Celebrating

It seems little Miss Lily is celebrating in style (her 3 month old birthday that is).

There are plenty of drinks 'on tap' and no sleep. She doesn't want to miss a thing .

Normally she is dead to world by now...but nope, there is too much going on. Well not really; just a bit of TV action, some EB and well that's it.

Lily my darling...lets call it a night!

3 months tomorrow!

Oh my; Lily is 3 months tomorrow!

Oh where does the time go???

She gave me a present last night three months in the making - a decent sleep. She rose at 6.00am after going to bed at 7.00pm. She sure knows how to make her mummy proud .

Til tomorrow...

Santa, all I want for Christmas is...

Santa, all I want for Christmas is...

Chocolate Balls

Yes, you read right - chocolate balls...that’s all Byron wants for Christmas and he made sure Santa knew it! No bikes, cars, dinosaurs or toys in general. He just wants Chocolate. If truth be told, this doesn’t surprise me at all. I might have mentioned previously that Byron is not really a ‘toy’ kid. Sure he plays with them (and he has many), but there is nothing he is truly taken by. He likes playing in the sandpit, reading books and playing with money (his money box full of change - he empties it out, puts the money everywhere and then puts it back…well not always). Many of the little boys I know love matchbox cars; Byron couldn’t care less if he didn’t have any (he has about 20 of them which never get touched). He is a kid that likes simple things.

You would think I learnt my lesson last year at Christmas when I got him lots of different toys that I thought he would love and guess what - he didn’t really care! Admittedly he was only 2 and a bit and in reality probably didn’t understand, but I didn’t care - I cried when he really showed no interest in what he got...I was so upset (although I was only just pregnant and didn’t know it so I am putting that down to hormones).

Given my previous years experience with Christmas, you would think I would have learnt, but not so. I’m afraid to say that I have still bought him lots of presents that admittedly I probably got more enjoyment out of purchasing and wrapping then he will get out of opening and playing with. That’s Christmas I guess. I could always take everything back and buy chocolate - that would be a sure fire hit and much cheaper.

We had a Santa shot taken today, Lily’s first!

Finally...

Byron has hopped on his bike for more then 1 minute and consequently learnt to peddle without getting frustrated (although the frustration did eventuate in probably about 4 minutes). I’ll admit I was somewhat concerned with his lack of enthusiasm for the bike. He just wasn’t interested (and really still isn’t all that fussed) on the bike. We have tried many tack ticks to get him on there, but nothing really works. He is just more interested in the sand pit and other stuff (sometimes I can't work out what). He gets very frustrated with the whole pedal thing and as a result just hops off. Today was a turning point...he peddled on his own!!!

Lily might be getting into some sort of routine; albeit night time only (but that’s a start!). She has slept quite well the last few nights, especially last night when she slept from 6.45pm until 5.45am. I know I have said it before, but man I hope she does that again tonight!!!

The time has arrived and we have put up our Christmas tree - I know it’s early i.e. not the 1st of December but I don’t care!!!

Now all it needs are some presents!!!

12 weeks old...

My little chubba guts is 12 weeks old today...

The smiles keep on coming (although not always on demand) as does the goohing and garring. I can’t say enough how much I am in love with her language; the way she chats to the little bears on her mobile makes my heart melt. Not to mention the little birdie on her play gym for which she seems to have developed a close bond to. The way she puckers her little lips when talking and moves her little fists about - I am in love with it - could watch and listen to it all day long.

So:

She has just found her fists the last couple of days. She loves to suck on them. I'll be driving when I suddenly hear loud ‘slurps’ synonymous with the fists in mouth.

She had her first shower last night with daddy and she loved it. She loves to have baths with Mummy - but probably not as much as I love to have them with her. I love the closeness it brings.

She is sleeping much better at night, although not always through the night. She keeps teasing me…giving me the taste of a good long (well long in baby world) sleep and taking it back (Indian giver!). The longest she has slept is from 7.30pm until 5.45am - so far she hasn’t delivered on that again. I can only dream!

She is feeding better although we are not in any routine at all. Sometimes she feeds 2 hourly, 3 hourly, 4 hourly and so on (you get the picture?).

Byron loves her head. I would have to say it is his favourite part of her body. He loves to touch it, kiss it, bang it, pat it, hug it - you name it, he's done it. No matter how many times we try to tell him not to, he always finds a way to do it. He refers to her as 'Lil' which is rather cute.

We have such a busy life at the moment, what with the Gym, mother’s group, baby massage and shopping; it's no wonder time is just flying by .

I can’t imagine what changes will happen over the next 12 weeks. To be honest I am happy for her to stay 12 weeks for a little while longer.

I don’t want her to keep growing up this fast!

Before leaving I must say a big congratulations to my dear BDer friend Ness who gave birth to beautiful Harrison James today exactly 11 weeks, 6 days, 23 hours and 55 minutes after I did. Good work babe.

Addicted

addicted:
1. Dependent on it (especially a drug).
2. Unable to give it up, eg a habit.

It's official I am habituated, given to, disposed to, hooked on, accustomed, inclined, obsessed with, in the habit of, under the influence of, attached to...

Chocolate

Yes Chocolate is the drug of my choice and its driving me nuts.

I will say it out loud…My name is Nicole and I am a chocoholic! (this is supported by the fact that as I write this, I am ingesting Chiccos and many of them )

However, some would beg to differ with me in this regard. According to Trevor, chocolate doesn’t contain any addictive properties so you can’t be ‘addicted’. Therefore, in his eyes my situation purely arises due to some ‘mental’ aspect; I can and should stop!

Therefore, according to Trevor’s theory it is my mental aptitude to eat more junk that is causing me to sway past the chocolate aisle in Kmart, just to pick up my freckles; or to drop into Wendys just to get my mega choc shake; or to pick up that chocolate bar up at the supermarket to get my much needed hit.

OK I probably agree with Trevor...maybe I'm addicted to the habit of eating it; not the chocolate it self. Can 'habits' be addictive?

Whilst I enjoy chocolate and occasionally lollies I really don’t want to be eating them all day every day as its really impacting upon the waist line ? A LOT! The thing is, I just don’t know what to do...I need a wake up call (you would think my waistline would be enough).

At least I have realised I have a problem...now I just have to overcome my ‘desire’ and break the habit (easier said then done I would say).

Stay tuned to see how I go. I’m off to the gym to work off those, now obsolete Chicos.

Edited to Add: I worked off half the chiccos at the gym before Lily decided to crack it in the childcare and wouldn’t stop crying, which according to them ‘was so unlike her’ (I think she might have been hungry ). Grrr to only getting to do half of my step class!

Oh and for the record...after having seen myself in the mirror whilst doing the class, I have decided that I really need to curb my naughty habit. Today is the beginning (shhh lets forget about the chiccos)

Further addition...OMG I just stepped on the scales and I weigh 73kgs WTF am I doing to myself??? That is the wake-up call I need...no more junk (well only a little bit).

Getaway slideshow...

We arrived home today from our mini holiday/getaway (I say mini because lets face it, 2 nights isn’t exactly a holiday - a getaway yes, but not really a holiday) at the Gold Coast.

Although short, it was still fun. This was Byron’s first holiday as a little boy (opps getaway ) which is really quite sad on our part. The last time he went to a hotel with a pool was when he was about 9 months (we 'neglected' to take him to Fiji). Needless to say, he absolutely adored it. He particularly liked the sand at the beach and the pool.

We went to Seaworld on Sunday to kill some time before we could check in to the hotel. I am pleased to say we didn’t have any of the ‘shark’ dramas that we faced on our first visit. He was happy to look at the sharks, although still cautious.

I also took him on his first big boy ride which was so much fun. For the life of me, I can’t remember what it was called…It was one of those boat rides that took you through a tour of a volcano complete with fire, which featured scary aliens, loud noises and funny smells. He was such a brave little chap, gripping my hand for dear life...wide eyed in utter amazement (while the 11 year old behind us screamed and snuggled in soooo tight to his mum - scared sh*tless).


The next day we ventured to the beach. Before we headed off on our little excursion Byron mentioned *and continued to mention* how excited he was to build sandcastles with his bucket and spade (mental note...remember to ALWAYS bring buckets and spades for little people when going to the beach…lucky for us the souvenir shops were selling them at dirt cheap prices - thank god!). We did remember to bring his 'surfboard' (ie...kick board)so that counts for something!

The beach was a hit...as was the pool. Byron is absolutely not afraid of water - he could have been a fish in a past life. Oh my; he is not afraid. He just took it upon himself to just jump in much to the dismay of Trevor and I. See we ordinarily wouldn’t have a problem with him jumping in except for the fact HE CANNOT SWIM!!!! We are working on the not being able to swim issue with good old fashioned swimming lessons. In the meantime though, we have to keep the keenest of eyes on him when ever he is around a pool.

Lily on the other hand...well that’s a whole other story. She wasn’t to keen on the beach which is understandable (the water is somewhat cool) and absolutely hated the pool, for which she screamed for 10 mins afterwards. On the other hand...she absolutely loved her laundry tub experience (grrr to there being no bath in the room - definite draw back).

And that concludes my slideshow for this evening.

