Monday, December 31, 2007

Reflections and Resolutions

For the last few days I have been thinking about what 2007 meant to me and what I hope to gain from 2008. 2007 has been a blur; a complete and utter blur. It seems like it was only yesterday I went to bed and woke up to 2007. Sure it’s been a good year with the kids and all but it’s also been a difficult year; probably one of my most difficult to date.

At the outset I would have to say working fulltime and raising two young children at the same time is much easier said than done. It has tugged at my heart strings on many many occasions and I have questioned my role as a mother countless times as a consequence. I know now that it was something I had to do. It was something I had to do for my family’s financial future otherwise we would never get ahead (or stay afloat). I know my kids love me and I hope they will one day realise that sometimes you have to make sacrifices in the present for rewards in the future.

Taking a fulltime job was merely a stepping stone to future part time employment. I know that sounds stupid but I knew that if I could get through this year as a full time mum I would have the option of working part time in 2008.There are really no part time jobs in my industry so this was one of my only options. The decision is paying off with my employer granting my request to work part time (4 days a week in early 2008). As soon as a colleague returns from a secondment (date to be advised) I will get my wish to work 4 days and for that I couldn’t be happier.

Speaking of financial standings I would have to say that despite me working full time, this year has been tough in that stake. I hate that I’m working so hard yet we barely manage to stay afloat. I know we are building a house and as a consequence paying money out everywhere but life is still hard – mortgages, childcare, petrol, general living – it’s hard! Trev and I have struggled in that regard our whole marriage. My pregnancies with the kidlets were a major financial struggle for which we are still recovering. I hope and pray that 2008 will provide an end to the struggles (as much as one can wish for without winning lotto).

I’m scared of the big looming mortgage yet excited that we will have our own place. God knows our family needs it. I have written about our struggle in that regard previously so won’t delve much further other then to say the early part of 2008 couldn’t go quickly enough…we want to get into our much loved house.

2007 has been a difficult year for Trevor and me…not one of the best. The financial struggles and the stress of working hard have taken a toll. We don’t go out much because we don’t get the time and umm err well there are the children – someone needs to look after them. I have decided that in 2008 we will focus on us a little bit more, even if it’s just a DVD night in the new house, once a week, in front of the big TV – chill out time for us.

Working fulltime has really played havoc with the ol’ body. I was doing so well when I went back to work in March but lack of time, and poor habits have lead to some weight gain. I hope that in 2008 I can regain the discipline I had for my health. My sister is getting married on 26 July 2008 and I want to be the best looking matron of honour I can be. Then there's my 30th! I have to look gorgeous for that. I want to be happy with myself inside and out and hopefully in 2008 I can succeed in achieving that goal.

Speaking of myself…I want to do something for me other than getting healthy. I want to do something that interests me other then looking after my children. I want to learn photography or at least get better. I hope to do a course sometime in 2008 and generally have fun with my new found hobby (together with my friends of course – Karen I’m ready?! – hmmm just need the camera first).

Lastly, I long for the third and final instalment to our family. I hope that in 2008 things will start cooking (with little damage to the oven’s health) and that in early to mid 2009 our third little poppet will arrive

Those are but some of my reflections for 2007 and some of my hopes for 2008. I guess we’ll see how I go. Hmmm wonder how I went in relation to my 2007 resolutions? Off to take a look…

Friday, December 28, 2007

My dancing, bobble head baby...

I wish I could make time slow down if only for a moment. My children are growing up so fast. It’s going by at such a rate that sometimes I feel like I’m missing it. I don’t want to miss anything.

I was looking at a photo of Byron holding Lily when she was around two weeks old. It wasn’t Lily that I was drawn to but Byron. He looked so young. His face was so ‘baby’ like. I guess, looking back, he was only a baby himself albeit nearly 3. When I look at the photo now, I see a little toddler boy whereas I probably didn't see that at the time. Now he is well past that stage. He is four going on 15.

Lily is 16 months old today. She is only two months shy of the 18 month mile stone. What happened to my little bubba girl? I must admit, the older she gets the more completely in love with her I fall. I am simply besotted by her. Almost everything she does makes my heart beat that little bit faster. She is too cute!

She follows Byron around like a love sick puppy. When he isn’t there she is lost and likewise, he is the same with her. She babbles away in her own little language. I generally understand what she wants by her hand and facial movements but in terms of vocal ability there are only a few words I understand. These include, puppy (everything with fur is a puppy), duckie, bottle, ball, bubbles, mummy, daddy, ta, hello, bye bye, night night and something reassembling Byron (although it’s different every time).

Speaking of puppy she has learned to bark like a dog. She blows her mouth up, puckers her lips like a fish and says “woo, woo, woo, woo”. She hasn’t quite mastered the sounds other animals make.

On the book front she is getting much better although she prefers to read the same books over and over and over again. She isn’t quite into new books, although I try my hardest to introduce them. When I do, she promptly gets up and goes over to get a book she is familiar with. I guess she finds comfort in the same ones. Her faves at the moment are "Night, Night Baby”, “Dear Zoo” and “Dear Santa” (she hasn’t yet realised Christmas is over). The common theme with all these books is that they have flaps! If I try to read her one without flaps she puts her hand all over the pages trying to find the flaps. I think "Spot" will have to get a work out before the fad runs dry.

The cutest thing she has learned of late is to nod yes. She learned to say ‘NO’ and shake her head a while ago. Now she nods when she agrees with you or you say yes. The funny thing is, when she nods she moves her head back and forward, neck and all. I guess the only way to describe it is like one of the ELVIS bobble head characters you might see in the car. It is the cutest thing and I could watch her nod all day long.

Another one of her new attributes is dancing. She has never really been a dancing baby but of late she has started moving around in circles when she hears music or you tell her to dance. She has also taken to stamping her feet from side to side in a dance like action. My favourite is the arms that she swings around to the music whilst her body stays still.

She has reached the sponge stage of babyhood/toddlerhood (can’t let go of babyhood yet) where she saps up everything. She watches everything you do and copies it all. Byron is a big influence here and not always for the best. She loves him to bits and when he does something she likes to copy. The latest is the squeals. When he squeals, she squeals louder and longer. When he screams, she screams louder and longer. Unfortunately Byron, who knows not to start her off and has been told not to a million times, copes the brunt of the discipline, although, I’m steadily getting stricter with the little Miss. Speaking of which, she hates NO. She looks at you will those big eyes and slowly the bottom lip will drop, the eyes will weal up and the tears will flow. She’s good, I giver her that. Melts my heart every time!

So there you have it. My dancing, ‘wooing’, flap loving, bobble head baby is 16 months old.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

It's all over!

I am one of those people who prefers the tree, and all accompanying Christmas paraphernalia, come down pretty much straight after Christmas. If I had the time I would probably take the tree down on Christmas night.

I love Christmas when it’s here but when it’s over I don’t need any reminding of it so I prefer to get all associated stuff out of the way as soon as possible. Today it all went. I would have taken it down yesterday, Boxing Day, but alas the shops were too accommodating for my liking. Plus removing the tree is something I prefer to do when the children aren’t around.

So today was the day. It’s all over for another year. That’s it!

In other exciting news…I think I might have mentioned the TV hit the wall a month or so ago. We were hoping it would have lasted until we moved but no such luck – it officially died on Christmas Day! We ended up going to get another one today despite really not having the money for it (25 months interest free was inviting…although we only needed four months! We’ll be paying it off when we sell and move into the new house). I guess if it’s any consolation we got a great deal being sale time and all. Trevor is wrapped with it, our first Plasma. In our circle of friends we were one of the last to make it there so much so that one of Trevor’s mates commented, “welcome to the 50” club mate!”. Can’t understand why we waited. It’s awesome. Now I just have to find the time to watch some movies. Hmmm that will require less computer time which may be difficult. How will I manage!??

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Christmas Day 2007

Today I celebrated my 30th Christmas. I have awoken to the magic that is Christmas a grand ol’ total of 30 times. This is Trevor’s 31st, Byron’s 5th and Lily’s 2nd. It doesn’t matter how much older I get it seems to be as exciting as the year passed although sometimes the focus switches a little. In previous years obviously it was all about me - what exciting things I gave, received and of course who I had the pleasure of spending it with. In recent years however it has most definitely been about my kids. They really are the centre of my Christmas Joy. If they’re happy, I’m happy (which is why Christmas 2006 sucked – Byron had gastro and he was miserable). I get greater joy out of watching the children opening presents then I do opening my own.

