“Done Poos!”

Lily’s favourite catch phrase of the moment is “done pooeys, done poos”. Trouble is every time I check these days, there is nothing there. No poos. About 5 minutes after I’ve checked, I usually notice the waft of smelly duds. Doh!

On Monday afternoon, Lily kept uttering her famous catch cry for about 20 minutes. Every time I checked there was nothing there. There were no dirty duds; it was a case of the little girl who cried poos.

Then it came to bath time. I popped her in the bath and went out to get something (and no I wasn’t gone long) when I heard her screaming. By the time I made it in there she was hysterical; screaming like a banshee. She was pointing to something and I thought she was saying “ant”...it was hard to make anything out the way she was crying. I kept reassuring her that the mark on the side of the bath was not an ant, that it was just dirt. After about 30 seconds of her constant screaming I noticed a little ‘log’ float by in the water. Argh! Lily had done a poo in the bath and in doing so had worked her self into such a state she couldn’t be settled down.

That brings me to Tuesday, Wednesday and today. Bath time has been a nightmare. It seems Lily has developed a phobia – and I mean a severe phobia of the bath. It’s like she associates the bath with doing a poo or loosing control. She will not sit. She screams. She stands rigid, with her legs together peering every few seconds over her shoulder as if looking for poo. The poor little mite is so petrified that if she sits down she will not be able to control herself and that feeling is bothering her a lot.

It’s horrible to see. It doesn’t matter how much we reassure her she still screams. I feel so helpless. It takes both Trevor and I to bath her - one to hold her and the other to wash.

Lily used to love bath time. Sigh. I wonder if she will ever like it again.

Tomorrow night we are going to try something else. I know our bath won’t work because she positively hates the spa bath and since we moved in she has only been in there twice and both times she screamed. Showers don’t really work at all either these days – it seems Lily has become a fussy bather. On advice of a friend (thanks Kyles) we’ve decided to try the laundry tub for a change. We need to try something to get her past this experience and over the phobia she has developed of the bath.

Wish us luck!

Arrghhh…what’s smooth?!

Nothing ever goes smoothly in my life. Not at all.

You might recall I mentioned that we sold our old place – finally after 4 months. Well, it was subject to finance which was due tomorrow. I just got a call from my solicitors and they have advised the purchasers want an extension until 8 August to organise their finance. I granted the extension on the basis settlement would still proceed on the 18th.

Of course, I got off the phone and totally freaked out – thoughts of bills, bills and more bills running through my head. Thoughts that the contract would fall through and we would be stuffed financially. I was so freaked out I actually rang the real estate agent to enquire as to what the issue might be because they had said they didn’t envisage a problem with the finance.

After a few phone calls I was advised that the purchasers went overseas shortly after signing the contract and it was likely that the need for the extension rested with delay with signing documents etc and nothing more. It was a relief to a small extent. Still though, I have horrible thoughts running through my head.

I guess all I can do now is wait (and pray) that the 8th comes and goes and by the 18th the house will no longer be ours.

What fairytales are made of...

As promised, here are some more snapshots of the wedding which I’ve managed to find from all over the place! Its times like these I wish I had a little ‘hand bag’ sized camera so I could capture what I wanted to capture. Oh well. I used one of the bridesmaid’s little point and shoot cameras to capture as much as I could…now to just wait for the CD so I can have fun processing them (and I’ll be sure to post a heap more – you’ll be sick of wedding photos by the time I’m done!).

Honestly, I’m lost for words as to what to say about the wedding. How’s that…me lost for words!? It simply was, aside from my own of course, the best wedding I’ve ever been too (and I’ve been to plenty of great ones). The atmosphere was second to none. Those Greeks sure know how to party! From the weather, to the ceremony, to the reception - everything went like a dream. It was as perfect a day as one could wish for.

It really was what fairytales are made of...