Chubba guts!

I was having a bath with Lily last night - something I love to do - when I noticed that she really is my ‘chubba guts’. I know I have said she is a ‘chubba guts’ before but I didn’t realise just how chubby she was! She has baby boobs, thunder thighs, rolls and a big tummy to boot and I love it!!!

I love that she is so cuddly!

I love that she has cheeks that you could just eat!

I love the dimples in her calves!

I love it all!

I took her to the health clinic yesterday to get weighed. She weighs a good healthy 5850grams; is 59cms and now has a head circumference of 41.7cms. She is definitely doing well in the growing department (well she does love to eat ). Lately, when people ask how old she is and I tell them, they say to me ‘gee she is quite big’. As a result, I started to worry a little that maybe she was too big or that I was feeding her too much, but was quickly reassured by the child health nurse that she is most definitely not large, just healthy…which is perfect!

I compared her statistics with Byron. At exactly the same age (10 weeks 2 days), Byron weighed 6kgs and was 64cms long. He seemed so much leaner then Lily but I guess that goes without saying when you have an extra 5cms to spread the weight over.

At the moment she is still wearing 000s and I suspect she will do so for at least another month ? well that is what I am hoping ; we have to at least wear every outfit twice!!!!

For the record, over the last few days she has started to smile and coo a lot more then she has been doing. If you try hard enough, and she is not too tired, she will crack a smile for you - but sometimes you have to be quick or you’ll miss it!

U2

***I would have written this last night but seeing as how it took 1 and half hours to get home as opposed to the normal 10 minute trip I heartily decided against it...I needed to get some much needed and deserved rest***

Picture this...

Stage. Bono. Two metres...

Me - I could see the sweat beads on Bono's head

One word...

Absolutely Fantastic!!! - OK two words

Feet...

Painful, sore, throbbing, tender…I don’t think I have ever had such sore soles of my feet (from standing) then ever before.

The Life of Lily...

Sleep
Play
Eat

Attempt to play

Sleep
Eat
Sleep

Lie in swing

Sleep
Eat
Sleep

Eat
Sleep
Sleep

Lie in Swing

Sleep

Have a bath

Eat
Sleep, Sleep, Sleep

It is not hard to see there is a running theme happening here; sleep! Lily likes to sleep a lot ? a whole lot. She loves her sleep, which I can’t complain about. On the contrary, this is something I am excited about.

My excitement was compounded further when she slept for a whole 8 hours in a row on Friday night and then again last night (roughly 8pm until 4am). How exciting (to be getting 6 hours - because lets face it I don’t go to bed at 8pm - in a row is exhilarating, especially when it has been a good few months since it was experienced last).

The only drawback to her sleeping a whole lot is that she doesn’t have much time to play. She seems to be lacking in the smiling and cooing department. By that I mean she doesn’t seem to smile and goo much considering she is 10 weeks tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, she does smile and make some noises. Most of these are in the morning though, when she has just woken up from sleep (in between more food and sleep) and she is staring up at her cot mobile. Otherwise it is scant over the course of the day; and to get those smiles I have to work hard!

It seems my little Lily is going to be somewhat (and I mean somewhat) quieter then her brother, who I might add hardly slept during the day and was constantly playing, smiling and off course hardly shut up (and still doesn’t). If she was my first, I probably wouldn’t notice as much. I guess it’s because Byron set a precedent and an abnormal one at that, because from what I here little babies are meant to sleep; and sleep a lot.

I better head off now and get my 6 hours beauty sleep (this is of course based on the premise that Lily will sleep for 8 hours again? heres hoping!).

First Report Card

Didn’t think I would be seeing one of these anytime soon (well not for another 3 years at least) - Byron’s end of year report card! When Trevor informed me that Byron had a report card my first thought was "Oh my...I hope it’s good!"

I asked Trevor how he did. His response was, "ok…he got usually for most things". Was that good I wondered? It didn’t sound good. What happened to always and excellent and outstanding. Then I remembered...hang on we are talking about 2 and three year olds; always just doesn’t happen!

As it turns out his report card was graded as follows:

U = usually
S = sometimes
H = with help
S/H = seems to loose interest quite quickly (made up especially for Byron’s report card )

Ok, so this is how he went:

• I really enjoy:
• Dramatic play U
• Blocks U
• Puzzles S/H
• Sandpit U
• Climbing U
• Games U
• Books/stories U (to be read to)
• Collage S/H
• Painting S/H
• Drawing S/H
• Music U

I follow our rules U/H
I look after my belongings U
I listen when others speak S
I am happy at kindy U
I can share an idea with someone else U (very much so...! ) - That’s what it says.
I say please, thankyou and excuse me U
I am proud of my work U

I help:
• At tidy up time U
• My teacher S/H
• A friend S/H

I have made some friends U
I try hard to share things H
My concentration is improving H

Overall I would have to say his first report card isn’t too bad. Sure he needs to improve, especially on the concentration and listening front (which at the moment seems to be a bit wayward ) but I am happy to know he has most of the basics (i.e. manners, pride, friendship) under wrap.

Now there is next years to look forward to!

Do it!

I know I said don’t do it...but now I think I have changed my mind!

The carpet is laid (stairs were finished today) and it looks and smells wonderful. So far I have unpacked most of the boxes etc but there are still a few more to go (my target is for Wednesday - fingers crossed)! It feels great to have a nice clean, de cluttered house! I just hope it stays that way.

For the record, I have this incessant cough at the moment...you know the one that just lingers and won’t go away. It is driving me absolutely nuts. I just can’t stop coughing and its getting to the point where it hurts (I think that means it is time to see a doctor). Poor Byron; I was reading his bedtime story tonight and I think it took 4 times longer to finish it. I am surprised the poor thing could understand the story with the constant pausing for breath while I coughed.

That’s it for me...nothing much else to report.

Don’t do it...

Don’t do it...that is, don’t carpet your house when it’s fully furnished!!!

Oh my god, am I exhausted and there is still so much to do. I feel like I have moved house – yet I am still here (ie. no new house to be found). My family room is full of boxes and crap waiting to be unpacked. My kitchen looks like a bomb hit it and my laundry is even worse! At least I can say the bedrooms look good (mind you everything that goes into them – except furniture is downstairs in boxes waiting to be unpacked).

This wasn’t exactly my idea of spring cleaning – packing everything (and I mean everything) up out of the carpeted rooms (which are all rooms but the laundry, family room, kitchen and bathrooms) and moving it outside. Unfortunately though, it really had to be done, so I guess there is no time like the present – I just wish the present was the past and the future was here so that all my boxes were unpacked and put back!

I do love my new carpet though – I love the smell and the feel of it under my feet...just lovely! Now I have to protect it from the kids. As Byron would say "there is no juice, no water, no ice, no milk and no bikkies on the new carpet!" For the last two weeks I have been drumming into his head an endless list of ‘don’ts’ for the carpet. Hopefully he has got the message. Time will tell (Note: I have the special carpet cleaner at the ready).

Not only was it carpet laying day, it was Byron’s first ‘real’ swimming lesson. He had swimming lessons up until he was about 18 months old but they were fun lessons not real learn to swim lessons. He really enjoyed himself; especially since he was the only kid that showed up today (normally 4 to a class). He had his own private tuition. Due to packing etc I regrettably didn’t get to take any photos. I will be sure to have the camera at the ready for the next Saturday morning lesson.

Unfortunately, Byron wasn’t able to have a daytime nap today which so far has proved disastrous (which I had expected). He was so worn out from swimming, moving, people and the heat that today was a day that most certainly warranted a day sleep but nope...no where for the poor darling to sleep. You might have remembered those night terrors Byron suffered a few weeks back; the main cause being over tiredness. Well, I expect them tonight and so far he is delivering – he has been crying, thrashing about and very restless. He is now asleep on my bed – I had to do something; his crying and carrying on was waking Lily so I had the both of them going at once (and of course Trevor is not here!).

Oh what a day...

Before I go, I have to wish my beautiful Lily a...

Happy 2 months!

We have hit the time when things are supposed to get better; and better they are getting. She is feeding much better, although there are days when she is still a lazy so and so. She is sleeping more at night. On average, she sleeps for a good 6 hours straight (say 9pm to 3am) which is excellent. She is growing so beautifully and is even starting to share the odd smile (finally)...

Home safe and sound...

Before I say anything at all, I just have to say what a wonderful, contented, happy baby I have – the best baby in the world I say this based on the fact that she didn’t make a peep (yes, not a peep) during the 13 hour journey down and the 12 hour journey back (see I’m not biased). She was wonderful. Byron on the other hand is a whole other story...

We are home from the road trip to Sydney; safe and sound and all in one piece – although maybe not in one piece as I suspect I may have lost a little bit of my hearing. We actually arrived home on Sunday but as you can imagine, the last thing I wanted to do was get on the computer (oh and I only got my computer back on Tuesday and was only allowed restricted use with Trevor making me go to bed early – pfft to him I say!!!).