This year started later then I expected it would. It was I who woke up before they did to the sound of some children riding their new bikes out side. I looked at the clock and could hardly believe it was after 7.00am. My children aren’t early risers – like the break of dawn – but they are genuinely up by 6.00am to 6.30am. Anyway, I digress. I ended up waking (or being rather loud) so that the kids would wake up. Lily woke up first and then Byron shortly thereafter. With one wipe of his sleepy big eyes he was off and down the stairs. We eagerly followed.

His first words were, “O-H M-Y G-O-D I think Santa has been!!!!”

He was so excited and overwhelmed. Lily thought it was funny and wanted to hop straight on to Byron’s new bike. Opening all the presents was great fun. Even Lily got into the spirit. She opened every one of her presents by herself with a little rip start from me. Byron loved the bike but his favourite present was the very last one he opened which was a talking Scooby Doo plush toy and four Scooby DVDs.

This year Trevor didn’t bother buying me any presents which is a bone of contention but I won’t spoil my lovely entry (let’s just say his wallet got stolen on Friday from his work truck and as he had yet to think of me for Christmas, which is a tad upsetting in itself, he didn’t bother after that because he had no ‘money’ or access to money plus I guess I didn’t just want any old thing for the sake of it). I purchased myself a gift (Nintendo DS Lite) and popped it under the tree. My mum, the gorgeous mum that she is, spoilt me rotten as usual so I most certainly didn’t go without on Christmas morning. I got an emerald necklace, shoes, clothes, a beautiful ‘wishes for my daughter’ trinket box full of 365 wishes, one for every day, one of those digital photo frames, stuff for the new house and um well heaps more - I told you mum was a gem!

After we had finished opening and playing with some presents it was time to get dressed in the new Christmas clothes (we always wear what we get for Christmas) and headed to mum’s for breakfast. Going to mum’s for breakfast is my most favourite thing about Christmas morning. I just love the company and the delectable food. This year was no different. The attention to detail mum gives to the little things – like the table (and the kids table) makes it all the more special.



The food was amazing as usual. There was bacon, eggs cooked so perfectly you’ll compare them forever more to any future eggs you'll eat, tomato, toast, croissants, lamb cutlets, baked beans, mushrooms, fruit and chocolate. It was so scrumptious and set the tone for the day.

After breakfast I played Santa handing out presents from the mound so huge under mum’s 7ft fat tree. Again, we were all spoilt.

Following our very busy morning we came home, dumped the presents, picked up the next lot and headed around to the in-laws to say hello (no food this time). Trevor’s sister and her girlfriend were down from Alice Springs. It was so lovely to catch up with them. We stayed for a few hours, did some presents and then headed off to our next port of call – dinner at my step-mum’s place.

My step brother and step sister were back from overseas so my step mother decided she would like to have a late lunch/dinner at her place this year (she and dad aren't married anymore but we used to do Christmas lunch there every year they were married (13 years) and it was always fun). The company was great as was the food, but geepers, by the end I couldn’t fit any where near the required in take in which is of it self a damn shame.

By the time we got home it was dark and the kids were crazy stupid and tired. It was time for them to go to bed – It's ironic that Byron didn’t even get to ride his new bike on Christmas day given we were so busy. Next year we are having Christmas at our new house so there will be plenty of time for kids to play with their new toys.

I was simply exhausted but alas there was no early bed time for me. I spent the rest of the night trying to get any semblance of my lounge room back it was so over come by gifts.

All in all it was a great day! I’m sad it’s 364 days until the excitement begins again.

I wonder what next year will hold (maybe a half cooked baby *wink* *wink*).

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas Eve

With out a doubt I would have to say that Christmas Eve is my most favourite day of the year. The anticipation and excitement of the day is all empowering. The exhilaration and expectation etched on children’s faces is priceless. I simply adore it. Now that I have children in my life I love it even more. In addition, every year I look forward to the hustle and bustle that comes with last minute shopping – as much as I try with all my might to have every present wrapped and accounted for I almost always fail. There is always someone left to buy for (usually my dad).

Christmas Eve this year was technically a ‘work’ day being a Monday and all, but there was no way on this earth I was working on Christmas Eve. There was simply too much to do. I had people to see, laybys to pick up, toys to assemble and presents to wrap and all before 5.00pm when it comes time to head out to our usual Christmas Eve get together.

Being a ‘work’ day Trevor had to work but Kindy was open so I seized the rare opportunity to have the children ‘minded’ for a few hours while I attended to the things I had to get done. I’m so glad I did - there was no way I could have braved the shops with the two children in tow…absolutely no way!

When Trevor returned home from work we hopped straight on to the fun stuff – attending to the assembling of toys. I made a point this year of taking things out of packets where I could to make it easier for the kids on Christmas day (damn Fisher Price and its wire ties on toys). I assembled her little dolls pram and twin babies; the school bus wooden toy box and my favourite – the little red wagon; just like the old school ones. My father in law was roped in to assembling Byron’s bike a few days ago which meant no hiding required as there was no way Byron would see it at Grandma’s house.

After a few little screw mishaps with the wagon (which required some unassembly and reassembly in some parts – not my fault of course!) all was ready to go. I rushed back to kindy and picked the kids up but not before strategically placing Christmas presents over the house to avoid discovery. My bedroom was the main port of call.

After picking up the kids we ducked out to do some last minute bread and milk shopping because in my haste I had forgotten the basic staples of life. Later that afternoon we watched some Christmas shows on TV, listened to some Carols and just generally relished the excitement that comes with Christmas Eve. Byron was super excited about what the evening would hold. Lily just went along for the ride.

As the evening rolled in we got ready and headed out to the usual Christmas Eve bash we attend every year with mum and her partner and his family. It’s kind of a long standing ritual now (although next year it will not be the case as mum and her partner are heading over to Europe for Christmas *sob sob* but that’s a whole other story).

So began the company, presents and delectable food…



Our Christmas Eve get together is all about the kids. My mum’s partner has 3 grandchildren similar in age to my two so he makes a point of it being about the children which I simply love. There is nothing more beautiful then seeing the joy and magic etched on children’s faces which happens (I think) more on Christmas Eve then at any other time of the year. The kids had a blast and were of course spoilt rotten!

By the time we made it home the kids were all tuckered out and ready for bed. Sadly, there were no biscuits or beer for Santa this year – ratty children didn’t allow for that (next year in the new house there will be bigger and better things). After my munchkins were tucked in bed I popped the Corals by Candlelight on TV, plopped on the floor and continued my last minute preparations for Christmas. I placed the gifts just so under the tree or in this case around the lounge room) in preparation for the morning. After I’m done with the final preparations I love to sit back, turn off the lights and watch the tree lights if only for a few minutes, and that is what I did this year, following which I headed to bed at what could nearly be described as Christmas morning, for dreams of Santa and magic.

(...spolit as usual - I try every year not to but I just can't help myself!)

On that note...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

The Perfect Wrapping

Do you ever get the warm fuzzies inside when you see a present wrapped just so? As odd as that might sound, it is the case for me. To me the perfect finish for the perfect gift ends with the wrapping. I simply can not understand why one would go to all the effort of selecting the perfect gift just to wrap it haphazardly. It doesn’t make sense.

I have a strong affiliation for bows and ribbons (I have to place one on all the gifts that go under the tree - however Santa doesn’t do bows) and beautiful paper which makes the job of creating the perfectly wrapped present so much easier. Plus, I have inherited the ‘wrapper’ gene from my mother who I must say is the BESTEST present wrapper in the world. She puts just as much thought into her presentation as she does for the gift which speaks highly for her because her gifts are always perfect!

I cannot do the gift wrapping in store (except maybe David Jones or Myer at a stretch). I prefer to spend the time to wrap my present in my style. I really look forward to that at Christmas.

Like I said, my mother puts so much effort into her presentation and I guess I just wanted her to know I see it; relish it; and appreciate it all!

(I told you she was good!!! The above is only but a snippet.)


(...my effort!)

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Another cake…

I think I’m obsessed. I may be in need of some ice-a-cake anonymous therapy. What are your thoughts?

I confess I love the satisfying feeling that comes with seeing the finished product. I love it. I think I’m good at it (by amateur standards - no expert of course). Ok, so I don’t particularly love seeing the kitchen in disarray; mixing bowls strewn everywhere; an array of coloured icing all over my hands, clothes and face. I could probably do without the sore feet that come with standing barefoot on tiles for an extended period. Then there’s the sore back that comes from bending at an awkward position. Hmmmm, the extra calories that come with ‘mandatory’ testing to ensure the cake mixture/icing is just so, probably aren't needed.

I could do with out ‘all of the above’ but then there would be no cake. No cake for me to sit back and ooohhhh over. No Nicole masterpiece. I do love seeing it take shape. I love Trevor telling me how good it is – “that looks great babe”. I love Byron’s expressions when he first sees it which, of it self is evidence that I have done something right…it must look like what it’s supposed to!?

