My News...

The reason for my long absence is this damn morning sickness. You guessed it? Number 3 is on the way. The last 5 weeks I’ve been kicking myself thinking “what the hell have you got yourself into?”, “Why am I doing this to myself again?”. The truth is, I know why, but when you’re living everyday feeling like utter crap you can’t help but question your decisions.

So, I’m 10 weeks going on 11 weeks and I’m due in mid July. I’m completely paranoid that something will go wrong – having the earlier ultrasound has done nothing to alleviate my fears. I’m hoping my 12 week scan on 7 January 2009 will do more for that. I truly want this baby and I’m worried that something will go wrong. There are no real signs of anything wrong but my stupid paranoia.

I’m sick although nothing like I was with Byron (It's probably more in line with how normal morning sickness should be - maybe a smidge worse). I’m proud to say that to date I’ve only had 4 sick days off work which given my history with both Byron (3 weeks total work non consecutive between 8 weeks and ceasing at 26 weeks) and Lily (ceasing work at 8 weeks on income protection insurance) is really good – well I think so. I had to fess up to work sooner then I wanted because with me, you never know what it’s going to be like from one day to the next. I always feel better when things are out in the open. I also got permanent with work now which after nearly two years is handy – not that it really means much but piece of mine I guess. My goal for work was to get to Christmas and my nearly 2 weeks off…which I can say I’ve done as best I can.

Feeling just plain blur has meant that I have completely lost my desire to blog and forget about my photography – I feel like if I never see my camera again it will be too soon. It’s probably a good thing that I won’t receive my new baby (the camera that is) until sometime next year because it would truly be an injustice for it to just sit in the box untouched. I actually have one client still waiting for her photos and I can’t bring myself to sit at the computer at home in the hot weather and do them. The passion is gone. I sure hope it comes back! In the meantime I’m not doing any favours for my business – sob! Sob!

It’s terrible to feel so crap and uninspired at this time of year. I really love Christmas and it’s our first in our new house plus my brother and his family have arrived. To top it off we are having Christmas breakfast and lunch at our place. I just can’t get into it!! I am yet to finish all my shopping and there is barely 2 days to Christmas. My festive mood is just nonexistent. Sigh. The best thing about being pregnant with my first two was that I never got to feel crap at this time of year – only joy with my new little additions.

There are some decent days so I’m really hoping to get past it and enjoy the next few days with my kidos. Speaking of kidos, there is so much to update you on. Lily is running around in undies – my special big girl!!!! She still isn’t out of the cot *blush* on account of me feeling so crap I just can’t get out to get her a big girl bed and remove all the baby furniture from her room. She’s happy enough though and sleeping perfectly fine. She’ll have to wait a little longer yet.

Byron is just so grown up….my beautiful big boy is such a help, especially at the moment. On the days I feel like crap he can get me ice and water. He can make a sandwich for himself and Lily. He can help Lily with things. Sigh. He’s so good.

We’ll there you have it, enough of my long ramblings. I have managed to blog a few entries prior to the sickness beginning and in between. You can read them here...they're much more exciting then this entry.

"And so it begins..."
"Could it be?"
Big Fat Positive...
Confirmation
Test #3
Sharing the journey
Six weeks!
It’s arrived!
Heartbeat.
Nasty Nine

In approximately 29 weeks I'll have my last precious bundle in my arms. I wonder what it will be????

I promise…

There is a good reason for my *long* absence. In a few more days I’ll let you know – there’s just something I have to take care of first.

Nasty Nine

Man I feel like crap. I had Wednesday and Thursday off work and today I have taken 3 Zofrans to no avail. They are simply NOT working!!!

Arrgh!

Now I know why I hate pregnancy so much. I really hate feeling like crap 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s just plain horrible knowing that I can’t even sleep it off – that tomorrow when I wake up I’ll be feeling the same.

Admittedly it’s not as bad as it was with Byron (which I would say for the most part is due to the $263.00 for box of 20 tablets) but it still sucks majorly. The thought of doing this for the next 30 weeks kills me.

Week nine, which I shall term nasty nine, has been notoriously bad with my pregnancies. Usually it is marked with a hospital visit or two. This time though, so far so good although I’m only a few days into it and judging by today things are only ramping up. Sigh.

I know this is my last pregnancy. My last baby - I feel it now.

And so...I can not wait to bid farewell forever to nasty nine!

Heartbeat.

I’m such a worrier. I never even gave miscarriage a thought with Byron. It never entered my mind that something could go wrong. With this one I think about it all the time. Perhaps because I’ve had one before at 10 weeks…they say 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. If that’s the case, then I’ve had my share already. Right?!