Byron was pretty good on the way down...he slept for the first hour or two and that was it. He was pretty much awake for the rest of the trip. He talked a lot, looked out the window, ate (if he could, he would have eaten all day long), played with this leap pad and also with his playskool video now (mini tv) toy. At one point, 2 hours into the tip, he pipped up with “are we there yet?”. Needless to say, I didn’t have the heart to say “no darling, we still have 10 hours to go!”.

The trip back was somewhat of a nightmare. Poor Byron had a very croaky voice from talking way to much and I suspect he also had a viral infection. He had a horrible runny nose and bags under his eyes. He was just out of sorts, which wouldn’t have made for a good car trip in any event – let alone a 12 hour one. In between crying and winging, all he wanted to do was eat (it was lucky I had supplies). Next, all he needed to do was go to the toilet. However, every time we pulled over to the side of the road he suffered ‘stage fright’ and just couldn’t go. At one point, we pulled over to a rest stop...you know the ones with the eco toilets. Byron couldn’t use the toilet due to a fear “that he would fall in”. All I have to say, is lucky for the servos and ‘real toilets' – he didn’t seem to have a problem with them thank god!

Ok...he’s 3 – barely 3 for that matter. It is hard for 3 year olds to focus and sit still for any length of time. In the circumstances, taking age into consideration, Byron really wasn’t that bad. Hey, we made it home didn’t we??? Not sure though, we will be rushing to go on any road trips soon.

Stay tuned for the wedding details...

8 weeks and needles

Eight weeks yesterday...that’s how old my baby is...8 weeks! I know I have said it before, but I’m going to say it again – I don’t know where the time has gone. I went to visit a friend yesterday who just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Looking at this tiny baby it was hard to believe that Lily was that small. But she was...smaller in fact; thank god for photos or you would just simply forget.

Today I took Lily off for her 8 week check up and needles. I wasn’t looking forward to the whole needle ordeal. From memory, Byron wasn’t really affected by the jabs in the leg. He grizzled for about 10 seconds and was as happy as larry after that. I knew Lily would be different, and that she was (maybe cause she is a 'princess').

She was a little fussy during the weigh in and measure up, because as usual, despite only being fed a few hours earlier, she was hungry again. So, by the time the nurse was ready to give those needles she really wasn’t happy at all. It goes without saying, that my little princess screamed blue murder when they popped those 3 needles into her legs (one in one leg; 2 in the other). Her little shriek was accompanied by a tomato red face and to make it worse; real tears. Yes, real tears – enough to break anyone’s heart – especially mine. To ease my mind, I just kept thinking of how important her needles were and that she wouldn’t remember this day. Heck, all it took was a little booby (and probably the Panadol) and she was fine; although she did gulp that little sigh for a few minutes whilst feeding – trying to calm her self down I suspect.

During the course of the rest of the day, she was out of sorts and a little upset which is to be expected.

Now for the statistics...little Lily (who is getting on the larger side) now weighs 5300grams (that’s a gain of approximately 2kgs since birth); is 58.5cms long (gain of 8.5cms) and has a head circumference of 40cms.

For comparative purposes, I looked up Byron’s little book...at 8 weeks, he was 5400grams, 61cms and with a head circumference of 40cms. Considering Lily weighed less then Byron when born, it is fair to say she is doing ok in the weight department. She is my chubba guts, and she is sure living up to the name!

Wish me luck...

Wish me luck...we are going on a ‘road trip’ with the kids to Sydney. What you say? “Are we mad?”...you could say that. To be honest Trevor and I are cringing at the moment over the thought of travelling 12 hours in the car with a 3 year old and new baby.

The trip is just a fleeting visit for my brother’s wedding on Saturday, so you could say that it is an obligatory visit rather then a holiday. Obligatory visit or holiday, the trip has to be made and we have taken the very brave (note the emphasis) option of driving (well it really wasn’t an option - when you factor in 3 return airfares plus car hire ($$$$) for a three day visit, driving seemed like the only option).

So here we are waiting to go (only 7 hours to go...yippee) – wish me luck!!!

First smiles...

I would like to say its official but I’m just not sure...

I think (well I know...maybe I don't) I saw a smile (not the jerky wind smile which had been so prevalent to date) last Tuesday (10 October 2006). Mum said (and she was adamant) she got 2 smiles not long after, on that same day.

I read that babies almost always smile by accident the first time they do it, while exercising their facial muscles or passing wind. I know it wasn’t a wind smile (I have seen many of those so far), so I guess that leaves an accident. Yes, I think that is what I saw...an accident.

The reason I say accident, is because over the last week or so, I have been putting on my best smiles, starry eyes, gar gars, ooohs, ahhhs and singing voice in the hope of getting more smiles. So far, my success has been very limited to the odd smirk; slight but noticeable, but not that beaming smile I saw last Tuesday (maybe she doesn’t like my singing!).

Apparently the reaction they get from you – to the accident - (ie, enormous smiles, whoops of joy, big eyes, lots of talk) is so exciting they try a smile again pretty soon. Hmmm how soon? I am trying but I guess I must not be exciting enough.

With each tiny smirk (I think I am trying to see a smirk that might lead to a smile), my hunger grows for more. I want more!!! I want to see those big blue eyes sparkle with happiness; those little chubby cheeks move ever so slightly. I just want to see a big cheesy grin. I am desperate for more.

Lily is 7 weeks and 2 days. Byron was well and truly smiling away at this age, having cracked his first smile at 4 weeks. I won’t lie; the seed of doubt is planting in my mind (the one that all parents get when their child doesn’t quite fit within the ‘normal’ development guidelines) that she might never get there. I know this is crap and that she will get there; for now though I am eagerly waiting to officially say...she has smiled.

Night Terrors

Oh my...what a night! Between Byron and Lily it is fair to say that Trevor and I didn’t get much sleep. Naturally, when there is a new baby in the house one expects to be sleep deprived, and that we were. However, Lily wasn’t the cause of the sleep deprivation; Byron was.

A bit of background might be helpful. Byron spent the day with Nanna and Grandad Bruce. They took him to a park, then on a steam train ride, then to the park again (note: it was 30C and hot). It goes without saying that when he returned home late afternoon he was tired – over tired. It was too late for a nap (and he didn’t want one in the car) so it was a nice early bath, some dinner, a story and then to bed at around 6.30pm.

Trevor and I thought – sweet; he would be off in dream land in no time – out like a light. How wrong were we? Completely!

It took him a little while to get to sleep, but that is nothing out of the ordinary for Byron who generally likes to chat and read for a while. Finally he fell asleep but to our dismay woke up crying and carrying on 2 hours later and then, every hour after that until just after 2am (resulting in Trevor sleeping next to Byron's bed - on the floor).

It is fair to say that when he woke up (well we thought he was awake), he was somewhat disturbed. He was thrashing around in bed, talking, crying and just generally appeared distressed. I tried to comfort him but got absolutely no where, so Trevor tried. He didn’t get to far trying to console him either (in fact, I think it was him who needed consoling afterwards; his anger was ripe). Naturally, we were both getting agitated ourselves; especially at Byron who we thought was just being ‘difficult’. Whilst I thought he may have been ‘asleep’ at some point, the more he carried on the more I thought, no way he must be awake particularly given the way he was carrying on.

Last night was not an isolated event. He was somewhat difficult on Saturday night – although no where near as bad as last night.

In the midst of my tiredness and confusion today I rang the child health centre just to make sure that I didn’t need to take him to the doctor (which my mother suggested I do – the doctor that is). I was advised that he was most likely suffering from night terrors! Apparently, (according to Dr Google) a night terror is a sleep disturbance that can be very upsetting to parents (oh you think!). When children have night terrors, they usually scream or cry out and appear to be frightened, as if they're reacting to a nightmare. They may sit up in bed, thrash their arms and legs, and seem terrified (hmmm this was Byron). When parents try to calm their children during night terrors, they often find that their children do not seem to recognise them and do not respond to them (tick). This is because children having night terrors are still asleep. Their eyes may be wide open, but in fact they are asleep.

Dr Google - What Parents Can Do?

*Go to your children. When parents hear their children cry out, they should go to them as quickly as possible. Parents can try to comfort their children by holding them close or by rubbing their backs. Children may not even know their parents are there, and parents may not be able to comfort their children, but parents will be able to keep their children from hurting themselves (how scary). Parents should follow their children's leads. They should comfort their children if they seem to want it, and should let their children be if they don't seem to want comforting.

*Stay with your children. It's important that parents stay nearby until their children resume quiet sleep. Some children get up and walk around during a night terror. If this happens, children can easily get hurt.

*Make sure your children get enough sleep. Night terrors happen more often when children are very tired (seems to be the major factor for Byron).

*Don't try to wake your children. As long as children are not hurting themselves, there is no need for parents to wake them. Parents' attempts to wake their children may prolong the night terror (oops...we tried waking him constantly).

*Turn on a light. This will help calm parents down and will be comforting to children should they wake up (must remember this one).

*Remain calm. It's important that parents try to remain calm because their anxiety may frighten their children if they do wake up (HUH - who thought of this rule? Rather difficult at 2am).

In a bid to avoid a repeat of the last few nights, I:

1) made sure Byron had a day sleep and wasn’t to overtired;
2) got him ready for bed by 7pm; and
3) gave him a lovely massage with some essential oils at bed time.