Today we had a Christmas dinner at my sister’s place. I volunteered (as I did for my mother’s group party) to bring the cake. Any excuse. Given I made a Christmas tree cake two weeks ago I thought I would try Santa. I thought he turned out pretty good – the effect was there and he seemed to be a hit for dinner. You’ve gotta be happy with that!

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That's it for a while. No more birthdays on the horizon. No more special events to write home about. I might start thinking about what I can make for Lily's 2nd birthday in 8 months time. Geepers! Only 8 months to go!!

Friday, December 21, 2007

My Water Babies

I look back on my childhood and fondly remember the time I spent in the pool. Now we didn’t have an in ground pool or anything but we did have an above ground one for a while which regularly got used. I remember summer holidays and going to the beach. Mum used to make a point of taking us to Amazons Water Park every year when we were younger and it was so much fun. I can only hope my kids have as fond a memory of water as I did. Trev was a great lifesaver back in the day (ie. teens and early twenties) so I guess there’s hope for some talent, especially if genes play a part.

I would say at the outset that for the most part my kids, in particularly Lily, are water babies. I’m not sure why seeing as though we don’t have a pool and the only regular swimming they undertake is at lessons once a week – it must be the genes! Lily has been doing swimming lessons since she was around 12 weeks old. Byron has been doing them on and off since he was around 15 months.

Last Sunday when we were at Byron’s mothers group little Christmas party (when we should have been at the Wiggles) the kids went swimming. Byron had a blast and begged and begged for one very last swim (it’s a small consolation I guess that Byron had fun on Sunday notwithstanding missing the Wiggles). You couldn’t keep Lily away from the water. She tried her dandiest to get there, which is a pretty scary thought when you think about it.

Lily is what I would term a natural. She has no fear what so ever of water and loves (and I mean loves) to swim under the water. She tries as often as she can to pop that head under. She has now taken to diving in the pool from a standing position, which I think is very clever.

Byron is progressing along nicely too. He can now play around in the pool without ‘help’ although constant supervision is a must. His swimming technique has improved immensely over the last year which I am very happy about.

It’s a comforting thought to know that my kids are learning swimming and doing well with water techniques. I guess now I have to make a point of taking them to the beach to get them accustomed to that. I don’t think Lily has even been (naughty, naughty!).

For what it's worth, Lily is definitely one to watch…

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Frame Stage...complete!

We have a frame!

*happy dance*

I can hardly believe that we've made it this far. It feels like it has taken an eternity to get to this point (although it probably hasn't in comparison to others). It’s such a relief to get to this stage before the Christmas break (if truth be told I just wanted to have something to visit on my Christmas break – a slab was no where near as much fun).

We have had the frame part for a good week now but they were waiting on the trusses to arrive. I’m pleased to advise they arrived yesterday. So now, we have a framed house complete with roof.

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic


Image and video hosting by TinyPic

It’s rather exciting walking around the place imagining your family living there; your furniture placed just so. Seeing it on paper is completely different to walking through walls. My soon to be brother-in-law nabbed some plaster’s chalk from another house being built and drew in furniture. That was strange. At first there were some disappointments with the size of a few rooms but we're past that now. I guess that's to be expected especially when you have only seen what is on paper.

It’s our first real home and I just can’t wait to get in there.

Next is the roof. Apparently, that is to go on sometime around the 9th, 10th and 11th of January. I can’t wait!

Stay tuned...

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Perfect Performance

Yesterday Byron had his first ever little concert – his kinda dance performance.

I had known about the little performance for nearly two months and had made sure, that in between my busy working week, I didn’t miss it. I took the whole day off and geez it was worth it. I couldn’t wipe the smile of my face. Watching him do (or tyring to do) a pirouette with pointed toes was absolutely priceless. All the littlies were delightful.

I loved how one of the little kids just stood there in the line, chewing his fingers doing nothing – off with the pixies. I loved how some of them had no clue what they were really doing (I think Byron was in that category) but yet had smiles as wide as could be, indicative of sheer enjoyment. I loved how the kids wouldn’t take their eyes of the teacher making sure they didn’t miss a beat.

His little show went for half an hour and comprised of 5 little songs. I loved the ballet and the 'never smile at a crocodile' song but my overall favourite was the love song - '1, 4, 3, 2 say I love you', I had happy tears along with all the other gushing mothers (and fathers) in the audience.

Watching my kid up there giving it a go is the best thing ever. He was such a cutie pie. I was gushing with joy and to a great extent still am (I have watched the little video of the performance on my computer no less then 5 times). I’m so looking forward to all the fun events the future holds with me as spectator and my kids as the stars.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I’m such an idiot!

I could kick myself, cry and scream all in the one breathe.

I’m so angry with myself it’s not funny.

We had front row tickets to the Wiggles, which I pre-purchased back in June. I thought the concert was on Sunday 23rd but it wasn’t...IT WAS YESTERDAY!

I missed the concert. I simply cannot believe I could be so stupid?!!! Argh!!!

I’m so disappointed. Our saving grace is that we didn’t tell Byron about the concert. We were going to surprise him and tell him on the way there. Thankfully he doesn’t know that he won’t be going. Thank fully we won’t have to deal with the tears and tribulations of missing such an important event.

Aside from throwing $90 down the drain, I’m bitterly disappointed that I won’t get to see his face and feel his excitement. I’m truly sorry I missed it.

I’m such an idiot!

*sigh*

Mental note: trying to remember all the important events of this year’s festivities, work and everything else which has to be remembered, in my head, isn’t a good idea. I think I need to employ a better strategy.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Monsters, Madness and Scooby Doo!

Byron has a new interest. He likes monsters and spooky kinda things. If truth be told, he has always expressed some interest in all things spooky for as long as I can remember. It took us a whole month after Halloween before he would stop talking about it (and we didn’t do Halloween – it was what he had seen and heard on television).

If he sees monsters in books it evokes discussion. Similarly he will talk incessantly about them if he sees them on TV. Did I mention that he also sees them (or so he thinks) in his room at night – I get the impression he mightn’t be so fond of the ones in the cupboard.

It seems we have found the perfect television show that is akin to his new found interest, and that is Scooby Doo. It was just by chance that we came upon the show. It was a day when the ol’ favourite Spongebob had finished and alas the boy wasn’t happy. There was nothing he wanted to watch on Nick Jnr or Disney Playhouse so we just kept on flicking and came upon the Flintstones (my ol’ fave). He watched happily but regrettably it ended shortly after. We just left the station on and he kept watching with Scooby Doo on next. From that point on, he hasn’t looked back.

It’s the only show that has him mesmerised. He is literally in love. It’s Shaggy this and Scooby that. He talks about the mummies, monsters, and everything in between. He tells us about the plot and sings the theme song. He has loved television shows, like Bananas in Pyjamas, Spongebob and Little Einsteins, but never on this scale. I guess the show just interests him.

In a way it is refreshing that a show made in 1969 can elicit the same type of joy, if not more, than a show created today. I loved Scooby when I was a kid. I remember my brother having Scooby sheets as a youngster.

Whilst we have no downstairs TV (it blew up) he happily sits in our room before bed and watches an episode or 2 (there is 2 straight hours of Scooby at night but he doesn’t know that). I love how he calls out my name, for reassurance that I’m around, when the ‘scary’ bits come on.

Fingers crossed, he enjoys it for years to come, like I did too.

Monday, December 10, 2007

I’m an Aunty again!

Welcome to the World
Bronte Ann

...a little sister to Ashlie, born today at 11.05am weighing in at a tiny 2.6kgs.




Awwhhhh how I wish I could give you lots of kisses and cuddles and Byron and Lily could too. Alas, the joys of living interstate. *sniff* *sniff*

Wishing you a life full of happiness, laughter and love. Sending big cuddles and kisses your way my sweet niece.

Aunty Nic xx


Moving in a completely different tangent, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to note Byron’s antics of today. I think its high time Byron refrains from wrestling with his little friends at kindy...there are reasons why it's forbidden. I don’t want to see any more carpet burn on his back or fat lips for that matter.

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Sunday, December 09, 2007

When did it arrive?

The last few weeks have flown by in such a flurry I have no idea where the months have gone. I simply cannot believe that Christmas is only two weeks away. If truth be told, I did know it was well on the way, having put up my Christmas tree in late November. The thing is, when I put up my Christmas tree it was still 5 weeks until Christmas and now it’s two!