First things first, the weather here in Brisbane has been totally crapola the last week or so, so to wake on Saturday with perfect winter weather was amazing. We all thought it would be one of those rainy, cold, stay in bed kinda days. I know Natalie was worried about it the previous week – who wouldn’t. Isn’t that a bride's worst fear…that it will rain on her wedding day, even if it is supposed to be good luck. It was such a pleasant surprise to have beautiful weather especially when we were wearing strapless dresses and Lily, a little sleeveless dress.

Aside from being a little pushed for time at the end – it took one hour to put Natalie’s dress on…something to do with the hoop not being straight – which prolonged the bridesmaids getting ready and so on. In the end though, all was great and we made it to the ceremony on time. We travelled in style in a stretch territory. It wasn’t the ‘elegant’ limo Natalie had ordered – apparently it was an upgrade that she wasn’t happy about. I loved it. Byron kept saying “It’s not a Limo because Aunty Natalie said it’s not a limo” to the driver. How embarrassing! Byron and Lily travelled in it too which was no doubt an adventure for them. Lily, bless her little oversized cotton stockings, fell asleep on my lap.



Byron and Lily were so cute walking down the isle. Byron had to be prompted a bit to take off but he did well, walking down the isle looking everywhere but straight ahead – admiring all the art work and the church ceiling! I held Lily’s hand on the way down because, as expected, she wasn’t going to hold Byron’s hand. They were such good little kids both standing in the same spot, not uttering a word for 20 minutes, until I decided it was better to let them sit with Trevor. Byron stood up near the fellas and Lily near Natalie and me. She stood there staring up at Natalie and devouring her single stem rose. Gosh it was adorable. Every now and then I would glance at Byron and couldn’t help but smile. He was so proud. I was so, so proud. Sigh.

(I'm hiding...but look at my Lily. Worthy of a collective awwhhh don't you think?)

The ceremony, although very traditional, was lovely. It went for approximately 45 minutes, which kinda flew by. The only problem was that my feet weren’t too happy at standing in those darn heels for that amount of time. Leaving my feet aside, and the fact I couldn’t understand ¾ of the service, it was beautiful and different to anything I had seen previously.

I think I should mention Nat’s ring about now. OH. MY. GOSH. That girl is spoilt. Her wedding band was amazing - 0.7ct of diamonds to go with her huge rock. Every girl’s dream.


After the ceremony, there were professional photos. I’ve decided wedding photography isn’t for me – at least not in the foreseeable future. I’ll stick to babies. I'm looking forward to seeing the end results of the photos though. Byron and Lily didn’t come along for professional photos. They left with Grandma.

(A capture of mine with a trusty point and shoot camera)

The reception was amazing. Every single detail had been taken care of. The food was probably the only thing that was a little disappointing although I wasn’t really in an eating mood.

(The newly weds)

(The best man and I - at this stage it's about the only full length shot of me)

(It's Greek custom to apparently have a bottle of Scotch on each table...it went down well with all the guests!)

The atmosphere was electric. Everyone danced which is always a sign of a good party. Pretty much every Greek guest, and half everyone else (even me), partook in Greek dancing (including the Zorba). I had no idea what I was doing…I just ran around in a circle moving my legs like I was doing something, hoping no one would notice!

Natalie and Ross just looked so in love. Everyone shed a tear or two, including me, during his speech when he said, “everyday I wake up next to Natalie and love her more with each day”. Sigh. Their body language was of those in love. They really are so sweet together.


I’m not normally the jealous kind but can I just say the thought of them sitting in the warmth of Santorini is just down right depressing – for me not them. They are on the trip of a lifetime. Six weeks of travel around the Greek Islands, Greece, Italy, Venice, France, Rome, and London. Sigh. I would give my right leg to go on a trip like that. I hope they have the time of their lives...they deserve it.

Sneak Peak

Just quickly...Natalie's wedding was delightful! It was amazing! It was splendid! Just perfect!

She looked stunning. The picture of the perfect bride.

Here are some of the only pictures I snapped on the day (I tell you what - you won't see me doing weddings any time soon - way too hard!).

I'll be sure to post some 'happy snaps' as soon as I can get my hands on them. Oh...I'll also post some of the couple too. For now, these will have to do.