My sickness seems to have kicked in a week earlier then it did with the other two. That culminating with my high HCG level of 19,500 at just over 6 weeks had me thinking that perhaps there is more then one in there. I’ve been dreaming about twins a lot lately. Not sure why. Maybe it’s a sign?

When I went to the doctors last week for my first official pregnancy visit I asked for a scan just to make sure there is only one and that it has a heartbeat.

Well today, I got reassurance that there was only one (is it weird that I would be a little disappointed with that – strange?) and there was a heartbeat measuring 122bpm. Trevor and I took Byron along today because he had a pre prep day at big school. It was special for him to see. He was excited. He thinks it’s a boy!!!

I was relieved to say the least about the heartbeat but then got all in a twist because they said it was measuring 6 weeks 3 days and I’m 7 weeks today – that’s 7 weeks!!!! I’m positive about dates – losing 4 days is just not possible especially at this early stage. Every day closer to the end is paramount. It sounds stupid but when you suffer as I have suffered in pregnancy you would understand - I cling to everyday gone and another day closer to feeling normal.

I’ve decided to stick with my dates because I know the dates provided are not possible. They say they can be out by a week at this early stage so I’m happy with sticking with a due date of 16 July 2009.

Please stay sticky little one. xxx

It’s arrived!

It’s here.

I feel like crap.

I want to throw up.

I had to move my appointment with the doctor forward a week because I’m scared that things will get too out of control and I need my zofran!!!

So, my worry was for nothing. The dreaded sickness is here.

Please. Please. Please don’t stick around with a vengeance. I would be forever grateful.

Six weeks!

I’m nervous that things aren’t going to go right. I’m nervous that things will end up like they did in my pregnancy after Byron. I suppose it’s only natural to be overly cautious.

It all seems to perfect. To easy.

I’m not feeling the slightest bit sick yet. That scares me. Although, if truth be told, I don’t think I was struck with the dreaded sickness until I was around 7 to 8 weeks pregnant with Byron and Lily. I just know that by 9 weeks with each of them I was visiting hospital for the first time! With the miscarriage I didn’t really get sick at all, which was an indication that things weren’t going so well.

So, it’s been two weeks since I did the last lot of tests. I made Trevor tonight go out and get me another. He thought it was ridiculous when I said get the three pack - "You already know you're pregnant!". Needless to say he came back with just one more test, just to appease me of course.

I did the test and one of the lines came up almost instantly. The other line was half the strength. I was scared. However, in comparing it with the other tests, it looks like it was the control line that came up faintly and the ‘you’re pregnant’ line came up darker – that’s what I’m telling myself anyway.

Sigh. I hate the uneasy feeling that stupid miscarriage has left me with. I will breathe so much easier when I get the dating ultra sound. Until then, I’ll just wait it out.

I just went shopping...

They got in contact with me late last week – they told me I could go shopping at Canon – Woohoo! What a photographer’s dream. Yesterday I decided what it was I wanted to get. Well actually, I had spoken with Canon last week and decided that the Canon 5D MKII is what I’ll be getting. My new baby!!!

Isn’t she gorgeous?!

It’s funny though...and you’ll laugh at me...but $5,000.00 is simply not enough money when it comes to all the equipment I would like. Frankly, it barely scapes the surface! Well it got me the camera body (no lens) but if I had my way there would be at least five other major items on my list (mainly lenses) the cost of which I would hate to hazard a guess.

It’s expensive being a photographer.

Anyway, whilst I couldn’t get all the things I desired, I did get my number one desire...a new camera. After I took into account the $RRP of the 5D ($4,299.00) I was left with $700.00 to spend. It was know where near enough for a lens, although I could spend more if I wanted to - it would just mean that I had to chip in over the $5K amount, so I decided to steer clear of that department.

I have been more then frustrated on a number of occasions over the mere fact that I don’t have a little point and shoot camera; you know a little one that you can just chuck in your bag and run. So many times I’ve gone to functions and wished I had something a little more innocuous and easy to carry. What better thing to use my money for then to get me an itty bitty camera! In addition to the camera (cause it wasn’t $700) I decided to go for some underwater housing. Underwater housing isn’t cheap and most definitely something I wouldn’t ordinarily buy. I thought what the heck – not my money (Oh I love this feeling – guilt free shopping is fantabulous).

So there you have it...my winning prizes; my cameras. Don't you think 'gold' is appropriate in this situation - I promise I'm not gloating?

Sharing the journey

I got the bestest news today. Really – its right up there as the greatest news I’ve had in ages.

My besty is pregnant!! It’s her first.