So far so good...he hasn’t woken up yet.

Edited to add: we managed to avoid any repeats and he slept through – still muttering in his sleep every now and then…but no night terrors. Thank God!!!

Oh my back!

The Chiropractor put it like this..."sometimes I see 60 year olds with the 'straight spines' of 20 year olds and sometimes I see 20 year olds with the spines of a 60 year old". Me...well I fit more into the latter rather then the former.

When he showed me the results of my x-rays, I nearly died. I couldn’t believe that it was my spine (the curvy one) I was looking at. The pelvis yes (which oddly looked warped even to me) given my history, but not the spine – how could that be?? Apparently, I look to have injured my back about 5 years ago (by the looks of the degeneration). I of course have absolutely no idea how that might have happened.

He also commented that it was inevitable that I would develop SPD.

As it stands, I have phase one subluxation degeneration of the neck and mid back area which essentially means I have a misalignment and malfunction of the soft tissue damage and nerve irritation. The prognosis is that it can return to near normal with appropriate chiropractic care. It’s the lower back that is the real problem. Apparently, I have phase two subluxation degeneration of the lower back. Basically, the physiology of phase two is disc narrowing, calcium deposition, bone spurs, and nerve irritation (huh??). With appropriate chiropractic care I can expect a slowing or stopping of the degeneration. With out treatment it is an odds on beat that I will get osteoarthritis (in the spine).

Now that ‘we’ know what is wrong with my back we can work on treating it. My chiropractor is hopeful that with treatment (at least 2 sessions a week over the coming weeks) I will see vast improvements. Whilst I am not in a great deal of pain at the moment – there are times when I do have back aches which are more prominent now then they were – it is important to treat it to ensure the degeneration doesn’t progress.

Today was my second session. Whilst I didn’t notice any improvements from the first session, he did (ie. reflexes etc). It will be a slow process but we will get there (so he thinks).

I have just joined the gym and will probably start going in a few weeks time. My focus now that I have had Lily is to my fitness and wellbeing. I got quite sick in the winter following Byron’s birth and I don’t want any repeats this time around. So off to the gym I go, plus the chiropractor as well. I guess that only leaves the healthy eating (hmmm I think that will be the hardest obstacle of all!).

The results are in...

Well the results are in and it’s all good news...

Lily doesn’t have reflux, which would be the main cause for urinary tract infections. She still has dilation on the left side which is continuing to improve. In the circumstances the doctor advised that he didn’t think it was necessary for her to continue with the antibiotics. I was a little bit sceptical (you would think I was the doctor) because I really don’t want her to suffer with any infections, but he did reassure me that it would be fine. In another breath though; he commented that, should she get any sudden fevers she should have her urine tested as soon as possible.

She does require a further ultrasound in three months time which is accompanied by a follow up appointment. If all goes well, her dilation should have reduced further. In the meantime, I am crossing my fingers that she will not suffer from any infections.


****************************************************

Today was the first day I met my new mother’s group at the Child Health Clinic. There is a lot more mothers this time then there was in my group with Byron (whom I still happily catch up with when I can). There is also a lot more little girls (there was just one girl in my previous mothers group).

I am grateful that I get to be a part of this group as ordinarily they only allow first time mums to participate (I am the only mother with 2 kids). For me, I consider it invaluable to have the opportunity to communicate and share your experiences with other mums. Lets face it...when you have a baby (or children, as is my case) you really want to talk about them (constantly), much to the dismay of your childless friends. Just because I am not a first time mum doesn’t mean I know it all. In fact, I think I have felt a little bit more out of my comfort zone with Lily then I did with Byron. Merely, I think, due to the fact that she has had some health and feeding issues, which I didn’t have with Byron (oh and she is a girl!).

I guess time will tell as to whether we all continue to meet after the course is finished at the clinic, and whether we develop lasting friendships. I sure hope so...

Lily's MCU...

Oh my, the ‘visits’ continue...

Today Lily had her MCU (Micturating Cysto Uretherogram) to see what, if any, further treatment is required for her kidney dilation.

The MCU test was carried out in the Medical Imaging Department at The Children’s Hospital. In this examination, a series of X-Ray films were taken of Lily’s bladder and kidneys.

The test was performed in a room with a high metal table and a large camera above it. The camera was linked to a television screen where an X-Ray image of the bladder, kidneys and ureter were observed.

Poor little Lily was undressed and placed in this tiny little hospital gown (with the opening at the back). They laid her on the BIG table, cleaned her ‘little bits’ with an antiseptic solution and then inserted a catheter into her bladder. The catheter was connected to the bag of contrast liquid (ie dye – although it looked like water).

Apparently (because lets face it I had no idea) as her little bladder filled, the contrast liquid made the bladder look like a black balloon. This was watched on the TV screen and a series of X-Ray films were taken in different positions. Once the bladder was full, X-Ray images of the kidneys and bladder were taken. Pictures were also taken as it emptied (ie they waited for her to wee for which she was some what obliging - they were hoping for a little bit more although they did get enough to see what they needed).

Lily cried pretty much the whole time. I suspect though, that this had more to do with being hungry and naked then the actual examination itself (that is what I would like to think).

Now we just wait for the results tomorrow...

I had my 6 week check up today. Grrrr much to my surprise I was required to have a pap smear – no fair I say! I only had one in November last year but it seems it is the done thing these days (didn’t happen with Byron) that all women be given a pap smear at their 6 week check up. The good thing is there will be no more poking and prodding for at least another 2 years. For that I am happy. Anyway, all is well on the after birth front.

I guess now the whole pregnancy and birth thing is a distant memory, which is kind of sad (strange as it may seem). Now for the next chapter – getting fit or at least losing 6kgs because lets face it; the whole “I just had a baby” excuse will soon be wearing thin!

Computer Withdrawals & Chiropractor Visits

My poor computer - oh how I missed you so!

Thanks to a virus my computer (in particular the internet) was out of action for a good 4 days. I will be honest; I was completely lost with out it. I didn’t know what to do with myself when I had that 5 minutes spare here and there (hmmm there was the washing, maybe the ironing and the dusting, vacuuming – the list goes on). It was like my connection with the outside world was gone. I couldn’t pay my bills, check my emails and worst of all...talk to my cyber friends. My ‘right hand man’ was gone.

Does this make me a sad and sorry case? About 5 years ago I would have sad yes, but today I would say no. I reckon at least 1 in 3 people would have withdrawals if they couldn’t get near their computer (mainly the internet for a few days) – go on...ask around; bet you couldn’t handle it!!!

It made me realise just how much the world has changed in the last few years. Its amazing what we come to rely on in our lives – internet, mobile phones, cars, pay TV (that would be Trevor’s top of the list not mine). I wonder what it will be like in 5 years time???

Now that my dear old trusty computer is fixed (although there are still a few kinks), I can move on...

Monday (yesterday) marked Lily’s 6 week birthday. I can’t believe she is 6 weeks already. For the record, she:

• Now weighs 4660grams
• Is 56cms long
• Has a head circumference of 39cms
• Is on the verge of cracking a smile (although I really thought she cracked one for me today but I couldn’t be sure...then mum (nanna) decided she got 2 smiles in a row – still not convinced they were proper smiles - However, I don’t think they are far away).

Lily had another appointment with her chiropractor today and I had my first visit. He presented ‘his findings’ following his examination of Lily from last week. It seems that Lily’s ligaments, which hold the sacroiliac joint (around the pelvis), are stretched or sprained, allowing the joint surfaces to separate. This disturbs the body’s balance, nervous system and her spine right up to her shoulders and neck and also her cranial system. This can result in (just to name a few):

• Jaw problems
• Neck pain
• Fatigue

Now that he knows what the problems are he can ‘fix’ them using some palpitation and manipulation as well as his little metal spring-loaded activator instrument to perform the adjustment (which he wears on his belt like a carpenter would wear a hammer!).

He noticed there had been some improvements in her since the previous visit, particularly her tongue (which wouldn’t roll properly on the left side). He suggested she come twice a week for the next 2 weeks and that should be all that is required for now.

As for me, I think I will be a whole other kettle of fish. To cut a long story short, my SPD has played havoc with my back, which to him was no surprise (gee, I wish someone could have warned me). He examined me (findings still to come) and decided that my body and reflexes were responding normally in some areas and not so in others, which he indicated was somewhat worse then your body either responding whole heartedly or not at all. So he decided to send me to get some x-rays just to make sure there was nothing untoward with my back (my first x-rays ever, which was a strange experience - I have never had a broken bone, sprain or anything requiring x-ray vision: touch wood).

I must admit, he performed some manipulations of my back which were a little strange and at one point a little uncomfortable. However, they seemed to have the desired effect (re. reflexes) and he was happy.

I am hopeful that over my coming visits things will improve...watch this space!

Lily and The Chiropractor

Ok, so I mentioned yesterday, at the suggestion of the lactation consultant I decided to take Lily to see the special ‘child friendly’ chiropractor.

Today was the day - our first appointment.

Although apparently one of the best around I still managed to ask him at least 4 times whether he dealt with babies much (needless to say he has been ‘doing’ babies for well over 10 years – some as early as 2 hours old) - you can't be too careful!