In two weeks I’ll have to manage to work fulltime in the busiest of working weeks (everybody wants everything now – before Christmas). I’ll have to do the remaining of my Christmas shopping – hmmm I don’t think ‘remaining’ is the right word since that would denote I have done most of my shopping which is a lie. I’ll have to get in the Christmas spirit some more because it seems a little bit low at the moment. I need to get a Santa photo with the kids (I did get one earlier but I’m not a big fan). Then there are the parties and functions to attend, in between normal life.

*sigh*

We had our mother’s group party today which was a blast. I really do love my mother’s group – they are a fantastic bunch of ladies and the babies (or should I say toddlers) are the cutest around town. They still include me in all the things and events even though I don’t get to go very often, if at all (fingers crossed that will change in the New Year). They also make an effort with Byron too which is wonderful as I'm the only one with two children in the group.

We had a big feast and the children each got one present, worth $50 – one parent got one child to buy for. Lily got a dolly set and a pink chatter phone. Byron got a big construction set, following which he so aptly said “Santa doesn’t need to bring me one of these now because I already got one”. I was on cake duty for the party. I volunteered for that role. I was a little disheartened when all the birthday duties were over for the year that I was just dying to make another. I made a Christmas tree and was pretty happy with the result if I do say so myself.

...Now to enjoy what's left of the silly season.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

My Favourite Photo

I have literally taken thousands of photos with my camera over the years since Byron entered my life. Consequently, I have thousands of photos. There are some that I hate (mainly the ones of me). There are some that I like. Some that make me laugh. Some that make me all gooey with love and then there are some that I just adore.

Without a doubt though, I would have to say, this photo rates as one of my all time favourites.


(My Byron at 15 months)

I can not explain why I love it as much as I do. Maybe it's the simplicity or the 'naturalness'. I don't know! I simply adore it. Thanks to the lovely Karen it's even more beautiful then it was originally.

It's a house!

We have a slab. It's no longer just land but part of a house!

I'm so relieved it's started. Next, there will be a frame and then a roof and then...one day a home; our home.

I can barely contain my excitment.


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Monday, December 03, 2007

Just had to share...

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Bring on tomorrow...but don't rain!!!!!!

*happy dance*

Oh, and one more thing...special mention to my sister Natalie and her now fiance Ross. They got engaged last night, on her birthday. I'm so happy for them. The biatch got a 1.25ct ring *green with envy*. Now I have another wedding to go too. Woohooo!!!

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Photography

I acquired some editing software this weekend (the lovely Photoshop) and oh my! I’m in love! It's truly amazing the type of stuff you can do in these programs. No wonder all the pros' photos look so damn good.

I was out with the camera this weekend and shot some more pics. Here they are…(special mention to the lovely Karen for her black and white ‘pop’).




Not bad, considering I don’t have a DSLR.

Keeping with photography, we got some professional shots taken today. I can’t wait to see how they turned out. We travelled out to some beautiful gardens so there should be some half decent shots if location is anything to go by. The location was great but I can’t say the same for Byron. He was so cranky; didn’t want to take photos and when he did, put on this cheesy horrible fake smile. Lily was a right angel on the other hand until the end.

Mental Note: Do family shots at the beginning…not the end! I don't think we got any half decent ones at all. *sigh*

Finger’s crossed some turn out well.

Friday, November 30, 2007

My yearning…

You know when you have a yearning to do something different? The type of yearning that consumes your thoughts? Well I do. I’ve had the hunger to learn photography for ages, ever since I discovered natural light photography.

The main reason I’m so keen to learn is that I want to take those striking shots of my children - the ones that capture their spirit. I want to take them myself. I want to capture the moment when I see it, as I see it.

At the moment I have just your normal point and shoot digital camera, although it is a good one and does have manual settings. However, I’m not too sure exactly how it all works. So, I want to learn. I have ordered some books form Amazon.com and hope to receive them in the next couple of weeks; nothing spectacular, just beginner stuff. It’s a start though.

Ideally I would love to get my own Digital SLR but alas the finances don’t quite allow for that just yet. If only Santa could afford one! I also hope to do a course sometime soon – sooner rather then latter – but that will have to fit in with fulltime work, kids and domestic duties. *sigh*

I think it’s important to have a hobby; something of interest other then your children and for me – work! I want to accomplish something; see the final results and be proud of what I have done. Generally speaking, I think I have some artistic talent, although not enough to make me a great painter, sculptor or anything like that; just enough to compliment any photographic techniques I learn along the way.

I was out in the garden this afternoon, playing around with my point and shoot, trying to figure out manual settings, (all while looking at the stuff I printed on the web that I thought might get me through until my books arrive). I shot some photos – they're ok. I did cheat though; I think most of them were shot with the camera’s auto function on close-up mode. If only I had a DSLR – I’m sure I would figure it out faster. Oh well…

We have Lily...





Ok, they aren’t at professional standards but they’re ok. Good enough for the album.

PS. Don’t you love her chub – rolls everywhere (just like her mum! he he he).


PPS
. Photoshop or some sort of editing program wouldn't go astray either. *sigh*

Thursday, November 29, 2007

When does land become a house?

As it stands today, our land has plumbing and electricity *happy dance*. The footings haven been done ready for the form work on Monday and slab pouring on Tuesday. We've had some sunny days the last couple (emphasis on couple) of days, so they have been able to get a little bit done.

It's so very exciting to see progress. As expected though, it looks small; really small! Gawd I hope we picked the right type of design for us. It's really hard to tell on paper. Oh well, it's too late now!

Typically, whenever I intend to go and check out the progress of our building project, I generally say “I’m just going to check out the land” or “let’s go to the land”. I was thinking today that soon it won’t just be a block of land...it will be a house.

But when does it become a house? When the frame is up, roof on, bricked and rendered? Is it a house now, merely footings and plumbing? I’m not too sure. You be the judge...

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(We have electricity!)

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(And an ensuite...)


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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Fifteen whole months!

I shudder at the thought of the next 15 months going as fast as the past 15 months have gone. The thought of my baby girl (yes baby…I can’t deal with her being a toddler just yet – give me a few more months) growing up before my eyes is surreal.

I see newborns around the place and think Lily was that small once but alas, that was many, many months ago now – all but a distant memory.

She is definitely developing her own little intricacies. She loves to walk and wander around the place. She is getting really good at it too. Crawling kind of died once she realised she could stand up unaided. It’s been about 3 weeks since then and she hasn’t looked back. She still walks with her hands in the air for balance but slowly they are becoming less obvious. She can’t quite run or anything yet but she is getting faster and more confident every day.

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She is my buddha baby; a solid little thing. I haven’t had her weighed for a while but she would be up there around 11kgs I think. She has the cutest little pot belly and round chubby face. Yesterday Trev commented that she isn’t losing any of her weight and should we be worried. Typical male comment! Umm hellooooo she’s only been walking 3 weeks! I couldn’t care less about her chub…in fact I love it.

Her hair is getting thicker but not longer. I’m looking forward to putting it up in pigtails and clips but for now I’ll just make the most of manageable hair that requires no maintenance. I’m sure I’ll be wishing for that in a year or two.

I know I have mentioned before that Byron was never really a ‘toy’ kid. He had heaps of toys but wasn’t and still to a certain degree, is not overly fussed by them. Lily on the other hand loves them. She loves to roam from toy to toy and she plays with everything. She takes an interest in almost every toy she happens to find around the place, including Byron’s toy cars and his wooden blocks. It’s a new thing for me…the way it’s supposed to be with kids. I really love playing with her.

On reading, she is getting much better. I have taken to reading her 3 to 4 books a night whilst she drinks her bottle and we sit together on the rocking chair. I think she’s enjoying it much more then she did – or at least she sits through books which is much more then she was doing a few weeks ago!

I know she is growing up fast and the baby years are slowly drifting into the abyss. I know she is nearly there in toddlerville. I know it. I just can’t quite accept it yet. I was reading that when children learn to walk, they are called toddlers. It is the time between infancy and childhood when a child learns and grows in many ways. She has only been walking a few weeks so I need just a little more time before I can employ that term.

I need more time with my whittle baby…my whittle buddha baby.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

When I grow up...

"...I want to be a police man. When I catch berguulers I will take them to jail. After I be a policeman I’m going to be a road worker and then an ambulance man and fire man. When I get big I will come and visit but I will change my name because Byron is not an adult name..."

Oh the joys. He is such a treasure. That was a snippet of his conversation with me this morning.

I have been somewhat neglectful of my Byronisms of late. He doesn’t come out with the one liners so much any more. Rather, it is stories – full blown narratives about life in his little mind.