… and guess what?!

She’s due exactly a week before me. What are the odds? Her week falls on a Thursday just like mine. I knew she was trying. She didn’t realise I was trying as well. Well we know I wasn’t exactly trying but never the less, there’s something in it. Right?!

I ‘m so excited to be sharing the journey with someone close. With Byron I shared the journey with no one. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant and no one even came close to being pregnant with me, although I did have a friend that had a 9 month old. So, it was a lonely road, especially with the hyperemesis. Then there was Lily… a few of my friends were pregnant around the same time – 3 and 5 months behind, plus I had discovered the internet forum Essential Baby. That was definitely better then doing it alone.

However, I’ve never shared the journey with someone so close and to be so close in dates too – so cool!

Anyway, I do worry that it’s too perfect if you know what I mean but then again I think, how could it not have meant to be?

It’s only early days yet so I’m trying not to celebrate too much , especially with the miscarriage I’ve preciously suffered. But as time goes, and all progresses smoothly there’s no doubt I’ll get more excited about sharing the pregnancy journey with my besty but also sharing the parenting journey as well.

Toilet Training!

I’ve been dreading it for months the whole toilet training thing. Lily has basically shown no interest to learn. I’ve suspected that she’d be a whole lot more trouble than Byron ever was with potty training.

A few weeks ago kindy decided it was time to get into action. They popped her in those terry toweling trainers (they remind me of the 70s). Aside from nap time, they would keep her in them all day long!

For the first week there were accidents - accident after accident. There were no successes to speak of. Not one. For this reason I didn’t try putting her in trainers when we came home from kindy. With dinner, baths and everything else I just didn’t have the energy to direct to that endeavor (naughty me). Plus every time I insinuated that she use the potty I was met with, “I don weeally like it”.

So, another week went by and there weren’t any successes to speak off.

I thought this was the pattern of the future. However, with this week has come some success. Slowly but surely things are falling into place. There have been less accidents – when I say less I mean not 9 but say 3 to 4. There has been potty action too. Lily did 3 wees on the potty yesterday and 4 the day before. And just in case you’re mistaken she’s more than happy to correct you and tell you all about her efforts – she’s so proud of herself!

Today, Grandma day, was the first day we did the ‘big girl’ undies (a.k.a terry friends) at home. Guess what?! I’ve been told there were no accidents but then again there were no successes during the course of the day either. She seemed to save it all for the nap time nappy.

When Trev and I came home from work Lily was all bathed and in her ‘undies’ - there’s nothing cuter then little toddler legs and cutie bum enclosed in big kid undies! It’s a new view compared to nappies and more nappies. Adorable!

So there was no success today but I am very excited to announce that this evening I managed to get Lily to do her first ever wee in the potty at home! Woohoo! It looks like we might be getting somewhere. That said, I have no doubt that number twos will be a whole other story. Stay tuned.

I WON!!!

There I am...on the right. I'm the winner for the amateur section - bubbles!

WOOHOO!

Trevor, the sneaky blighter, found out that I won last night after midnight when one of my friends thought I was still on MSN. She urged him to go and look. Low and behold he saw that I had won. He toyed with waking me up but decided that I would probably be too excited to sleep so he let me sleep. Instead, his first words to me this morning were “Congratulations. You won!”. I jumped around to face him. I thought I was dreaming. How could little ol' me win a competition?!

I still can’t believe I’ve won. It’s so nice to win something that I actually want. If I won $5K there is just no way on this earth that I could justify spending it on a camera. No way. This way, I don’t have a choice. Therefore, no need to feel guilty – I win again! Woohoo!

OK…time to take a chill pill.

Test #3

Ok, Ok, I think the odds are I’m pregnant. I was happy to see that today’s test (and yes it’s the last in the box of three) was a nice strong positive. Hopefully that’s a good sign that ‘it’ will be a sticky little baby. I want no repeats of my experience in between Byron and Lily!

(The last test is #3 !)

Men and Sport: the prequel

As I sit here writing this entry, Byron sits in the TV room (commandeering the room as he seems to do a lot these days) watching the ROAR play – that’s Brisbane’s A-League soccer team if you weren’t aware. I can hear him calling out stuff to the TV; chatting to himself nervously waiting for them to score.

“Good try Roar...It went straight over the goal”

“Good Brisbane goal keeper”

“Why haven’t you scored yet?”

I didn’t realise it started so early – the whole men and sport thing. I mean the kid has been bugging me since 3:00pm – the time Trevor left to go to the game – to watch it... “Is it 7:00 yet?!”; “What time is it?!”; “Is the Roar on yet?!”