Today’s session really was an assessment of her condition so to speak. The paperwork was interesting. They wanted to know what type of labour I had; whether she was chemically induced; was she posterior; were there any drugs involved; was there intervention (ie –c-section; forceps; ventose). Labour has a major impact on babies ‘alignment’. Apparently...

“Babies are a bundle of reflexes; these reflexes are controlled by the nervous system. Any compression to the nerves from birthing trauma, long difficult labour or cranial moulding problems can interfere in these nervous system reflexes. This may lead to problems with feeding, colic, restlessness, irritability, ear infections, colds and many other unnecessary symptoms.”

From his examination of Lily it was quite obvious to him that she had some nerve and reflex issues, particularly on the left side (hence the feeding issues on my right side). He noted that in all likelihood she was uncomfortable lying on that side (hence the squirming). There was a lot more said but I just can’t really remember what it was. Lets just say she has ‘issues’.

I will be honest; it wasn’t anything like I really expected i.e. there was no back cracking involved. He explained a few things to me; picked up Lily – talking baby gibberish like a pro – whilst carefully feeling her spine; taking note of reflexes and muscle tone. It was almost as if he wasn’t doing anything really – but he was.

Apparently infants do not carry any previous health complaints and therefore when seen early (apparently the earlier the better – like within hours of birth) their problems can be identified and corrected relatively easily. It won't happen over night; we do require some more sessions, but he did say that I should see some improvements with the feeding over the coming week and they will improve within a few more sessions.

I guess we will see...

On a side note, I mentioned my issues with the SPD and my back and of course he made sure I made an appointment for myself with Lily next week (WOW more $$$).

Before I sign off I also wanted to mention that I caught up with the lovely Kyles today (given I was over her way). It was a lovely fleeting visit and hopefully there will be many more to come!

I'm a Jersey Cow!

I have come to the realisation that I am a jersey cow...yep that’s right; I am a "small, honey-brown breed of dairy cattle that is renowned for the high butterfat content of its milk, as well as a genial disposition". Well not sure about the high butterfat content but definitely have the ‘genial disposition’.

Here’s a snippet of the last 24 hours...

We fed at: 3.30pm, 6.30pm; 8.00pm; 11.00pm; 3.30am; 5.30am; 7.30am; 11.00am; 3.30pm (would have been earlier but for a lactation appointment stuff up); 6.30pm (left side) and 7.30pm (right side) don’t think there was a lot of milk at this stage. It seems that Little Miss Lily likes to eat. And eat a lot she does.

I wouldn’t mind so much if it was all plain sailing, but as I have previously mentioned its not. We are still having dramas with that right side. With the vasospasm, mastitis and low supply it just seems to be an up hill battle with a little bit of wind resistance to boot.

Today, I was supposed to have *another* (note we have had 4 so far!) appointment with a lactation consultant to discuss further what I can do. It seems the lactation consultant and myself had a miscommunication which meant we couldn’t meet. No dramas really except Lily was somewhat starving. I spoke to her over the phone this afternoon and she provided some good advice. She suggested that it might be beneficial for us to see a paediatric chiropractor for some ‘re-alignment’. It was actually uncanny that she had mentioned this because I had read that it was beneficial for babies having some difficulty with feeding, and it was something that I wanted to raise with her.

She gave me the name a good paediatric chiropractor (cause lets face it, I wasn’t going to get ‘any old’ chiropractor to snap Lily back into line). After telephoning them, it turns out they had a cancellation for tomorrow so we are able to be seen sooner rather then later, which is great. Hopefully it will work. I guess tomorrow we will see.

In the meantime, I purchased an electric breast pump ($199 later). Whilst expensive, I consider it will pay itself off in due course – especially considering formula costs $20 a week. I figure I needed a little bit more help then the manual pump could provide me. Don’t get me wrong, the manual pump works well. It’s just with my up hill battle, plus resistance, I think I needed a little bit of push power so to speak, and push power it provides. I was able to express 125mls earlier this afternoon with no dramas, albeit I did skip a feed so it goes without saying there would be more milk then normal. Hey 125 mls is 125 mls and I'm excited (can't you tell I have a life).

Ok, so I am not exactly a Jersey Cow (durr) but I sure do feel like one at the moment...all in a days work I suppose and of course for a good cause.

Byron

Byronism of the Day...

As I have previously mentioned, I have this massive cold sore on my lip. This cold sore seems to be of interest to Byron, who is always looking at it. Today, after he got out of the shower he said to me, “I have a cold sore and you can have a warm sore” - If only it was that easy.

Speaking of Byron, I took him to the GP yesterday for his 2 ½ - 3 ½ year required health check. Officially, he is:

• 14.9kgs (average weight)
• 98.7cms tall (above average height - the doctor commented that he would grow to be around 6ft tall)
• Within normal limits for vision, speech, gait, cardiovascular, development (wherein she commented he had a “[i]huge vocabulary”[/i]). It is also good to know that his ‘boy bits’ are within the normal limits.

He does have a tendency to talk quite loudly at times, so at my request she referred him to get his hearing tested. I made the appointment today for 24 October 2006 and nearly died at the cost - $170!! Unfortunately Byron was born before the compulsory hearing testing of newborn babies was bought in, so I guess we just want to make sure everything is in order in that department, which I am sure it is.

Before I go, I wanted to mention that Lily made her debut into her 'big bed', in her own room, last night (at 5 weeks). I was hoping it would enable me to get some more sleep, ie. I couldn't hear her incessant grunting and squirming because she was in her own room...but so far it hasn't worked - she wants to eat more instead.

Kid's birthday parties - oh the joys!

I was one of these parents (pre children off course) that swore black and blue that I wouldn’t let my kids have a birthday party every year. I didn’t have one and I turned out fine. In fact, I only really had a handful of birthday parties during my childhood and adolescent years. That however, was the done thing back then – none of my friends had parties every year. Generally you got a party every few years or so for the more ‘important’ birthdays.

Oh how things changed when the children arrived...

When Byron came along and he nudged closer to that big ONE I couldn’t wait (or resist) to plan his party and organise the perfect cake (which I of course would make from scratch). We would have a BBQ at the park; I would invite all his little friends (from mothers group), his relatives and some of my friends – it would be perfect (and that it was albeit a great deal of hard work!).

Speaking of cakes, in the months prior to his birthday I remember searching high and low for the Women’s Weekly Cake Cookbook but to no avail (apparently there was a shortage in the months leading up to his birthday). Eventually I was able to borrow one until I could find my own. I remember studying the pages, working out what cake I could make him for his birthday (like he would care!!). I guess I wanted it to be like it was when I was a kid. Although I never really had many birthday parties, I know mum always tried to make a cake. I specifically remember on my 6th birthday (one of the years I had a party) mum made me a rabbit cake (and of course it looked exactly like it did in the book).

There were many cakes I would have liked to have made him but lets face it, I didn’t think my culinary attributes would enable me to. So in the end, I made him a number 1 cake. It turned out quite well – took hours, but the feeling I had at the end was well worth it.

After his first birthday I decided I wasn’t going to give him a party for his second birthday but alas, when it was nearing I couldn’t resist. This time however, it would just be a small gathering at home (and that it was, although there still were a few children). Again, I searched the cake book (finally managed to get my own) for the perfect cake. I can’t remember what I picked, but in the end I never made it. I think the reality of having a 2 year old (and being 7 weeks pregnant) took its toll and I never even made him a cake – my mother did!!!

Shock horror...I decided that I definitely wouldn’t be having a party for his 3rd birthday (remember, he doesn’t need a party every year). Nonetheless, as it rolled around I of course changed my mind – there is an obvious pattern emerging here. However, my rational this time was a little different; a new baby. I figured it only fair that he have his own party or special day. I was worried that the new baby would be stealing all the attention and therefore it wouldn’t hurt for him to have his ‘own day’.

This year I definitely wanted something low maintenance, not at home or in a park, so I opted for a Gymboree bash and boy am I glad I did. It was truly a great party the sentiments of which were echoed by all the mums and dads. In all, he had 14 little friends in attendance. It was a sight to see them all running around screaming, singing, dancing and climbing (and boy was it loud). The hostess was an absolute gem, who took complete charge, leaving me to enjoy the party with Byron. The best part of having the party there was leaving when the other guests did – no cleaning required.

I guess that leaves the cake. When I would ask Byron what he wanted for his birthday he would always say without fail “a smartie cake”. I consulted my cake book and found the perfect cake to make – a piñata cake that had smarties all over it. I had all intentions of making the cake and indeed was quite excited to do so. However, I never envisaged getting mastitis the day before I was going to make the cake, or at least get all the required ingredients, so out the window that plan went. Needless to say, I was quite upset about it.

In the end mum organised a plain chocolate iced sponge for me, which meant all I needed to do was decorate it. I decorated it with Byron’s 3 favourite things...smarties, freckles (come to think of it, they are my favourite) and hundred’s & thousands. It seemed to be a hit with him and the littlies – there was never any further mention of the piñata cake – he was happy with the cake I ‘made’.

