dramatic play, blocks, puzzles, sandpit, climbing, games, books/stories, collage, painting, drawing and music.

He is 'usually' happy at kindy.

He 'usually' can share with someone else.

He 'usually' says please and thank you.

He is 'usually' proud of his work.

He has made friends.

He 'sometimes' looks after his belongings.

He 'sometimes' helps at tidy up time and he 'sometimes' helps the teacher and his friends.

His concentration is improving 'sometimes'.

'With help' he will follow the rules.

'With help' he will listen when others peak.

'With help' he will try to share things.

In terms of his Montessori skills, he is said to be 'progressing' with his sensorial activities i.e. Colour work, visual work, textures, shapes, mass, sound and taste. He is yet to tackle maths and beginning reading (something he will most likely undertake next year).

She did it!

Lily did a few 'steps' (if that is what you can call it) of all fours crawling today. She was sitting on the floor and then she started to crawl to get something. I was shocked because I thought she would commando for ever (or at least until she walked). As soon as she realised what she was doing she plopped back on that belly of hers and took off.

That is about all that was exciting today - except for the Parent's Children's and Baby Expo which I attended...that was some what exciting - that is where I saw Lily crawl properly for the first time . Oh and I guess I better not forget about the night out. I went out to dinner tonight with the girls and it was great. I love my mother's group friends - they are fantastic.

I HATE money but LOVE my mum!

I hate money! I hate how it controls things and I hate what it can do to relationships.

Friday night and Saturday were horrible. Trevor was so angsty. He was in a permanent bad mood. You couldn't talk to him and there was definitely no reasoning. For his sake (because I'm a nice person), I let it go as I could only presume it related to his 'unemployment'.

Today is Wednesday, day 3 of his hiatus (if you can call it that). The washing is getting done a little quicker, the kitchen looks cleaner then usual but still there is no job on the horizon. I actually don't think he has any idea what he wants to do. The trouble is we don?t have the time (or money) for him to sit around waiting for something to land in his lap.

Trevor isn't the chattiest guy around so it is sometimes difficult to get 'things' out of him. He doesn't particularly want to talk about it whereas that is all I want to do. I want to discuss plans of actions; what he has done today; what is looking good. But no, it is like drawing blood out of a stone. I know it must be affecting him greatly; his self esteem and the like but it is affecting me too. I hate being the strong one all time time. I hate being the worrier. I don't want those roles anymore.

I hate money!!

On a different note (but money related)...I was talking to mum yesterday when she handed me a deposit slip for $2000. I was like what the??? What is this for? She said it was for childcare and that she had paid our outstanding fees (back on the 29th of June) . I could have cried right there and then (I did shed a little tear). Mum doesn't have a lot of money which makes it even harder to accept. She said though that she wanted to help and knows just how much child care is killing us financially at the moment. Trevor's draw hit the ground when I showed him the slip. He couldn't believe it.

I always knew I had the greatest mum in the world (and it's not because she paid the fees but that is the icing) . She is my rock; my shoulder; the only person who I can truly discuss, and who understands these issues. She will listen to the cows come home!

I love you mum xxooxx

Conjunctivitis + Disney on Ice

Today, Byron, my sister and I trotted off to see Disney on Ice Finding Nemo but not before a little bit of a crap start.

I woke up this morning and one of my eyes was stuck together. I knew it couldn't be sleep - that just left conjunctivitis. I called Trevor to get me a washer because there was no way I was going to look in the mirror until the gunk was gone. When I did look in the mirror, my eye was red bloodshot and felt really scratchy.

I think the kids might have had a really (and I mean really) mild case last week. Both of them woke up with what looked like excess sleep for a few days but that was it - their eyes were definitely not as red as mine are.

Trevor didn't come along to Disney because he had a soccer thing he wanted to go to and wouldn't have made it to that in time if he went. My sister gladly stepped in for the ticket.

When I picked up my sister, she was quick to point out that I better not come near her because she had conjunctivitis. How funny was it when I revealed to her that I was suffering too! Even funnier was that she too only had it in the one eye .

Anyway, moving past conjunctivitis, Nemo was great. It wasn't as fantastic as I thought it would be (come to think of it I am not sure how I thought it would be) but Byron and my sister loved it. According to Byron, who will count it out in order on his fingers, his favourite bits were the volcano erupting, the shark, and the whale. The funny thing is, he didn't particularly like the huge whale at the time?he actually wanted to leave when the whale emerged because "it was too scary!".

Today Byron was a little bit fidgety but generally pretty good. Admittedly today he wasn't exactly well. The poor little mite has a bad cough and croaky voice. Fingers crossed that doesn't get any worse.

I really enjoyed taking him today. Apart from the movies twice and Bananas in Pyjamas once, we have never really been to any show type events (prior to Nemo). Speaking of live shows, I have purchased pre-release Wiggles tickets (front row) for their show in December. Whilst he will be 4 I think (and am hoping) he will still enjoy them. He still likes to watch them on TV so there is hope. I would have loved to take Lily but wasn't going to pay for her. Apparently all children over 12 months have to be paid for which I think is a bit rich. I mean, seriously Lily will be barely 16 months - hardly able to take it all in.