Arggh!

This isn’t the first time he’s been interested in watching the soccer either. For the last few weeks he’s wanted to watch anything soccer related. He wants to watch the women playing as well as the men. He wants to watch the Premier League as well (UK). I mean come on already...it’s getting ridiculous. The kids becoming a tad obsessed. And where does he get it from...one guess in that department.

I watch Byron watching Trevor and his reactions to the games. He literally copies Trevor's emotions; his mannerism; everything. Whatever Trevor says, he repeats – even those things he really shouldn’t be!!! I’ll give Trevor some credit though, he even thinks Byron’s a tad obsessed. He would rather watch Fox Sports sometimes then the kids’ channel. The other day he had some obscure sport on and we had to tell him to put it on the kids’ channel or turn it off. He obliged begrudging.

The last time we enrolled Byron in a sporting endeavour, aside from swimming, it didn’t go down to well. If it were now I think it would be a different story. If Byron kicking the ball around the house is evidence of anything, he’s ready.

I think the sooner we get him out there playing the game for real, the better it will be! Perhaps I'll get my TV back. He’ll have to wait til next year’s season though. It's too late this year. Plus, he’ll have to wait for us (sorry...Trevor) to decide which club Byron will play for.

God help me...it's half time and Byron's frustrated because no teams have scored yet...on that note, it's time for Byron to go to bed!

Confirmation

I did another test this morning just to make sure last night’s wasn’t a mistake.

It wasn’t. I got another two lines today and they were a smidge darker. Looks like I’m pregnant!

It’s starting to sink in although I’m really scared of what’s to come. I’m incredibly scared of the sickness. Petrified in fact. I keep thinking how many good days I have left before I’m stuck with it. There’s no use thinking it’s not going to happen this time. It did for the first two, so odds are it will for this one. Eeekkkk! Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. I really want to get to Christmas (12 weeks) without people at work knowing. There are some things I want to sort out there before I want them knowing I’m pregnant. Plus, there are the financial worries like paying the mortgage. I can’t afford not to work...hence I can’t afford to get sick like I did with Byron and Lily.

I wanted to make an appointed with my GP as soon as possible to get some Zofran ready for when the onslaught begins but I couldn’t get into to see her until the 29th of November. I’ll be 7 weeks. I’m praying with all my mite that I’ll still be ok. Sigh. I’m so scared. Though I’m happy too. I just need to find the in between.

Big Fat Positive...

It was meant to be a joke. Seriously, I only asked Trevor to pick up some pregnancy tests when he went to the shop just because. Just because I wanted to get it over and done with; that first test in the trying to conceive number three journey. Kind of like oiling the machine...get back into the action of peeing on the stick.

Never in my wildest dreams did I EVER image that I would look down at the stick tonight and see two pink lines. NEVER! However, when I did look down there they were staring back at me - definitely two pink lines, albeit the pregnancy line was lighter but not so light you would need a magnify glass to see it.

I sat staring at the stick for a whole minute thinking this can’t be possible – we weren’t trying. Then I remembered Trevor sitting out on the lounge. I walked out to him, laughing and carrying that stick. When I showed him the stick he laughed. He laughed a lot. I think he was in shock. I was too. I was laughing instead of crying. My legs felt like jelly and I literally didn’t think I could walk.

Part of me felt like ‘how could we be so stupid?’. It took me about an hour to get over the shock. Trevor too. He didn’t really say much which had me worried for a bit. I think he was hoping it would take a little bit longer (selfish reasons for him *wink wink*). The thing is, with trying to get pregnant with Byron and with Lily and the miscarriage in between, it never happened quickly – it took at good 3 to 4 months each time. We expected it would take that long with this one. Needless to say, we are pleasantly surprised.

So, it looks like I’m pregnant. I just Googled my due date. Seems I’ll be having a Cancer – due 16 July 2009. It’s uncanny but the age difference between Lily and this baby will be approximately 2 years and 11 months which is the same gap between Byron and Lily. Meant to be me thinks!!!

Famous...

My simply adorable little niece is famous - well you don't get to appear on the cover of the David Jones Christmas catalogue with Megan Gale no less, if your not anything but.

Sigh. Isn't she just beautiful. She's the one centre stage on the front cover and also on the back.

I could just squish her all up!!!!

It must be hard to be that cute. Really it must.

OH MY GOD...I'm a finalist

In the canon photo comp...

How in the world did that happen??? I've never won a thing in my life. EVER. Oh my goodness!!!

I could potentially win $5K worth of Canon equipement. Oh my god!