Toast to the Bride

I finished my speech for the wedding. I hope it's ok. I hope my sister likes it. I never really know what to say in speeches - It's not my strong point. With a little inspiration I managed. I tried to be creative. I tried to make it as short as I could because God knows I think she has speeches coming out of her ears and lets face it knowbody wants to hear them all. Anyway, I'm happy with what I've written....

"Natalie, when you were first born, Mum told me I adored you. She said I wanted to hold you and feed you and kiss you every chance I got. I loved to rock you in your little rocker. Apparently, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. We were ‘mates’ instantly.

Then we got a little older and you started to annoy me. I couldn’t go anywhere without you following me along for the ride. You used to call us – Nathan and I – ‘kids’. ‘Kids’ this and ‘kids’ that. "Kids wait for me"! It was cute…but when you’re 8 and trying to be ‘cool’ in front of your older friends, then, well, it was so far from cute it wasn’t funny.

When quizzing mum about what things were like with you when we were young I was trying to get some ‘stuff’ to work with in this speech. Apparently though, there was no “if you cried, I got the blame” or “if we were fighting, I had to give in first”. There was no “hair pulling” or “black eyes (I saved that for Nathan!)”. I thought maybe, I might have tried to get rid of you or give you away when you were born but apparently ‘no such luck’.

We siblings were mates. Always mates and you were just known as the tag along with personality to burn.

Looking back now, as a mum myself with two littlies, for mum and dad’s sake, I’m grateful we were ‘good mates’; that there was no ‘sibling rivalry’. I guess I’m also grateful that I didn’t wish you left behind at the local shopping centre because; you started to come in handy when you were older. You were good for playing dolls with and of course you made the best slave.

As we’ve grown older, we’ve undoubtedly grown closer. That four and half year gap has whittled down to nothing. We share in the ups and downs of life as any friends do. I know I have a busy life, and that I’m not always there to help you when you need it most. Please know that I do try, although you might not think it at times. Just know that I love you and that you are the greatest sister in the world.

One of the things I love about you most and is of most importance to me now is the love that you share for your niece and nephew. Byron and Lily are so incredibly lucky to have an aunt like you. We don’t have a large family and you are ‘pretty’ much it when it comes to ‘local’ relatives And now, that you are marrying uncle Ross, who might I add the kids simply adore – 'Uncle Ross' this and 'Uncle Ross' that, it simply couldn’t get any better for my kids, which as you know when my kids are happy, I’m happy.

Today, on your wedding day, how beautiful you are in that gorgeous white gown. How happy you looked walking down the aisle. My little kid sister, now married to her childhood sweetheart. As I watch you tonight I wish I could bottle that love and joy oozing out of you; wrap it up with pretty paper and a bow, and give it to you as a wedding gift. Then you could take it out on a dismal day and be right back here, in this place, eating and laughing and dancing with everyone. But I don’t think you’ll need such a bottle. The reminders of this special day will be all around you: in the photo album on your coffee table, in the picture frame hanging on the wall, and in the shining band you wear on your finger every day. Use these reminders as a source of comfort and strength during the hard times. And let them bring a brighter smile to your faces in times of happiness.

Natalie and Ross, always remember this special day. Remember how you feel right now. Let that feeling guide you through a long and happy life. Congratulations!

...and can I have some more nieces or nephews soon!!!!"

Hens Night Fun

I remember fondly my hen’s night. Who could forget about guys that were the cheesiest creatures ever and not at all ‘hot’!? They were just ridiculously on themselves that it was down right hilarious. That coupled with lots of alcohol made for the funniest night ever. For those wondering, we ventured on to the ‘wild boys afloat’ tour. I’m having fits of giggles just remembering it – the half naked men – cause they never do remove those g-strings (talk about double standards) – holding my hands and rubbing them, ever so sensually (NOT) over their waxed, baby oiled chest – eewwwhhh. Oh the memories.

My sister didn’t want anything like that and to be honest I’m grateful. I loved it when I was 24 and got married but gosh, I don’t think I could go it now. I’m a prudish 30 year old mother for crying out loud – I have standards now!!