He loves bugs. Byron is a bug lover from way back. He can not stand it when he finds a dead bug on the ground being eaten by ants. He hates it. The gentle soul within compels him to move them away from the ants. There is a down side to Byron being a lover of all things bugs and that is, he considers the dreadful cockroach falls within that realm of loveable beetle! Agghh! No matter how many times we tell him they are pests, he still insists on feeling sorry for a dead cockroach he might see around the place. The other morning when I was dropping Byron off to kindy he found a little dead beetle in his kindy room that must have found his way in there and died. Anyway, he saw the bug and said, whilst picking the beetle up and putting it just outside the door, "I’ll just have to take him outside to Heaven".

Speaking of Heaven...this morning on the way to kindy we were listening to the radio when there was mention that someone had died. The following conversation ensued:

Byron: "He will be in Heaven. He will be alive in Heaven"
Me: "Yes, but he won’t be able to come back"
Byron: "Yes he will...he can just catch a helicopter back"

Who am I to shatter his allusion? Theoretically, I should probably correct these things but I don’t want to. I want him to live in hope; sheltered from the cruelty or pain that can come with growing up and living life. There will be plenty of that when he's older.

My day is filled with conversations that are innocent and splendid. I love them. I am blessed to hear them; to listen to his wonderful discussions about the simple things. My treasure...my son.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Sore Heart

Hearts are a funny thing aren’t they? Rather strange but in a good way. They are the core to your soul in more ways then one. They keep you alive and they keep you living – by living, I mean living in the sense of love, fulfilment and joy.

Yesterday afternoon my father in law had a heart attack. He came home from voting complaining of chest pains. They (my mother and father in law) went straight to hospital – apparently the cheeky bugger had had chest pains for a little while! At hospital they wasted no time in hooking him up to the machines wherein it was noted he was in the grip of a heart attack and it wasn’t a mild heart attack either. Apparently it was a major one. He is 56 years old!!!

Trevor was in a bit of a state as one could imagine and rushed to the hospital to see his dad. Byron didn’t quite understand what was going on. He wanted to go and see Poppy but sadly that was not appropriate. I stayed home with the kids.

Currently, ‘Poppy’ is doing ok. He is in the ICU hooked up to machines but doing well. He has to stay in for another week for monitoring and tests. Fingers crossed all goes well and he will be home and well within the week.

I pray that things will be ok with Trevor’s dad. He has been through a few health issues this past year – prostate cancer being number one. He got through that, so no doubt he can fight this too. I hope for a speedy recover and that his heart gives him no more trouble.

The one thing I have noticed about getting older is that I worry more about my parents and their mortality. As you get older so do your parents. The thought of something happening to them frightens the bejesus out of me, really it does. I simply prefer not to think such things.

Friday, November 23, 2007

No Such Luck!

There was the threat of a storm last night and the threat of rain today. The darn sky never delivered on either threat which just plain sucks. It sucks because, despite the hope something might have been done, the builder’s stayed away. I hate the thought that two perfect days were wasted; wasted for nothing. At least if it had of rained it wouldn’t seem as bad – at least I could curse the weather and not the builder. At the moment I feel like every sunny day has to be made the most of, especially when rain is forecast for the coming days and months.

Disclaimer: You’ve probably noticed a lot of focus of late on my lovely patch of dirt. You see, I’m desperate for things to get cracking. Please ignore my ramblings. My only excuse being I'm completely and utterly over the whole process...I want it to start and my patience has long since gone.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Hand, Foot and Mouth

On Tuesday kindy rang to tell me I would have to come and get Lily because she had a few little blisters on her feet and one on her hand. They thought she might have hand, foot and mouth (not the cow version – the children’s version). They had sent another baby home that day whom they were positive had it. It wasn’t looking good! I jumped straight on the phone and made an urgent doctor’s appointment. Luckily for me they were accommodating.

Being unable to get a hold of Trevor (close to his finishing time – but that’s a whole other story) I had to pack up, yet again, and go and get my baby. Lucky for me I have a reasonable employer who is happy (for want of a better word) to let me leave and work from home when I need to. I know that is neither here no there when talking sick kids but it does make things a little less stressful and easier to manage for me.

When I picked her up she was sleeping soundly. Meanwhile, the carers in the babies’ room were busily disinfecting and cleaning madly in the hope they could curb some outbreak. They showed me Lily’s feet – there was a grand old total of 3 blisters on her feet, nothing in her mouth and I could not see anything on her hands. Nevertheless, they thought she had it and who was I to argue.

My visit to the doctor shed no light. The doctor could not confirm whether she was infected at all, so we had to make another appointment for Wednesday and watch over night to see if she had developed any more blisters.

So we watched...and we watched...and NOTHING!

Not a single new blister – nothing. We thought for sure she would get the all clear. To our surprise, a different doctor on Wednesday thought she might have a mild case and therefore she would have to stay at home until the blisters dried up.

The blisters are minute – that is the two she has (one on each heel) are barely noticeable. It's amazing how two doctors can make completely separate diagnosis’. We have made another appointment for her on Saturday to get the all clear. Finger’s crossed for then.

In the meantime, we have been lucky and managed to juggle Lily’s ailment so I don’t have to have yet another day off work. My mother in law had her this morning until she had to go to work. Then it was off to visit Nanna at work for an hour or two until Daddy finished work at lunch time. The same process tomorrow...I have no doubt Lily loves all the attention.

Poor little Lily seems to pick up more bugs then what Byron ever did. She seems more susceptible. I wonder if she will grow out of it sooner rather then later. Byron is a trooper now. He has had barely a day off kindy through illness this year, which for a working mother is fantastic...makes things much easier to manage.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Wooohooo!!!

We have progress. More progress. Not a huge amount, but progress all the same. I’m delighted.


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(See the wood???? Progress!!!)

I spoke to the builder today and he said they have earmarked tomorrow and Friday to do the foundations/footings so long as it doesn’t rain. According to him they will not dig trenches if there is a chance they will fill up with water. So, I’m praying we don’t get much rain and/or storms for the next few weeks.

If all goes to plan (read: no rain) on Tuesday they hope to do the plumbing and electrical work and *drum roll* they have booked the concreters to lay the slab on Thursday the 29th.

Things seem to be moving along now....one step closer. Wooohooo!!!

In other good news, we got our car back today. Three weeks after the dear bus driver took her bus on a bit of a detour into...ummm...a few parked cars! There were some dilemmas with the excess. The repairer rang and informed me they had not received authority to waive the excess so there would be a fee when we pick it up. Needless to say I wasn’t impressed at all. Five phone calls later (and a claims officer telling me, an insurance lawyer, that people – meaning me – some times don’t understand the insurance process! *cough* *cough* I soon put him in his place) things were sorted.

I’m impressed with the car. It looks great – nice and shiny. I must say, if there is anything good to come out of this, it’s the lovely cut, polish and detail - inside and out - my car received. It smells delicious except for the paint.

In other not so good news, it seems Lily has a mild case of hand, foot and mouth but I'll save that interesting news for tomorrow. I don't want to spoil the wooohooo factor of today!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

A Day of Breakthrough

Today has been a glorious day so far. Byron played brilliantly at soccer this morning. By that I mean he participated. He participated for the whole hour only popping off to get some water. He looked liked he had a great time out there. We thought last week would end much the same as it had the previous weeks. He refused to go on for the first half of soccer until this lovely chap played some ball activities with him on the sideline, eventually coaxing him out to participate with the other kids wherein he scored a goal – a mini breakthrough.

It seems that same chap was coaching the littlies this week due to the normal coach being away. I’m not sure if Byron just felt more comfortable with the coach of the week but whatever it was, I'm just so happy he gave it a go. Fingers crossed he has adopted more of a 'can do' attitude to soccer.

In other splendid news...THE LOT HAS BEEN ‘CUT’!!!!!!!!!!

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It was the most magical thing to see (especially in pouring rain). As I drove there today I thought for sure nothing would be different. I was so over the moon to see something had been done. I am so relieved things are finally starting albeit at a snail's pace. Can you believe it is raining again here today? I just can’t get over this weather. I wonder if we will have some plumbing next Saturday...hmmmm.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Story Time

I thought I would share a little bit of useless information...Lily, being the clever girl she is, can blow her nose. I could scarcely believe it when I put a tissue to her nose the other day and said “blow”. She did exactly that! She blew her nose like a very big girl. I still struggle with Byron when it comes to blowing his nose. He just doesn’t seem to have the knack. Lily on the other hand is an old hat; it’s like she has been doing it forever!

There is one thing Lily isn’t too good at and that is reading books. Not reading in the literal sense of course because she is far too young for that. I’m talking about listening and relaxing whilst mummy reads a story. I have tried on many occasions to read books to her, so much so that I have lost count. But alas, she won’t have a bar of it. One page through the book (any kind of book) and she is off. She just doesn’t seem to be interested at all.