I have already picked out the cake I WILL (note emphasis) be making Lily for her 1st birthday next year.

Oh what a day!!!

Oh my, what a day!!! I know people say it...but I really did have one of those days today. Lily was restless all day (wanted to be cuddled non stop); I had my first trip to the dentist in many years. To top it off, I ended up with mastitis!!!

The Dentist Trip...

I psyched myself up for a dentist appointment (now I won’t reveal exactly home long it has been since my last visit to the dentist, but lets just say its been a long long time – to long in actual fact). The dentist is just one of those things that gets put on the back burner (way too expensive, no time, oh and just plain petrified). I’ll be honest, if I didn’t have this god awful pain in my tooth for more then a week on and off (that required the consumption of panadene forte) the trip to the dentist would have been postponed again no doubt.

Anyway, as I said, off I went to the dentist this afternoon for what I thought would be a filling. I waited in the waiting room for my turn...I could hear the drill going for some other patient, so as you can imagine the heart rate started to go up. I had said to Trevor earlier that day that I was really nervous about the whole filling thing – mainly about the needle and drill. He responded with, “what are you worrying for...you just gave birth a few weeks ago without drugs”. I suppose he has a point (but that doesn’t help a whole lot).

Ok, my turn rolls around and I hop on the dentist chair. I could smell that distinct ‘dentist smell’ – I’m sure you're all familiar. The dentist (who was a nice young chap) asked what the problem was. I explained my problem and he had a little squiz and that is where it started to get interesting. He said it was more serious then needing a filling. I had two options:

1. Removal of the tooth (costs around $120 – but of course that doesn’t include the replacement tooth which costs a lot more $$$$).
2. Root canal – 3 step process (costs around $630).

As you could imagine, I thought I was going to the dentist for a filling (around $150). I didn’t think I would have to come away spending a small fortune. Obviously, option 1 was not an option (durr...like I want to have a missing tooth!). So it looked like I had to go route 2. The first step of route 2 costs $250.

Naturally, I couldn’t leave my tooth the way it was as it was quite painful. After much toing and frowing (mainly due to the cost and the pain (or preserved pain)) that would be involved in the process) I decided to go for it. Essentially that meant a needle for the pain, some drilling and cleaning and that would be it until part 2.

“Breathe, breathe, breathe through your nose” – that is what the dentist kept repeating when he jabbed me with the needle. Thankfully the pain wasn’t all that bad. After another needle just to be on the safe side (because he thought we would be hitting a nerve) and a little wait (while the anaesthetic took hold) he was drilling away. The feeling was a little surreal – my lip felt like it was about five times the size it should be; my chin was all tingling and I only had half a tongue (or at least that is how it felt).

After a bit of drilling, which is so not the most pleasant feeling (needle or no needle) – it’s the noise I reckon – he stopped and told me I need you to “make an important decision”. Ahh Ohh - I was thinking my tooth had to come out or something. Thankfully not that serious...As he had not hit the nerve (which he expected would be the case) he decided that a good old fashioned filling was possible (thank God – only $130!!!). However, he did say that a root canal might still be required – hey at $610 I would take the chance and have the filing, and that I did. Overall the experience wasn’t that bad – I will go back – maybe a little bit sooner this time.

Mastitis

Not long after I returned from the dentist, I started to feel extremely cold – like freezing cold. So cold in fact, that after I finished feeding Lily, I went and had a hot bath (strange when it was like 26C out side). The bath didn’t do all that much to warm me up...I still froze. Trevor went and picked up Byron. By the time he got back my temperature was 39C. I was in bed, shivering and aching all over.

During the course of the afternoon, I had noticed an ache in my right breast that had progressively gotten worse. There were no lumps or anything that I could feel. The breast wasn’t red or hot, but it was extremely tender. The pain was a similar pain that I had had a few weeks previously (I had thought my bra had dug in causing some bruising). That pain however had disappeared after a few days.

Mum ended up coming around to take me to the doctors. Meanwhile, Trevor was not a happy camper (and let all know it) because he had a work break up that he could no longer go to (obviously!). By the time I had gotten to the doctors, my temperature was 39.8C and climbing. As expected, he diagnosed me with mastitis and prescribed antibiotics, bed rest and Panadol for the fever. If there were any lumps that decided to stay put, I was to go straight back to see him on Monday.

I suppose it goes without saying that it sure was a rough day.

Edited to add (on Sunday 1 October 2006)...

I am not sure whether it was the antibiotics or 8 hours sleep (in a row) or both, but I felt much better on Saturday, albeit very drained, still sore, but no fever. I am grateful for the nights sleep...Trevor took Lily for the night and did all the feeds which helped immensely (might schedule that as a regular event!). I can’t tell you how good it was to get more then 4 hours sleep after a month of hardly any.

Whilst reading about Mastitis I came to the conclusion that because Lily hasn’t been attaching properly on the right side (the affected side) for the last few weeks she hasn’t been draining it properly which has resulted in a blocked duck. As a further consequence of her poor attachment, my milk supply has dropped to half of what it was (which is really worrying). I am expressing after each feed just to make sure I am getting the most out of it...hopefully that will work.

It seems I am a little rundown, which has spawned this massive cold sore on my lip. I have suffered from them in the past but mainly when I am sick and rundown. It looks awful.

On a positive note...at least my tooth is doing well!

My baby boy is 3!!!

Oh my gosh, Byron is 3 today. Where does the time go?

Happy Birthday my Pumpkin Pie!

27 September, 2006

To My Dearest Byron,

Today you turn three. You are far from a baby, no longer a toddler but a little boy…my little boy; my pumpkin pie. It literally seems like yesterday you were born; yesterday you first smiled; yesterday you learned to walk; and yesterday you learned to talk (and never shut up!). In reality though, the ‘years’ have passed since those events. It is so hard to believe how fast you are growing up. With each passing day, you grow more; learn more and we discover what it is to be Byron.

At three Byron, you are funny (oh so funny!); you have this ability to articulate your thoughts and concerns well beyond your years and have done so for quite a while. There are so many occasions when I have been taken aback but something you have said…and I sit there with a smile on my face…laughing on the inside (I don’t want you to think that I am not taking what you have to say seriously). With this however comes some trouble – you are cheeky beyond belief, sometimes causing your father and I grief with your incessant babble (and it can be relentless) and constant need to talk.

You are sensitive to people’s feelings, especially if they appear upset…and it causes you great concern if something you have done might have upset someone else.

You are just adorably beautiful (I don’t think I’m biased!). I found myself the other day just looking at you…staring deep within your piercing blue eyes (and piercing they are – just like your Grandad’s eyes) wondering what they hide within. When someone said “your eyes are the windows to your soul” they were not lying, because for you…they are your essence and core, revealing so much of your character. You have this ability to communicate with your eyes…cheekily looking sideways when you want something; squinting when you are hysterically laughing; or just simply that wide eyed look of wonderment when you discover something new. It truly is wonderful!

You are the best big brother. It has only been a month, but in that time you have shown what the future holds for your relationship with Lily. I have no doubt, you will be loving, protective and a friend to your sister. I can’t wait to see that relationship grow and develop as the months, years and decades go by.

I am eternally grateful that at 7.40am on 27 September 2003 you entered my world, a world that truly couldn’t have been complete without you. There aren’t enough words to express how much I love you, but as you know, “I love you all the way to the moon and back!”.

I look forward to sharing many many more birthdays with you in the years and decades to follow.

Love always and forever
Your Mummy xxxx

Felt Pens and Nipple Vasospasm....

Byron is generally pretty good with his pencils; crayons and felt tip pens (although all but one of these is out of reach - basically, we just couldn’t trust a 2 year old to draw responsibly with felt tip pens whilst we were not around – at least crayons and pencils don’t mark surfaces too easily. A 2 year old psyche just can’t resist the urge to use those lovely bright pens.). He has never drawn on any walls or books; occasionally he might draw on the table (accidentally – or maybe not so) but generally he draws on the page he is supposed to. However, the last few days he has taken to drawing on himself.

As I might have mentioned, all but one (a nice royal blue felt tip pen) are out of his reach – don’t ask me why this one wasn’t put with the rest of them. This morning, whilst Trevor was getting ready for work and I was in bed feeding Lily, Byron decided to take it upon himself to draw, or should I say colour in his hands (especially his palms), arms and legs with the royal blue pen.

It’s funny because Trevor and I didn’t initially notice it...in fact it was probably half an hour or so before we did (I reckon our eyes must have been painted on). When Trevor did notice it, he didn’t get mad...he just told him to go and see his mother (you know...I won’t discipline but I will get your mother too). At first, Byron wouldn’t come near me, or show me any appendages for that matter. I asked what he had done and then he showed me his arms and hands, which were hiding behind his back. I didn’t get angry (in fact I was trying desperately not to laugh); I just said there would be no more ‘big boy pens’ for him if he couldn’t draw properly. He promptly burst into tears (full on tears) saying "I’m not mummy’s friend anymore!!!" over and over again. Meanwhile he was getting the royal treatment from his father (LOL "daddy’s my friend, mummy's not my friend").

Needless to say, it was bath time for Byron...