We (aka my sister) decided that we would have something at my place which kind of suited me because I didn’t have to get any form of cab ride home, which is always a bonus. We decided to go for a cocktail theme and everyone just put in.

Of course, it goes without saying that my sister got to don the usual attire for a bride to be – a condom, dick whistle laden veil with devil horns to boot. Lets not forget the whistle and dick bubbles for good measure.

We drank cosmopolitans and martinis. The jelly shots were a tad potent but still consumable. My choccies went down a treat. He he he. There was design a wedding dress and matching underwear in toilet paper game; design the best looking Willie out of playdoh game (I should mention I won!); and peel the banana with no hands and eat it trick. As the night wore on, out came Singstar (after we had to call Trevor home to connect it and even then it was being temperamental) and that was a bundle of laughs as it always is.

It really was a great night except for the filthy, filthy floor which Trevor mopped at 2am in the morning (three times over to get it clean). So long as my sister had a good night, I was happy and as far as I’m aware she did.

(The bridal party)

(...so whacha think of my choccies?!)

Wedding Bells!

I can hear them ringing.

Less then a week to go before my sister gets married. Yay!

We had the hens last night but I'll report on that shortly - feeling rather tired today!

Opportunity Knocks

You know those times in your life when you get an opportunity that you simply can not pass up? You know, the kind of opportunity where regret would haunt you forever if you didn’t take it?

Well, an opportunity just like that popped up for me this week. I got an opportunity, whether by chance or sheer luck (I don’t know) to attend a photography retreat with one of the gurus of children and family portraiture (both in Australia and around the world), the one and only Miss Jinky, Barb Uil.

I’m totally beside myself with excitement. I simply can not wait until October when I pack my bags for the weekend and head to Canberra with 14 other photographers to learn from the best. Gosh, how’s a girl supposed to wait 3 months …I feel like a kid waiting eagerly for Santa to come down the chimney. I just can’t!

It’s not cheap and there’s so much more I could spend my money on – especially at the moment – but like I said before, regret would irk me for years to come I’m sure if I didn't jump at the chance. Money simply can’t pay for an opportunity like this.

I’ve paid and got confirmation! Now to book some flights and I’m set.

Eeeekkk! I still can’t believe it.

Artistic

I knew exactly what I had in mind when I decided to get Byron to lie down outside in the alfresco area on my black felt yesterday. I wanted something artistic. Something different. I think that's what I got.

Byron is the perfect model. Besides being totally gorgeous...he is always (ok well not always - he limits me to about 10 shots) willing to let me snap away.

I couldn’t be happier with the shots I got. They are different, probably not everyone's cup of tea but they are artistic and well, my desired outcome.

You judge.

And just to prove he was happy (in case you thought he looked rather serious)...

“Peeeesseee Mummy!”

Lily’s new catch phrase…head titled to the side, eyebrows raised, softly spoken…

“Peeeesseee Mummy. Peeeesseee!”

She thinks it will get her anything.

She thinks it will win me over.

She thinks that’s all it takes…a simple “Peeeesseee mummy. Peeeesseee!”

Am I a sucker or what? It works nearly every time, especially when her sweet little toddler hand grabs hold of mine at the same time, head titled to the side, eyebrows raise and in a softly spoke voice she says “common mummy…lets go. Peeeesseee!”

If you thought I was bad “Peeeesseee Daddy. Peeeesseee!” gets Trevor every time!

She knows how to work her charm that girl. We’ve just go to figure out a way to resist it.

Good News

Finally, after some poor decisions on our part (regarding two previous offers – one of which in hindsight we should have taken given the market crash here in Queensland) we have finally signed a contract on our old place. Of course, it’s subject to finance as well as pest and building so I won’t be able to rest easy until the contract goes unconditional, but at least there is hope!

The offer was $2K less then one that was made three months ago which sucks but at the end of the day we are happy just to get it off our hands.

So, all I can do is cross my fingers and hope to God that it all goes smoothly. God knows, I need it to. Really I do.