Her kindy carer advised me a few weeks ago that Lily doesn’t have the greatest attention span (she was speaking in consideration of her age). She doesn’t like to focus on things for very long periods, and this includes story time. I know she is young and I am not expecting her to sit back whilst I read countless chapters of Harry Potter. I’m thinking more along the lines of say ‘Spot’. Byron was a lover of books and still is. I could read 10 stories to him when he was around Lily’s age and he would be content to listen to 20 more.

I have wondered if Lily’s lack of interest in books is the result of my time poor lifestyle and the fact I didn’t read many books to her when she was a young baby like I did with Byron. I guess that’s the thing with the first born – it seems you have all the time in the world to do all that fun stuff. For me, it was a case of trying to continue with the routine of reading books with Byron that Lily kinda feel out of the mix. Being a little baby, she wasn’t ‘interested’ in the kind of stories I would be reading with Byron. We generally do (behaviour permitting) stories with Byron before bed but sadly, and I’m embarrassed to say, Lily doesn’t fair in that experience. Every time we have tired, she has mucked around, crawled off and shown no interest at all that it has become distractive for Byron, so we gave up.

Maybe that’s why she just doesn’t seem to like books – there wasn’t enough exposure!?? *bows head in disgrace*

I’m going to make more of a concerted effort with books and Lily. I know there is nothing more frustrating then trying to read a story to a child that is hardly interested in a word you have to say but nevertheless I will persevere and see how it goes. I thought I might try reading her a story while she has her bottle at night – when things are calm.

Tomorrow night, I think I’ll try 'Spot' with the hope that one day she might enjoy the reading experience of 'Where is the Green Sheep', Byron’s most treasured toddler story (and secretly one of mine).

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Sickness and stuff

I've had another bout of the good ol' viral bug these last few days. I felt dreadful yesterday. I hobbled off to work for half the day because I had an urgent piece of work to get out, before coming home to bed, which is pretty much where I stayed until this morning. Thankfully it was ‘Grandma’ day yesterday so my not so well children didn’t have to go to kindy.

I can’t believe my run of bad lack this year. Whilst not as bad as the first winter after Byron was born (which was dreadful) I think I'm still entitled to put up my hand and say I've had my fair share of colds. Similarly, Lily would have to do the same. Byron has not done too badly except for this week’s bug. Trevor, a.k.a ‘superman’ as he would call himself, hasn’t had any remanence of a cold for quite a while. He likes to brag about that fact..."when I get sick...oh wait that never happens...". Hmmm, me thinks he better touch some wood before he gets bitten on the bum.

Moving on from anything viral, the car is still getting fixed. It has been 2 weeks and they have said another week and we should have it. Meanwhile, I’m getting too used to driving around in my brand new hire car. So used to it in fact, that I might have to keep it (he he he).

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Bubbles, Balls & Birds

One of my most favourite things to do is soak it up in a nice warm bubble bath (even in the middle of summer). I just love them; I’ve always had a soft spot for the ol’ bath. It’s the one thing I’m looking forward to most in the new house – my big bath!

Anyway, I think Lily has taken after me. She just loves her bath but even more she loves the bubbles. At first she wasn’t too fond of them; didn’t like the texture and hated the feeling on her face. Now it’s a thing of the past - she loves them. When she sees the bath full of bubbles she comes charging all the while chanting “baaools, baaooles”. The cheeky bugger tries with all her might to get them out of the bath, which includes trying to climb in with clothes on and all.

She loves to put them all over her hands and face. Byron meanwhile thinks the bubbles are all his and positively cracks it when they are taken from his side of the bath –(we’re working on it).

Lily seems to be attracted to all things ’B’. Not only does she love her “baaools” she loves balls (‘borss’), blocks (still undecipherable) and birds (‘bers’). And then there is Byron. She hasn’t quite mastered his name yet; it’s rather undecipherable and different every time. I can’t wait to see what spin she puts on it. I’m sure it will be adorable.

Lily is coming along nicely with her communication skills. For the most part I thoroughly understand my cheeky little miss. She isn’t as communicative as Byron was in terms of her verbal skills but never the less, she has her own style which is delightful in everyway – right down to the way she screws up her nose in disgust. Awwwhhhh she is beautiful.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Damn Rain!

Rain - it’s officially the excuse for why my house hasn’t yet started.

I drove down on Saturday with Byron (It’s a little thing we do together) and could have burst into tears at the sight of my now overgrown lot. I really did expect to go there and see some excavation work, even though knowing the rain we have had of late would have impeded on any progress.

Speaking of rain...I can’t believe we have been in a drought all this time; on water restrictions and it rains on and off right when they want to get started on my house. What are the odds? It's still raining and drizzling.

Anyway, after the sight of my lot I came home and despite trying to restrain myself, I rang the builder. I just vented my frustrations at 6 weeks of nothing and then come Christmas it would be another 4 weeks of nothing. He seemed accommodating just saying, “love…it’s the rain. I only got 2 slabs done last week. I’m behind with all my jobs”. Look I know it’s the rain. I’m not an idiot. I’m just frustrated with 8 months of nothing. When I asked him about what would be done by Christmas he said “you’ll have the slab by Christmas”.

*sigh*

I am feeling so irritated with life at the moment (don’t ask me why) and well, this is just another frustrating step.

The frustration continues...

Lily dropped my mobile phone on Saturday - yes I know she shouldn't have had it and that’s what Trevor told me a million times. She smashed the LCD part of the screen in the phone. All that appears is a black screen with a couple of lightening bolt cracks. No way of seeing any numbers or anything on the phone. It was pretty much unusable unless someone rang me.

I took the phone back to get repaired. It is covered under warranty if they determine it was a manufacturer’s fault (somehow I don't think that will be the case) and I have got a loan phone for now. Mind you, I have no numbers or anything in my new loan phone - I feel naked! I wonder how much I will be up for to fix my phone. More money no doubt - I guess it is just a question of how much.

*sigh* - There seems to have been a lot of these of late.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Rain Rain

I wouldn’t ordinarily think this way given we need the rain BUT...

Go away and come again another day!

How are they ever going to start my new house with all this rain?

It’s been a good 3 weeks since my little meeting with the builder and still (as of Sunday) there was nothing to show but a grassy patch of dirt and some roof trusses that I can’t be sure are even mine.

C’mon already! Can we get this thing started? I’m slowly losing patience.

While we're at it – where is spring, glorious spring? Come back I miss you.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

The All Clear

I don’t think I mentioned as I was waiting for the results, but Lily had a further follow up ultrasound for her hydronephrosis a week ago. I was a little worried about my prospects of keeping a ‘want to be active’ baby lying still on the bed for 15 minutes while they performed the ultrasound.

Me and my wisdom decided a nice big bottle of milk would do the trick and that it did. She was a little champ until the bottle ran out. Thankfully, she sucked it dry at the closing stages of the ultrasound.

The sonographer had told me that he thought the right side appeared normal; however, he advised the left side still appear dilated but nothing significant.

I finally got the results from the paediatrician today. It’s all good news. The paediatrician confirmed the right side as normal and advised the left side was better then it was previously in that it wasn't as dilated. It is still dilated but nothing to cause to much concern. So, it means, we can definitely stay off the antibiotics, which is fantastic.

All we need to do now in relation to the hydronephrosis is take her back in 6 months for another review!

*sigh*

Monday, November 05, 2007

Miss Independent

I left it for as long as I could. I didn’t want to have to succumb to the mess that is a baby feeding themselves.

Honestly though, I don’t know why I left it that long. She has the knack. She is a natural. No mess. No throwing of food (which is something I should have suspected Lily wouldn’t take part in – she loves her food to much to waste it). She can feed herself no dramas. She has great control over her spoon and never misses that mouth of hers. Apart from the odd ‘drip’ off the spoon she is clean.

I love that little bit of freedom I get now that she can feed herself. I especially notice it at breakfast – I can now eat my breakfast at the same time. It’s like I have gained another 15 minutes in the morning.

There are the occasional down sides to her feeding herself. Firstly, she is slow – very slow which isn’t the best when you are in a hurry. Secondly, she has delighted in this new found independence, so much so that she will only let me feed her when she has a spoon in her hand. There is no turning back now…

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Little Miss Independent has just discovered walking – she is walking everywhere. On Sunday, she discovered how to stand up on her own which is a step in the road out of babyville into toddlerville. It was the last reaming hurdle to her walking – standing up unaided. Over the last 2 days since she has discovered her new found talent, she is walking more and crawling less.

I am trying not to be sad about her new found independence – it’s a good thing right!?