I couldn’t go past mentioning that Lily is 4 weeks old today – nearly a month!!! She is filling out well. She seems to be awake much more then she was a week ago, although her wake time wouldn’t consist of more then 3 to 4 hours. During that period however, she seems to be more alert and responsive to what you are saying - no smiles yet!!

She is still feeding every 3 hours (sometimes less) day and night (although sometimes I manage to get 4 hours at night, but not every night) . We are still struggling a little with the breast feeding, especially on the right side. Little Miss Lazy won’t open up her mouth very wide...I have to kinda pry her bottom jaw open with my finger.

I have noticed that on the right side I am suffering from 'Nipple Vasospasm' (Vasospasm occurs when blood vessels constrict (or tighten)). Apparently if you are suffering from this you may:

• feel an intense nipple pain, which some women describe as a burning and throbbing pain (yep I get this)
• notice the nipple or the tip of the nipple blanches or turns white (...and this; thankfully it turns back to its normal colour and doesn't remain white!)
• You may notice the signs and symptoms for a few seconds, minutes or even longer (...it usually lasts for 30 seconds at a time and with a few episodes after feeding)

Apparently one of the triggers for Vasospasm is poor attachment. The most common reason for nipple blanching is that the baby is compressing the nipple while nursing. This is obviously the cause in my situation seeing as Little Miss Lazy refuses to open up her mouth nice and wide which is therefore creating attachment dramas yet again. Dr Google says that applying some heat to the nipple (using a hair dryer or heat pack) after feeding will reduce the pain – Man I can’t wait till all these breast feeding dramas are over. Dr Google (what would we do without him?) also says that if the baby is putting on weight and the pain is manageable then it isn’t a major problem. I must admit that I prefer this vasospasm over cracked and bleeding nipples anytime!

Happy Anniversary!

Today marks Trevor and my 4th wedding anniversary.

Happy Anniversary!!!

Will be back tomorrow to finish this entry (seems to be a running theme of late) - need to get to bed and get a few hours sleep before Lily wakes up!

20 Questions

It has officially begun – that point in a child’s life when they want answers to everything. It all started the other day when we (Bryon and I) were driving along in the car. Byron enquired as to the reason we have trees. I responded without delay by saying "they help us breath by filtering the oxygen" (like a not yet 3 year old could process that answer). He seemed happy with the answer, promptly moving on to his next question "why are there clouds", followed with "what is high up in the sky" ie. What can ‘fly’?

Those questions are fine...easy to answer. It’s those ‘hard to answer’ questions that I am dreading the most. Today, I was on the end of one of those questions. In the bath tonight, Byron asked me "who maked me?". It took me a minute to process the question (was he asking who made him) during which time I said nothing. He then promptly asked the question again "who maked me?". There was no mistaking that he wanted to know in somewhat uncertain terms, where he came from. I responded with "I made you...in my tummy like I made Lily". He seemed ok with that answer although I imagine that as he gets older my around about answers won’t suffice (...I wonder if there are any books out in the market place that provide creative answers to those awkward questions...).

3 weeks already...

Mental Note...write diary during the day because one does not get the chance at night any longer!.

It seems the period between 6.00pm and 9.30pm is the "witching hour" or hours. It’s a time when Lily just wants to be cuddled. If you (meaning me) cuddle her she is fine – no crying. If you don’t, she cries or grizzles. This makes bathing Byron, getting dinner, eating dinner and internet time (mainly EB or MSN) extremely hard.

It is 10.50pm and Lily has just gone to bed...so I need to go to bed seeing as I will be up again in a few hours. So again, I will just "make a space" and come back with my diary entry for week 3 tomorrow (it seems I have a few entries to catch up on).

Til tomorrow...

*********************************************************

Ok I am back, managing to squeeze a few minutes into my diary writing whilst little Miss is asleep in her swing (although for how long I don’t know).

It is hard to believe that Lily is 3 weeks old already; time is just flying by. Over the last week I have noticed that she...

• Still sleeps a whole lot more then she is awake. If truth be told, her wake time would only consist of approximately 3 hours maximum (collective). During that time, she just looks around and moves her little arms freely. Sometimes she gets crossed eyed, which I remember Byron used to do often.

• Continues to look like a newborn baby. When I’m out and about I still get those stares and whispers of "awwwhhh look at that tiny baby...how sweet". I measured her length and it’s around 52.5cms. Her head is around 37cms now (thank god I didn’t have to push that extra centimetre out). She is currently wearing 0000's and some 00000's (I am making sure she at least gets a few wears out of all her clothes - I suspect though this might prove a little difficult)

• Squirms, wriggles and stretches all day long, all of which is accompanied by these peculiar grunting noises and sighs.

• Likes to be cuddled a lot more then she did a week ago. She particularly loves to cuddle up like a Koala, pulling her legs right up high and her arms tucked into her side (Oh I might just have a cuddly one this time around!).

• Is feeding much better then she was last week. Although, feeding on the right side is still a work in progress. At least I can say we are nearly on the home stretch in terms of my ‘left’ nipple (ie. there are no cracks or bleeding in sight – but that could change)!

• Is a little piggy who would feed every 2 hours if she could! At the moment I try to stretch her out as much as I can and usually feed every 3 – 4 hours (although there is no routine to it). Sometimes there is just no stretching and Little Miss Piggy gets her way after 2 hours! At night, after I feed her at around 10.00pm she generally wakes between 1.30 – 2.30am and then again at around 4.30 – 5.30am. She is putting on weight nicely (at her last weigh in she was 3610grams) and starting to get chubby little cheeks and a double chin. She also has this fat, round little belly. Trevor likes to refer to her as the "Ethiopian baby".

She just loves to eat…

The Wedding

Stay tuned...I am just leaving a space for the wedding story (just don't have the energy right at this moment - will be back tomorrow hopefully). Let’s just say, it was a lovely day (apart from the pouring rain!!!).

Byronism of the Day...

The bridal party had just arrived at the venue (via water taxi) and we met Byron, who was a page boy, there. We were talking about how we looked (the bridesmaids) when Byron turned and said to me "your not beautiful mummy, your a princess". Let’s just say, there were a lot of awwwwhhhhsss, none louder of course then mine. I knew he was born for a reason – to boost my ego!

My Speech....

Tomorrow is my besty's wedding...the one I thought I might ruin by either not showing up - ie having my baby, or not fitting the bridesmaid dress because I was too pregnant. I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to know that 1) I will be attending the wedding in my capacity as maid of honour and 2) the dress fits. All I need worry about now is giving my speech and making sure my boobs don't leak everywhere!

Here is my speech...

Today I am speaking on behalf of all the bridesmaids. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Nicole. I have had the great pleasure of knowing T for the last 12 years. For most of those 12 years I have considered her my very best friend and I’d like to think she considered me hers.

We would like to start off by saying Congratulations to T and J. We would also like to thank you both for asking us to be part of your special day (not that you really had much of a choice). It meant so much to me, and no doubt the other bridesmaids, to watch my best friend, marry the man of her dreams this afternoon.

We would also like everyone to join us in commending the best man and the groomsmen for their stellar performance today. You did an amazing job and we know the Bride & Groom truly appreciate all your support.

There are many people giving speeches today so we are going to keep it short. This is by no means a reflection on our feelings for T or J. On the contrary, there are so many things I (and all the bridesmaids) want to say and we know that there are not enough pages to fill or time to speak. So, we are going to break tradition a little bit and not say a speech about T and J but rather a poem to you both.

Wonderful Wedding Wishes

A girl dreams about her wedding
-that blissfully special day.
So much excitement and anxiety
Over what to do and say.

You've found your perfect man
Who loves and cherishes you.
Your loving vows unite your souls,
Creating one heart shared by two.

Marriage is a promise to compromise
No matter how great or small.
Though life is never perfect,
True love surpasses all.

Give freely and unconditionally.
Enjoy a life filled with mutual caring.
We wish you a wonderful marriage
With sweet joys that make life endearing.

As you enter this wonderful new time in your life,
When you make J lucky by becoming his wife,
We wish you all the happiness that the world can provide,
May good luck and fortune be always at your side.

May your marriage be happy, healthy and blessed,
Today and forever, we wish you nothing but the best.

To conclude, I came across a quote that I would like to share with you. I particularly like this quote, T, as it applies to you and J as a couple but it also equally applies to you and I as friends.

"As you sit side by side through this roller coaster of life remember to scream from the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh through the loop-the-loops and enjoy every twist and turn for the ride is better because you share it together."

Night Sweats - Gross!

The first night I spent in hospital (the night I got induced) I woke up about 4 times sweating quite badly (especially around my neck, back, tummy, legs – hey everywhere). I thought it was those annoying plastic sheets on the hospital beds (you know the ones that protect the mattress from blood and the like) that was causing me to sweat profusely whilst sleeping. The following nights I spent in hospital (after delivery) were the same. Every time I woke up to feed (or because someone else’s baby was screaming) I felt disgustingly hot and not to mention, sweaty. I continued to think it was those darn hospital sheets, so I removed the plastic sheet thingy from the bed (yep took it off) thinking this would solve the problem. It didn’t – I still woke up sweating.