On his lonesome…

My little guy had his very first shower tonight all on his lonesome. He’s had plenty of showers before but someone has always been in there with him.

He and Lily almost always have a bath together. Today however, on account of her being sick, she had already had a bath so instead of popping him in one all by himself, something we had done many times before, I thought he was big enough now to try his very own shower experience.

He did so well. He washed himself, all by himself. He washed his hair, all by himself (ok well nearly – I 'had to' pour the shampoo on his head). He had a good ol’ time drawing on the shower glass. He had a good ol’ time period.

I hope the new experience doesn’t bring with it a farewell to the old. I mean, my boy’s still little right?! He’ll still be having baths for a little while yet…or at least that’s what I’m hoping. Tonight was just a taste of big boy freedom. He’ll have to grow a few years older before he gets any more familiar with showering on his lonesome – I’m a cruel mother aren’t I?

Tomorrow night it’s back to the trusty bath and bath toys to boot.

He he he…and of course, it wouldn’t be a ‘first’ experience without my camera in hand.

When I'm 18...

We would be hard pressed to pass by a ute these days without Byron proclaiming that he’ll get one just like it when he’s older. He wants a green ute, red ute, white ute – any ute really. He wants a ute like Uncle Ross’. Today was no exception. It just so happened that there was a little (by my standards anyway) green ute parked next to our car after I picked him up from kindy. The following conversion ensued…

Byron: “That’s the ute I’m going to get mum, when I get bigger. I want a green one like that."

Me: “Really?!”

Byron: “Yep! That’s the one.” (So far, I'd say he has a running tally of about 50 utes that are 'the one')

So, we got in the car and drove off. A little bit further down the road Byron started discussing the ute again. He proclaimed… “I’m going to put paints in my ute…you know in the hole in the back…in the ute…where the big tires are…like that one (pointing to yet another ute on the highway). I’m going to put lots of paints in the back and I’m going to get boxes [I presume he’s talking about the tool boxes often seen in ute trays] in there too and I’m going to put paint brushes and more paints in there."

Me: “So, are you going to be a painter?”

Byron: “Yep! I’m going to be a painter when I turn 18. Do you think I’ll be able to drive when I’m 18? I’ll have to get my licence but before I get my licence I’ll have to sit in the front and see what it’s like to drive. Do you think I’ll get my licence when I’m 18?”

Me: ….speechless…dreading the thought he will one day be 18 with a ute and a licence!

More Vomit

…and on the carpet no less. Arggh!

My poor Lily Pilly was quite the ill little flower this morning. We were all ready to go to work. She was in our bedroom with Trevor and I when all of a sudden she started lying down on the floor. I thought it a bit odd – I mean what toddler will just lie on the floor, still, for no reason? Then, a split second later she started coughing and out it came. I wasted no time in scooping her up and running full pelt for the tiles. Lucky I did because it just kept on coming.

So, there we all were, ready to leave the house when vomit struck. I didn’t know which way to look…Trevor was holding Lily so she didn’t trample on the vomit laden tiles while I’m running around like a mad woman trying to find something, anything, to clean the carpet – again! Lucky for us I managed to get it off.

In the meantime poor Byron was screaming that we would have to call the doctors because she was really sick and that he didn’t want her to die. Sigh. He just loves her so much!

Then came the dilemma…who would stay home? I already had two days off last week with the kids but Trevor just started a new job. He was nine days into it. So, who was it to be? It was decided he would stay home today. He rang his boss and she was cool which was a relief. That’s the hardest part about working fulltime with kids – juggling it all - trying to be there for them when it’s not always possible. Sigh.

As it turns out, Trevor and Lily had a nice day. He watched four Wiggles DVDs with her. They sat outside and watched the diggers ‘cut’ the lot next door. There was no more vomit and by the time I got home with Byron (whom I might add she missed immensely) she was a happy little poppet and ready to play. That’s just the way I like it…Did I mention how much I hate vomit?!