My baby girl is growing before my eyes.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Solemn Mood

At the outset, don’t get me wrong. I have 2 beautiful children and for that I am blessed. I have my health, my family and my friends and for that I am indebted.

I just need to whinge, vent, moan, complain – whatever...

You know those periods in your life when everything just seems to go wrong and your life just doesn’t seem blissful? Well, I am going through one of those times at the moment.

I feel like life is a grind; a chore – what ever you call it. What ever it is, I'm living it.

I was just sitting in my lounge room with 4 baskets of washing strewn across the place, clutter everywhere, trying to find something decent to watch on a Saturday night (and we have pay tv) – all whilst Trevor had fallen asleep upstairs (he worked this morning). As I sat there flicking between stations I couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming sense of sorrow. I simply do not feel happy.

Let me paint a little picture...

There are issues with Trevor that I don’t particularly want to pen right at this moment. Lets just say there are trust issues (and no he wasn’t unfaithful – just wanted to clear that up! he he he) which makes life hard. There are some resentment issues on my part too which stem from financial concerns. We don’t’ go out by ourselves – heck we haven’t even gone out for our anniversary yet, which was 6 weeks ago (you might remember Lily had gastro as did I). He gets caught up in his thing and me mine (EB and MSN).

*sigh*

I took Byron to soccer this morning. It was a disaster for the second week in a row. He was participating fine for about 10 minutes. Then they started a game where you had to go under the rope but not touch it. Byron touched it first. He got ‘out’. As soon as he was told he was ‘out’; that he touched the rope, he burst into tears and came running off the field. Despite plenty of coaxing he refused to go back on. So, for the remaining 50 minutes he pretty much hid behind a wall. Last week, the same thing happened. He couldn’t get the ball in the goal and cracked it. Cried and ran off and that was it. I was so embarrassed. I just don’t understand this behaviour. I don’t know what to do about it and I feel helpless. What if it gets worse? What if he can’t participate in sporting activities ever! I feel like it’s my fault; that I’m not around enough. I thought he was such a confident boy – guess I was wrong. Gawd! I don’t even know my own child.

I have decided to persevere with the soccer because I hope that when he gets used to the people he might enjoy it more. I don’t really think soccer is the issue in any event – he is developing a trait in general where he just gives up if he doesn’t get what he wants. He needs to know that not all can be won and that you don’t get your own way all the time. Trevor will take him next week and I hope he has more luck.

*sigh*

Everything is breaking. The cars are breaking left right and centre. There are endless bills (far out and unexpected things – the air-conditioning is making gurgling sounds and will need a service; there were unexpected mortgage fees that needed to be paid).

*sigh*

I’m the worst house-wife and you would think the same if you saw my place – although my besty kindly pointed out to me last night that I WASN’T a house wife so therefore I couldn’t be crap – According to her, I am a full time working mother with 2 kids...when the heck am I meant to do house work? Bless her for trying to make me feel better. It worked for about 10 minutes until I went into the bathroom and saw the state of it!

*sigh*

I am really tired – not physically but mentally. I need a holiday or a getaway from the rut I feel I’m in. Trouble is, work is incredibly busy at the moment; too busy for a holiday. There is no money for a holiday and do I really want a holiday with the kids????

*sigh*

So there you have it! Some of the reasons behind my solemn mood. Who knows...maybe I will feel better tomorrow?

I doubt it...

Friday, November 02, 2007

Hands in the air…

Lily has just decided she would like to walk more; take a few more steps.

She is letting go of things now and walking from one place to another, whereas, before she had to be coaxed to walk.

I love how she walks – hands in the air, as a steady support. It looks like she is praying to the almighty or something. It is adorable. I love her unsteadiness and the way she concentrates just so, making sure she doesn’t fall over. The way she gets all excited when we (including Byron) applaud her efforts, is simply gorgeous *sigh*.

It won’t be long before she is walking more then she is crawling. I envisage this might happen by the time she is 15 months – I wonder if I’ll be right!?

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

It doesn’t rain it pours!!

I’m not sure if I have mentioned it or not but our little runabout car (my lovely little first real car) needs a new engine. She is old; been a favourable ol' darl for all these years (she was born in late 1992). Anyway, her lovely new engine is costing a little packet, which is something we hadn’t banked on – especially after the expense we paid for the other car just a week earlier.

So, we have been without the little runabout for around 3 weeks. We have loaned a car here and there from the relies and for the most part have been travelling along as best we can.

As you can probably tell, we haven’t had the best run of luck with our cars of late and that tradition continued today when...

A DAMN COUNCIL BUS RAN INTO MY PARKED CAR!!!

Yes, you read right! My car was parked in a commuter car park at the local busway station, absolutely no where near any bus access. In fact, the only access to the carpark was vehicle access which at the best of times is a tight squeeze for your average vechile. So, when Trevor rang me at lunch time today to say the police had rang him and my car had been taken out by a bus, I laughed. I laughed out loud at the impossibility of such an occurrence. It was so far out I thought we had been taken for a ride by some prankster. I absolutely would not believe it until I had spoken to the police myself and/or seen the damage to my car.

After many phone calls, it was indeed confirmed that my poor car had been taken out by a bus – in the middle of a busy commuter carpark 500 metres away (on a different side of the road) from bus access. Our car was towed from the scene along with another couple of cars. It seems the poor (and I say ‘poor’ in the most endearing kind of way NOT) lady bus driver, who for some reason or another decided to take a detour through the commuter carpark. Being the carpark it is, well...err...umm it is meant for cars not buses. It seems my little lady friend the bus driver (who had only been on the job for 5 days), could not manoeuvrer her big old Council bus out of the carpark without taking a few extra cars along for the ride. It’s unfortunate that one of those cars happened to be mine.

The car was towed from the scene when it was determined it was un-driveable. Trevor was able to (after much running around) access the car and retrieve the all important items such as the car seats, stroller and the like. The cosmetic damage isn’t too bad. From what we can tell it has more to do with a problem with the wheels. Apparently the car that took the brunt of the bus came off second best.

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I’m grateful there doesn’t appear to be a lot of damage. Never the less though, we are without a car for the foreseeable future which is a complete and utter nightmare. This is especially so when we are one car short already. I have spoken to the insurance companies involved, both mine and the Council, and it seems we are able to get a hire car at our expense and if all goes well, it will be reimbursed once this matter is concluded. I can’t say I’m happy about this at all! It sucks we have to shed a cent; really it does. I am also annoyed that the insurance company will only cover the base cost of hiring the vehicle and not the insurance options to reduce the excess – I can tell you now, I will be buggered if I am driving a hire car around with a $2000 excess – no sir re!

Anyway, I suppose, what is done is done – there isn’t much we can do about things now. I have to wonder though, whether this so called bus driver got her licence out of a weetbix box!

Monday, October 29, 2007

14 Months.

My budda baby (you’ll understand that connotation soon) is growing up fast. It has been a while since I updated on her progress.

1. First things first...she is as gorgeous as ever!

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

2. She now weighs around 10.8 kgs and is 80cms tall. She has well and truly recovered from her little bout of sickness a few weeks back – she has put the weight back on and then some! She is such a solid little thing now (and I mean solid). She has this big puffy round face and a large protruding belly which I just adore.

3. She hasn’t developed an ability to stand up on her own yet. Nor is she walking on her own although she does walk when stood up and prompted to do so. I think my little Lily is lazy – might refer to her as Lazy Lily! I have absolutely no idea where she gets that laziness from. She is just not interested in walking – she is happy to crawl around or cruise the furniture.

4. Lily now has a grand old total of 12 teeth. She has another 4 teeth coming through – the first of her ‘big’ teeth (not sure what happened to the last of her little teeth – they haven’t appeared – she’s skipped those and moved on to the molars).

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There are 2 on the top and 2 on the bottom and they are slowly but surely making their way down and are quite visible in her smile. They first appeared at least a month ago and have been causing some grief as they steadily make their way to the surface; the grief consisting of sleep issues and grumpiness.

5. Speaking of sleep issues and grumpiness – I think it deserves a paragraph of its own - Lily has had many moments. Leaving illness aside, there were a few weeks where she was intent on waking up between 3.00 – 4.00am every morning much to my displeasure. There were a few times I succumbed and gave her a bottle so she would go back to sleep, so that I could sleep. Thankfully, I stopped that habit quick smart before it developed into something untoward. As for the grumpiness, Lily can be a Little Miss ‘Diva’. If she doesn’t get what she wants, she will crack it – hop down on the floor and just lie there. Those tears are still evident every turn. She sure hasn’t lost the ability to turn on the waterworks when she wants to.