Please, please, please (if you're so minded of course) click on the link, head to the amateur "Bubbles" section, and look for my beautiful Byron blowing bubbles in the dusk light!!

I'll be forever grateful!!!!!

Here it is again...

Jumpty Jump!

Lily is totally obessed with jumping at the moment. Ever since she learned how to get both feet off the ground at once she literally hasn't stopped jumping.

She loves to put on a show for anyone that will watch. She's so proud of herself. She doesn't just jump on the floor though - she'll take any surface. She LOVES our bed, the lounges, the trampoline - anything coushy and she's onto it. She knows she isn't aloud to do it but when you turn your back she's off again. Sigh.

We went to a party for Byron the other day at one of those play centres and there was a jumping castle. Lily was in her element and as you can imagine she was worn out come home time.

That girl seriously has so much energy.

(Click to see it bigger)

Could it be?

TTWe might have played a little bit of Russian roulette this month, if you know what I mean. Part of me has been hoping for the past week that perhaps we might be lucky (or maybe it’s unlucky) this month. I secretly have my fingers crossed that the egg meets the sperm although sometimes I uncross them because I’m really not sure it would be the right decision for my family. Plus, surely it’s not possible since things weren’t ‘timed’ properly or not as they would be if we were trying properly.

What’s been making me wonder if it could be, are the dreams – they’re so vivid and real. For the last few days I’ve been having the most intense dreams. They’re so much more intense then they normally are. It’s like I’ve gone from tranquil dreams that I can’t remember in the morning to dreams so vivid I feel like I’ve literally been there and not asleep.

The funny thing is the dreams were the first indication that I was pregnant with Lily. So, I’m thinking that maybe it’s a sign that I could be pregnant. Maybe I’m just trying some wishful thinking. I don’t think I have any other signs out of the ordinary. Just the dreams!

I guess time will tell...maybe another week or so and I’ll know for sure. Either way, I'm swaying negative more then positive.

Sir Walter

Isn't he beautiful? So lush. So green. So soft.

Is it possible to be in love with grass? If so, I am.

Sir Walter...I promise to honour you, mow you, water you and love you as long as we both shall live. xxx

It goes without saying that the kids LOVE their new grass...

About time...

It's only been about 5 months and a few weeks (but who's counting)!

We are one day away from actually having grass. Now it's costing a pretty penny because Trevor and I aren't really great with 'green' things so it was best to pay someone to do it for us. At least it will be done properly.

Today we had the ground prepared because as you could imagine there was...umm...five months worth of weeds and crap - nothing the weed killer could possibly fix.

Byron was a mighty helper as always...he did the edges.

So, this time tomorrow we'll have grass. About time I say.

And so it begins...

I’ve been yearning for another baby since Lily was born. It’s funny. My friends said to me that I should stop at Lily; that I have terrible pregnancies; that I have a pigeon pair; that I’m lucky for what I have but I didn’t think so – I mean I’m definitely lucky. That goes without saying. Just look at my little cherubs. They’re the greatest kids ever. Just because I’ve got those two though doesn’t mean I don’t want any more because I do. I want three. Always have and always will!

Today I headed to the chemist for the first important trip in our trying to conceive journey. We plan on trying in the coming months (although I secretly hope, which is probably not possible, that I can get pregnant sooner. Naughty huh?!).

We’ve been debating it for ages. Thing is, the decision rests on whether I get a permanent position with my job (I’m still on contract!). The longer it goes on though – the trying to get permanent - the more inclined I am to say “stuff it” (waiting for permanent that is – life’s to freakin short if you ask me. Anyway, that’s another entry).

So I picked up some pregnancy and birth/folate vitamins today. I keep forgetting that I need to take the folate. With Byron I was good but only for the first couple of weeks before the dreaded sickness kicked in. With Lily it was much the same. I wonder what good it does only consuming it for a few months? I know you’re supposed to take it for at least 12 weeks but I can never manage it. This time I hope to take it for as long as I can.

It’s a bit strange buying the folate. I meant, it feels like I’ve only just had Lily. Seriously though, she’s 2 years and 2 months already. We were well and truly on the trying to conceive journey for number two when Byron was that age – although we lost one at 10 weeks shortly there after. I don’t want to waste anymore time waiting around.

Anyway, I just wanted to make known the occasion...an occasion where we’ve officially decided we’re ‘nearly’ ready (it’s bloody scary) to increase our little family for one last time.

My Sleeping Angel

My little cherub angel sleeping in her cot...it won’t be long before it's but a distant memory. It won’t be long before my little poppet is sleeping in her own big bed. A matter of weeks really is all.

(Look at those lips!!! Are they not the most kissable ever?!)