It goes without saying that I couldn’t wait to get home to my own bed, with my own sheets because OBVIOUSLY it was the hospital etc that was causing me to be so hot. Wrong...the sweating continued when I got home and has persisted every night since Lily was born. It wasn’t until I was reading a book about breastfeeding (research on my other problem area) that I came across a mention of night sweats. That’s when it clicked...I was suffering (or am suffering) from night sweats.

I had never heard or been told that you could suffer from night sweats after having a baby. I knew that it was normal to feel like you had a bun in the oven when pregnant, but not once the baby was cooked and out. Dr Google doesn’t really have a whole lot to offer on the subject. It does however shed a little bit of light on the issue (enough at least to know its normal and that I am not alone or suffering early menopause).

For those who don’t know...

What it is: Postpartum Sweating aka Night Sweats - The tendency to sweat like you’ve just run a marathon, even though you may be sitting still, or sleeping.

What causes it: Your hormones again, as they instruct your body to rid itself of all those extra fluids it was formerly using to nourish your baby. However, even after the water weight is gone, you may continue to sweat more than usual if you're nursing; theories suggest it is related to hormonal and metabolic changes associated with breastfeeding. Apparently, the emotional stress of new motherhood might cause you to sweat more, too, and though no one knows for sure, it's possible that the dramatic drop in estrogen that occurs right after delivery also contributes. Gee its nice to know there isn’t a definitive cause.

How long will it last: Postpartum sweating can last several weeks after birth, though it tends to last longer for breastfeeding women.

WOW...now that I know what it is, there is no ‘cure’ or treatment available and it will last for a little while longer, I guess I can rest easy – well try to anyway. Might try putting a towel on the bed; maybe the ceiling fan on; sleeping in the nud or just grinning and bearing it!!!

Two weeks!

For the record today marked my due date - week 40 of my pregnancy. I am a proud advocate that 38 weeks of pregnancy is enough.

3.36pm today marked the two week anniversary since Lily’s arrival and what a blur those two weeks have been. It honestly feels like yesterday that I gave birth – not physically so, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. To think that it has been 2 weeks since I was pregnant...2 weeks since I pushed that 36cms head out (with no drugs!)...2 weeks since Byron became a big brother (and I became the mother of two) and 2 weeks (well not quite) since I bought her home, is inconceivable (well to me anyway).

I guess this is due to the fact that so much has happened in these past two weeks that I really haven’t had the chance to just sit back, exhale and take heed of what I have been through since the birth. There have been many hospital visits, numerous visitors (although no where near as many as there was with Byron), a great deal of frustration (due to breastfeeding) and of course much love (what’s not to love about my little Lily).

Trevor went back to work today (actually it was Friday but Byron was at kindy so technically I only had Lily) so today was the first time I was ‘alone’ with 2 kids! This was a little scary seeing as we had a doctor’s visit and I wanted to go to the clinic. This meant obviously that I couldn’t just stay home, and stay safe so to speak. I actually had to pack the kids in the car (by myself) and venture out. To make matters worse, today was a freezing, wet, dismal day in Brisbane (most certainly out of the ordinary). So not only did I have to venture out for the first time with 2 kids, I had to do it in the rain!

First on the agenda was a visit to the doctors to check on Lily. Typical Byron style – he mucks around whilst having the consultation with the doctor (I think it had something to do with the jelly bean factor) and I had Lily so I found it difficult to ‘chastise’ (mental note – must learn to adapt). On a separate note, the doctor was happy with Lily’s eye and said all was healing well. Plus her colour was good. All in all, she was extremely happy with Lily’s progress.

Following the doctor’s visit we headed off to the early childhood clinic to have Lily weighed and to discuss further, with the lactation consultant, my breastfeeding issues. There weren’t to many dramas at this visit – I guess they are used to little kids and offered to put on a video for Byron while I was ‘tutored’ on the breastfeeding front.

Speaking of breastfeeding; it seems that I am taking one step forward and two steps backwards (I feel like I am getting no where). As it stands today, my left nipple is grazed and my right nipple is cracked (and on occasion bled a few times) . To say I have felt frustrated now and then over the past two weeks is an understatement. Frustration, disillusionment, disappointment, sadness have made there way to my neck of the woods – Why can’t I get it? Why can’t Lily get it? Why is this happening this time and not with Byron? What am I doing wrong? I know ‘we’ will eventually get it which is great and why I am persevering. It just seems like a long (and painful) road at the moment, which I guess is completely understandable.

Whilst I type this entry, my little Lily sits here on my lap, wide awake looking around. She doesn’t have a lot of wake time during a 24 hour period. Her wake time consists of around 1 – 1½ hours per day. With Byron I couldn’t wait til he reached the ‘next stage’ whether that be smiling, rolling over, crawling, walking etc. With Lily however, I am just making the most of this tiny little bundle (who wears 00000’s – 0000’s are to big!) sitting happily on my lap because I am so conscious of the fact they grow up so quickly.

No more hospital visits!

I am pleased to advise that the days of hospital visits are behind us...at least for the next 5 weeks anyway.

On Tuesday (5th September) we visited the hospital for the 4th time since we were discharged from hospital. This time it was for another ophthalmologist appointment and the ultrasound of Lily’s kidney.

The ophthalmologist was very happy with her eye indicating he didn’t think there would be any permanent damage – which was music to my ears. All we have to do now is continue with the drops 4 times a day for the next week. If she does get a similar infection in the not to distant future we are to bring her back.

The ultrasound went well. Although, Lily didn’t particularly like it – it seems she just hates being ‘exposed to the elements’.

Today, we had the follow up visit at the hospital (visit #5) to find out more about her dilation problem and the results of the ultrasound. The ultrasound revealed:

• The kidneys are normal in contour and texture for age.
• There is dilation of the pelvis on the left side (0.83cms)
• The left ureter is visible in the pelvis and appears to peristalses actively and collapse on screening.
• The right upper collecting system is also prominent with less marked dilation then the left (0.58cms)
• The right ureter appears normal.
• The bladder appears normal.

What does this all mean???? In short, the paediatrician noted it was good news. Particularly, she was really happy the dilation had reduced by half of what it was in utero (which was apparently more serious then we were led to believe). She noted that, if there was to be a problem, it appears it rests with the left side. At this stage, it looks like the valves connecting the bladder and the ureters are under developed. It is often the case that children will grow out of this at a later stage.

For now, the course of action will be to continue with the antibiotics (which will reduce the chances of urinary track infections). When Lily is 6 weeks old we will have to go back to the hospital for a MCU (Micturating Cysto-Urethrogram) – English: x-ray taken of the bladder and urethra whilst the patient urinates; uses dye. This test should enable the doctors to see exactly what the problem might be. We will then have a follow up appointment to discuss the results and what future action, if any, is required.

For now, it is just a matter of watching her closely to see that she doesn’t develop any urinary track infections.

I for one am extremely relieved that she is doing ok. Lets face it, things could have been a while lot worse with the eye infection and the dilation problem. If anything, visiting the children’s hospital this last week has made me appreciate the fact that I have 2 healthy happy children with no long lasting health problems. For that I am so very thankful.

Moving on...I might have mentioned this already...but gee my boobies are sore.

I visited the lactation consultant yesterday in the hope that maybe she could wave her magic wand and things would be peachy – wishful thinking on my part.

After flashing my boobs to a total stranger (the loss of dignity continues well after child birth) I was advised:

• My bra was well fitting (good to know)
• There didn’t appear to be any infections in the nipple (to my shock horror she noted Golden Staff loves a warm moist nipple!!!)
• I have good milk supply .

Examination of Lily’s mouth revealed good tongue control with no apparent jaw problems which would impede breast feeding.

During the consultation I feed Lily (on the left side for the first time in 2 days without the use of a nipple shield). For what it is worth, the feed didn’t go to bad (by that I mean, the pain wasn’t toe curling and there was no bleeding involved). It appears Lily attaches correctly then moves her lower jaw upwards closer to the nipple, which is causing all the pain and grazing of the nipples. I was advised to take her off each time she does this and then reattach her in the hope that we can 'retrain her' (so much for half hour feeds!).

I left the consultation feeling a whole lot more confident in my ability to breastfeed her. However, this completely disappeared when it came time to feed on the right side. For some reason, my right side seems to be more of a problem then the left. After an hour, I managed to feed her, however I was completely (as I imagine she was) unsatisfied with how things went. Things just went from bad to worse during the course of the day and night. I can tell you...starting a feed at 2.30am and finishing at 4.00am ain’t my cup of tea.

After much frustration on my part and Lily’s, tears and tantrums, I decided it was time to call the consultant again for a little bit of guidance (at that point I think I really needed some reassurance that it would be ok). In short she said breastfeeding is a ‘holistic’ exercise and frustration on both our parts isn’t helping at all. She noted feeds shouldn’t take any longer the one hour from start to finish. So in our case, she suggested that we try for half an hour (or until things get to frustrating) and if things fail that I should express and feed the remaining feed to her in a bottle. Alternatively, she suggested I stick with the nipple shields (at lest on the right breast) until things settle down.

I have taken her advice on board. Here's hoping my boobies get a reprieve shortly.