6. Enough of the yukky stuff. Lily is delightful in so many ways. I love how she waves good bye and says “bye” in the most audible fashion. She says “ta”, “ball”, “bird” (she just loves them so…), “no”, “mamma”- Grandma, “nanna” and “inner” - dinner. Whilst she has no where near the vocabulary that Byron had at the same age, she is getting there and for the most part, I have some understanding of where she is coming from. She is far more expressive with actions (and whiney/wingy language) then Byron ever was.

7. Lily gives the best cuddles and kisses. I love ‘our’ time together on her rocking chair every night. She sits facing me and just cuddles into my chest – Awwwhhhh it’s wonderful! *sigh* I hope it never ends!

I can not believe she is 14 months old all ready. Please, if you're reading Lily – slow down – you're growing up before my eyes and I want to make sure I don't miss a thing!

Byronism...

It’s been a while between ‘isms, so when Byron said something funny (...well it was to me) the other day I thought I better record it.

He was watching TV when he noticed a Sesame Street character was wearing a hat in the bath – for the record it was a shower cap. The conversation went like this…

Byron: “Why is he wearing a girl’s hat?”
Me: “It’s not a girl’s hat; it’s a shower cap”
Byron: “But he's in the bath! It's a bath cap…you can wear it in the bath too”

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Mother’s Guilt

So I’m feeling down; really down. There are a few things but the overwhelming concern for me is whether I’m doing the right thing by my kids working fulltime...???

I just feel terribly guilty about the way things are at the moment. The kids don’t appear to be suffering or at least that’s how it appears to me; but me? Well, I’m suffering a little bit at a time. It’s like every day of the last 8 months has chipped a little away from my mothering soul. I simply can’t shake the guilt of it anymore.

For the most part, I go to work and I plot along and that is what I have done for the past 8 months. There are some issues at work (with the team) which isn’t making for a very pleasant work environment which has got me thinking about what is important to me. I go to work because I have to earn money to keep us afloat. I don’t go to work to be sucked into the abyss of crap some people find the need to be involved in. I would much rather be home with my kids and that is it, plain and simple.

Would it be better for us to stay here [where we live now] and plot along? Probably not. We are claustrophobic. We are at each other’s throats. There are toys everywhere. There is no more room left. It’s definitely time – time to move. With the prices of houses etc, well, there is no other option but for me to work - and full time is it for now. Trevor just simply doesn’t earn enough for me not to work or even to work 3 days a week in the current building and house climate. Even if we stayed where we are I would have to work. It’s just a plain and simple case of having to live! I know we chose to build our house when others might argue we could have got away without it. We say that’s not the case because our family quite frankly needs it – we need a bigger place or our sanity will be next to go.

Anyway, I’m getting off track here because whether we chose to build a house or not is not the issue. I guess, for the most part, I feel sad that it’s a case of me having to work fulltime. I feel sad that I don’t have a choice not to work fulltime. I feel ripped off with my mothering experience and that’s just it. I feel like I don’t get the same joy and delight and experience as the ‘stay at home mother’ does. I feel like a bad mother. That may sound stupid. It may not be the case at all. Unfortunately though, it’s the way I feel.

I’m tired of seeing my kids at their worst times – when they are hungry for breakfast and ready for bed. I am tired of seeing angst over happiness. I’m tired of trying to fit everything in on a Saturday. I’m tired of feeling like I’m missing out. I especially feel like I have ripped Lily off. I was only working 3 days a week with Byron at the same age and with Lily it is 5 days.

I guess I just feel like I’m doing a terrible job. People tell me I’m doing a good job juggling both and whilst we are managing well, it doesn’t ease my guilt. While we’re on it! If someone tells me one more time that “unfortunately that is just the way it is today – everyone has to do it so just get on with it” I will loose it. I hate it when people say I’m being too sensitive and not to worry “the kids won’t remember” or “they know no different”. I try to tell my self that everyday just to make it better but I know different. I know how it should be and is meant to be. Why can’t it be for me?

I have been feeling like this for a good while and today it came to a head. I will get passed it, move on, but I will always carry mother’s guilt. I guess nothing will ease it or take it away except an option of working less and at the moment that is not on the agenda.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Where art thou sleeping baby?

Why oh why were my children still awake at 10.45pm when they were both asleep at 7.00pm???

My night so far...

7.30pm - Both children asleep.
8.00 pm - Lily wakes up. Cries. I cuddle her for a while, put her back down. She is fine.
8.15pm - Lily crying again. Hmmm. Pick her up, change dirty nappy (in the dark – mean feat), cuddle her and put her down again. She is fine.
8.30pm Lily crying again. Implement controlled crying. She dozes off to sleep or went quiet.
9.00pm – Me, searching for Heroes episode 3 on line. Lily crying again. Pick her up. She stops. Put her back down, she starts again. Pick her up, give her some Panadol, cuddle her and put her back down. She is quiet
9.15pm – Lily starts crying again. Trevor picks her up. She stops. He cuddles her for a good while and puts her back. She is quiet.
9.45pm – Lily starts crying again. Time for controlled crying. She stops – asleep?
10.00pm – Lily starts crying. Byron wakes up!!! I get Lily and decide to give her cuddles on my lap whilst I watch Heroes episode 3 on the computer. She thinks its playtime. Byron is wide awake.
10.20pm – Lily is still awake, as is Byron. Lily needs a nappy change AGAIN! I decide to give her some water. She really thinks its playtime and is all smiles. I decide enough is enough (when am I meant to go to sleep?).
10.40pm – Lily goes down...crying; more crying; more crying . Hmmm. Stops crying. Starts crying. Stops crying. I go check on her and she stops. The little bugger is playing me. Byron meanwhile says “Lily is waking me up” (poor mite).
10.45pm – Lily still crying! Byron is talking to himself in bed. I decide more control crying.
11.00pm – It worked - Silence (but for how long??!)

Byron was a dream child – he slept beautifully. Miss Lily. Hmmm. She is a little different; more difficult. Definitely not as easy as he was. She has just developed these habits. Maybe it’s teeth? I don’t know?! All I want to know is...where art thou sleeping baby?

Arrrhhhh...Silence is Golden! *sigh*

On that note, Goodnight!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

One step closer...

Last night we attended our first ever body corporate meeting at our soon to be new place of residence. I don’t know if I mentioned it previously but our land is one of 15 lots within a ‘gated community’ (sounds so cult like huh?). Accordingly, we have a body corporate and quarterly fees (which are only small, something like $150 a quarter). We also have a committee which Trevor has volunteered for (it’s ‘bout time he showed some initiative in relation to this project – although ‘initiative’ might be the wrong word; thinking more along the lines of persuasion). We have remote entry to the complex – to keep all the baddies out! We received 2 little clickers yesterday which provided some excitement – it’s not like we have a slab yet so anything *new* related to the house provides us with some form of amusement.

Back to the meeting - boy was it an eye opening experience. By the sounds of it there may have been some previous animosity in relation to the issue of water – hopefully that gets sorted out quick smart. I was actually surprised by the type of residents who have purchased land. There are quite a few older couples – I guess I was hoping there might have been some young families (but...with the price of houses these days is it any wonder). One lovely old man, who happens to be a landscaper *wink*wink* took us on a tour of his back yard...I was trying to pick up some pointers. There is one young couple who are getting married next year and they seem lovely. They have bought the block of land next door to us. I have actually had some email communications with them previously and I can certainly see us sharing a few drinks over the coming years.

The quest for completion of the new house (or at least a slab) is well and truly on the way. I had a meeting with our builder this morning, bright and early at 7.30am. He was an interesting chap – much older then I thought he would be (or maybe that was me dreaming about hunky builders *sigh*). He seems experienced enough and was recommended by some friends so it was a lucky break to end up with him as the builder.

As expected, one does not come out of these exercises saving money – Oh no! It seems there is more money yet to spend and most of it's to do with electrical work. We also upgraded the termite protection. I’m still thinking about whether we need to upgrade the water tank. Anyway, I think today added $3,000.00 plus to the bill and we haven’t yet started building – I’m sure there will be other surprises along the way. People weren’t wrong when they said it never works out to be what you thought it would. Even so, we will be well and truly ahead (with equity) when it is all complete. We are getting so much more for our dollar then what we would have gotten having bought outright albeit with some pain and suffering along the way.

As for the slab, the infamous slab, the builder expects it to be laid within the next 3-4 weeks (they have excavating, drainage and stuff to do before then). That will be one step closer to the achievement of our dream. He wouldn’t commit on a completion month other then to say we would be in next year (Umm H-E-L-L-O! Next year is 12 months!). Once he gets started things should keep moving. I hope to have bricks and a roof by Christmas. I hope to be in by the end of March, early April.