She's the picture of a sleeping angel in her baby bed, that is until she decides, using her cherub voice – or not so – to sing aloud at 5.30 in the morning. She's the angel no more. I really hope her new bed will curb her desire to call to attention all those in the house the moment she sees the sun shine through her window (NB - the sun doesn't seem to shine so bright on a Monday morning...it figures!).

A few more weeks and Lily will be my baby no more...Sigh.

Nouns

Trevor and the kids picked me up at the bus station after work this afternoon. I’m really loving my ‘bus time’ at the moment – I’m currently engrossed in the Stephenie Meyer ‘Twighlight’ series books – I only have 60 odd pages to go of the final book (which is over 700 pages long) and I’m wishing it to never end. Of course I can’t stop reading so it’s bound to end by tomorrow. Sigh. Next to Harry Potter they’re my new favourites. Fantastic and I’d totally recommend them!!!

Anyway, my new favourite books are not the crux of this entry. It’s about my totally talented son! He’s a genius for sure – ok probably not Mensa material but he’s pretty damn smart. We were driving home and Trevor told me that Byron learnt some new things at kindy today and that he had something to tell me. Byron pipes up with “nouns are things”! To my shock, Byron’s discovered nouns – oh my gosh that boy is clever. I thought he was clever reading those little readers all by himself then he goes and discovers the foundations of grammar, and all before he’s even come close to hitting grade one (which does concern me a little but I’ll adopt the wait and see approach for prep).

He continued on with his discussion...

“A cup is a noun”
“A car is a noun”
“A clock is a noun”

Trevor turned to him and said “You’re such a clever boy Byron!” to which Lily turned around and said “No....he’s not a clever boy – he’s just a boy!”.

Byron even has his very own ‘Well Done’ certificate from kindy which says...

“Byron has started to learn about grammar. Today he learnt that nouns are the names of things”

Please Vote...

Pretty Please give me a chance to win something. I mentioned previously about the Canon Photo Comp. I had to use a red ribbon, tea light candle, cocktail umbrella, green crayon and bubbles in some creative unique way - let me tell you I'm far from creative so these were really hard!!! I look at some of the other entries and think how the hell did they come up with that...talk about thinking outside the square. Mine are still kinda in the square - maybe top right corner.

Anyway, these are my entires. They're nothing special but I thought you have to be in it to win it right?! . I've attached the link to my images in the gallery (click on the object name) if you'd care to vote for me...

*getting down on my hands and knees to beg*.

1. My red ribbon entry:

Give Peace a Chance...

"Freedom from strife; freedom from time out; freedom to watch ScoobyDoo all day long and freedom to have as much chocolate as one desires...that's peace to my 5 year old. (red ribbon is in his head - symbolic of an era when peace was paramount)."

2. My caryon entry

"Mummy...I can see its eyes!"

"A crayon is unearthing to my two year old. To my five year old it's not so...it's much more than a mere crayon but often a crayon helps."

3. My cocktail umbrella entry"

Life Whirls By...Or Does It?

"When you're two, everything matters yet nothing's important. Life stands still. When you're an adult, everything matters and it's all important. Life whirls by. When I handed the umbrella to my two year old...she had no idea what it was. She wasn't hung up on trying to find out. She just liked how it could spin around in her chubby little hands and that's all she cared about."

4. My bubbles entry:

The simple pleasures...

"A warm Sunday afternoon and a pot of bubbles - what more does one five year old need?"

5. My tea light candle entry:

Mesmerising


"The candle is the object of his curiosity...mesmerising his thoughts (as much as one thing can to a five year old)."

It's all starting now...

It’s really a matter of weeks now until Byron starts school. Well ok, perhaps not weeks...more like a few months. However long it is, there’s no doubt it will fly by.

It’s getting closer – that’s all that matters. This was evident today when Trev and I visited his soon to be school. We had our very first parent teacher interview (although I can’t be sure we’ll get the same teacher yet). Sigh. I wonder if it’ll be the first of many?

The school we’ve chosen for Byron is the same primary school I attended in my final year (we moved towards the end of my primary education). Walking through the court yard where we used to stand for parade was quite surreal. It felt like nothing had changed…from the old bench chairs to the hopscotch painted on the ground. It literally felt like I stepped back in time – 18 years past.

Don’t get me wrong…the centre of the school was like a page out of a history book but the school surrounds had changed a lot. There are now 5 prep classrooms, one big sandpit and a sweet little playground. My son will soon be playing in that sandpit, sliding down the slide and opening up a whole new world of learning in one of those five classrooms. A whole new world will be born for him in those school grounds and it all begins in just a few months.