Finding the Light

The one thing I loved about the old place was the lighting. There was so much 'natural light' about the place which was perfect for photography. Everywhere you turned there was lovely light streaming in the windows.

I love practically everything about my new house except one thing. I hate that it's so dark. The big open area is dark. The kids bedrooms are dark. I would say that 80% of the house is dark and it really urks me. I love light and airy, not dark and gloomy.

Before I moved in I had visions of light streaming into my windows...lots of lovely light, making it perfect for photography. How I was mistaken. It's a photographers nightmare.

It's so bad that we will have to, at some point when the finances allow, get some skylights put into the family room. I'm hoping that will create a more light and airy feel to the place.

In the meantime, don't get me wrong, there is light in some of the rooms (i.e playroom and media room - them being at the front of the house) and I try to soak up that light as much as I can. Unfortunately, the mountain of children's toys and the TV get in the way of any kind of photography. For about an hour there is just enough in my bedroom to get some half decent shots which is better then nothing. My poor kids! I'll be rounding them up at the same time just to get some snaps in before the light disappears.

Deflated

You know those times in your life where nothing seems to go right; you feel like crap and no matter how hard you try you just can’t seem to snap out of it? Well, that’s me at the moment. I seriously don’t think I’ve wallowed in my self pity like this for a really long time. Today, I sat on the lounge in my pyjamas and haven’t moved all day, except to the kitchen. I have no patience. I don’t want to see people. I don’t care for the internet, my photography or even playing with my kids. I just want to be alone.

I want to dig a big hole and hide away…hide away for ever!

Sigh.

I suppose it’s been a long time coming really. We still haven’t sold the other place and I am sick and tired of having no money. I hate working full time, am not completely fond of my job at the moment and I desperately want to cut back but I can’t.

I was travelling along ok – trying to look at the positives in life until Friday when I stuffed up. I stuffed up badly at something, I’d rather not say what (because I’m totally embarrassed), and well, I just feel rejected, worthless and stupid. I simply feel deflated.

I think Friday was the icing on the cake and synonymous of my life.

I’m normally a positive person and I look at the things I have and I’m grateful – health, two gorgeous kids, husband, family, beautiful friends and a nice house. Today that’s not enough. Today I can’t help looking at the bad – the struggles – the constant crap that goes on in my life and wonder when it will end. No matter how hard I work – and that’s damn hard – it’s not enough…it’s never enough.

I just want to struggle less, worry less and just coast along but nothing is ever cruisey in my life and I’m totally over it.

I’m really unhappy and feel so guilty for feeling that way especially when there are people out there who are far worse off. Really, my life isn’t at all bad so why should I complain? As true as that may be, that fact remains I’m not in a good place right now. I’m really not.

I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know what it will take to make it better (short of a lotto win maybe). I just know that I want to be in that ‘happy place’ again.

Sigh.

Spanish Princess

My pettiskirts arrived from the USA yesterday - photography props. Very exciting indeed.

Since I was home with the kids I decided I would make the most of my time and 'try' (being the operative word) to get some shots of Lily wearing the gorgeous skirt...a perfect fit for her. Naughty me stripped her off in the middle of winter. It was warm though plus she was only 'topless' for 5 minutes *blush*.

Doesn't she look like a little Spanish princess?! Just gorgeous. For the record, the headband lasted about 15 seconds literally. She wasn't a fan. She's not a fan of the head gear which of course I hope will change. Her hair is slowly but surely getting longer and soon, no doubt, it will require some managing...something she's isn't to keen on at the moment.

Into the light...

Whilst it's not for everyone, there is something about this image that I just love. It has a dark and moody side.

Techinically though, there is a fair bit wrong with it but sometimes I guess, you have to get past the 'techinicallity' of an image. If it speaks to you then that's all that matters in the end. And this image speaks to me...

Baby Tayla

I'm just sharing some shots from my newborn session with Miss Tayla. She was such a good little poppet. She didn't cry once! She loved being in the nuddy which helped take the cutest photos.

There were quite a few I loved so I thought I would share them here - there are many *blush*.