I’m really excited about Prep but I’m nervous about the next chapter. Partly because it’s letting go of that dependant little person and partly because it means I’m getting older – I will be the mum of a school aged child!

Byron didn’t come along today…there will be more of that next month when we take him along for his first taste of prep. I can't wait...or can I???

Inspired!

So I’m back!!!!

Man oh man did I have fun this weekend. It was everything I’d hoped it would be. Well worth the money and well worth my time! Jinky (aka Barb Uil) was an open book answering all questions and providing lots of inspiration along the way. It really was great to watch a super professional in action.

I feel very inspired to do better with my photography – not that I thought I was doing bad with it. I guess, it’s just that, I’ve been feeling a little flat. I’m having ‘style’ issues at the moment. Basically, I’m wondering whether I’ve actually got a distinct style with my photography – something that makes me unique. I’ve been told that I do but I just seem to have trouble seeing it myself. This weekend has made me yean to discover a little bit more about what I have to offer!

I know the type of photography I’m interested in taking or the style I kinda fancy, but sometimes I just find I'm not connecting or bringing that style to fruition. The photos are ok and parents love them, but sometimes I feel like I wish I did better or did things differently. Hopefully after this weekend I’ll be able to step outside the box and connect with my sense of style a little easier!

On a different note, I enjoyed getting away. Work has been so crazy at the moment and it really was nice to have a longish weekend.

So anyway, I’m back to reality now – back to the grind and back to my ‘real’ job tomorrow. Sigh.

I broke my promise...

To keep you updated.

Sigh.

If truth be told I've had the most terrible experience with internet. When we moved we were no longer able to get ADSL, which is absolutely painful - apparently we live too far from the exchange...what the!? It's not like we moved out to the sticks. We're 20 mins from the city for crying out loud.

So, aside from dial-up our only option is wireless. And so far...wireless has proven the bone of my contention. I hate it. I could tear my hair out over it. I hate our provider. It has gotten so bad that today I've had to go and find myself another provider.

Fingers crossed, the new internet seems to be working, although it does cut out every little bit which I suspect is just the nature of wireless. I have a 7 day trial of coverage to decide if it's for us. The thing is, I'm off to Canberra on Friday morning for my Jinky photography workshop *YAY* and I'm not here to test it out.

Please, please, please cross your fingers that we'll finally be back to civilisation because having no internet is causing me some serious grief.

Once I'm back on board...I will try my very hardest to get my entries where they should be.

Talk soon
xxx

A session with MY kids!

I know, I know...I still haven't finished the birthday entries for Byron, but I will add them shortly...I'm still working on them - they have to be just so.

In the meantime, I’m doing photographic sessions for everyone else these days that I never really get to do a ‘session’ with my kids. I mean I get lots of shots here and there but nothing more then a few.

I set out this afternoon with the view to getting some great shot of the kids. I wanted some great portraits for my big, blank, boring white wall.

I plan on getting 3 big canvases – One of Lily, one of Byron and one of them together (bet you can't guess which ones). I can’t wait to order them. Finally, I’ll have something less blank to stare at. How very exciting.

I'll be sure to share when they're hanging on my wall!

Byron's cake reveal...

Oh! Oh! Oh! Tomorrow Byron turns five!!!

*gasp*

I’ve spent today doing my motherly duties – baking away in preparation for his party tomorrow. On a side note, not only did I make him car cookies, bake his cake, ice his cake, organise his party but I got all my hair chopped off too – yep all of it. Oh my do I feel naked. It’s just above my shoulders now and layered. I just got sick of having 'no style' with my longer hair so I opted for something you could say was more 'hip'.

Anyway, I digress…I’ve just finished the cake and now it’s time for the reveal…

Treasure Island! It literally is full of little bits of treasure – not ‘real’ treasure, or at least not treasure to me but treasure to Byron. Hmmm, I suppose it’s hard to tell a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds that M&Ms are not treasure, so I guess treasure it is. I can’t wait to see his face upon sighting my *cough, cough* masterpiece.




Off to wrap his presents ready for his big day!

Happy Anniversary to me...

It’s Trevor and my anniversary today. Six years since we got married!

WOW!!!

We aren’t very big anniversary celebrators around here which, when I think about it, is pretty poor. We don’t have any traditions and we’ve never really done anything, aside for perhaps dinner, to celebrate when we got married. We did cards initially (never gifts) but that kind of died towards the third anniversary.

I’m thinking maybe it stems from me being 39 weeks pregnant on our first one.

Perhaps though that’s just an excuse…we’re just slack and oh I married a man that is without a doubt the worst gift shopper and a hopeless romantic who couldn’t organise anything! Is that a bit harsh? I suppose I should accept some responsibility in that department. I guess it’s just that I’m kind of a traditionalist – you know, that the man be all romantic and organise something amazing. I’m living in a dream world still. You would think that after 6 (or sorry 10) years I would realise that the man I married is none of the above.

He may not be any of the above but he is other things. He is handsome. He is quick witted and funny. He is emotional. He is the BEST father. He loves me. He is my BEST friend and companion. He is My Husband. 98% of the time that makes up for him not being a romantic or forthright, but then there is still the 2% when it does, but hey, we can’t all be happy!

Today we dropped the kids off at my sisters and went out for lunch. Honestly, it was just lunch but it was nice to rid the kids for a few hours and head out. We stopped into see little miss Alivia – oh my she was sweet…I really need to keep away from those newborns; I‘m way too clucky – then it was off to lunch. After lunch we went to Kmart to pick up Byron’s birthday presents, or at least that’s what I thought would happen. You see, Kmart had apparently sent my layby off site accidently with all the Christmas laybys. I WAS NOT HAPPY! Thank god I decided to go and pick them up today instead of Thursday otherwise it would have been to late to do anything and there would have been no hope to get them by Saturday. Apparently, they'll be instore by Friday! Arrggh!!! I'm still so mad though.

Tonight was an exciting night! I gave Byron the Women’s Weekly Birthday Cake book and said ‘pick whatever you want’ (secretly hoping that it wouldn’t be the rocket or the castle because, whilst I'm having Friday off work, I need the day for other things aside from spending 8 hours making a cake). I sat next to him as he painstakingly examined every page of the 215 page edition. He critiqued every cake… “I’m not having a Barbie cake” or “Is that Jelly”. “That’s cool”. “That’s too scary”. In the end I was secretly happy with his pick – it was one that I was hoping he would pick. It’s easy and versatile!

So that’s it for today – it’s not roses and chocolates and romantic days out but it was a fulfilling day none the less.

Happy Anniversary to me!

Dandelions

Byron is helping me with some entries I plan on doing for a Photo Competition. And lets face it, I’ll need all the help I can get (hint, hint – if you can think of any cool, original ideas to use (separately in a photo) a red ribbon, tea light, candle, cocktail umbrella and a green crayon, I’m all ears. Pweeeeaaassseee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Anyway, we were scouring the back yard for a lady beetle, caterpillar or bug of any kind but do you think we could find any? Nope. Well actually I spotted a lady bug but she flew away before I had the change to go in for the catch. Drat! So, after half an hour, we moved on to some other fun stuff – Dandelions!

Byron loved picking them up and blowing them so I thought what the heck, I won’t get any entries for the competition but I’ll get some cute pics and that I did….




Our grassless, weed filled backyard can prove useful and fun in some departments. We managed to pick every remaining Dandelion before Trevor came in for the kill – with the mower of course (and I’m referring to the weeds, not us!).

Easy Saturday...

I’m so happy that this weekend is ‘vacant’ - I don’t really have anything on. By anything I mean a photo session, party etc – you know those weekends where things are just kind of booked up and before you know it, it is Sunday night and the dreaded Monday comes next. I’ve had so many of those lately (next week is one of them again).

There are still a few scheduled events like swimming today, plus Byron had a birthday party but other then that, my Saturday is free! Speaking of swimming, I tagged along today – Trevor is the new swimming parent – for the first time this season. Byron’s been back swimming for 3 weeks and Lily 2 (thanks to the dreaded gastro she had). I thought Lily would be a little bemused by the whole thing, especially considering her bath antics over the last few months (which are getting MUCH better these days – she will often sit but that isn’t guaranteed) but she seems to love it. She got so excited over all the little details this morning, like her new swimmers and her towel. Her new favourite catch phrase after swimming is “I splashed around”. It's so cute when she says it...moving her hands in a splash like action.

Byron is slowly but surely getting much better with his swimming. He’s at the point where I wouldn’t worry that he might drown if he fell in a pool. It’s safe to say he could get to the other side. He is more learning technique now – how to breathe when doing freestyle and stuff like that.

I love easy Saturdays...I wish there were more!

Of course, it goes without saying that I took my camera along for some photo action.










Oh! Oh!...just on another note, one of my dear friends gave birth to a little girl Alivia Cate 9lbs 4oz this morning. She has a little Boy a bit older then Lily so I'm really excited she has a girl - they are so, so fun! Off to visit her tomorrow. Sigh. I bet I get even more clucky then I already am.